Before listening to the enlightening sermon of Pastor David Grice, I thought the Wizard of Oz was a whimsical musical featuring a talented cast of actors bringing a classic tale to life. Little did I realize that it’s actually a psychotic story of a young murderer and her unwitting accomplices. Yes, the Wizard of Oz is Satanic, and with the help of David’s hilarious sermon (he reminds me of a chubbier Will Sasso), I aim to prove to you definitively that the movie “The Wizard of Oz” is in fact a secular plot to destroy the world.
#1: Dorothy is a rebellious girl
“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft” [1st Samuel 15:23]
If there’s one thing the Bible can’t stand, it’s rebellious women. Not only is Dorothy rebellious: she often takes a leadership role, even when there are men around. She lacks discipline, she goes against the wishes of her elders, and she’s unusually curious and literate. The Good Book definitely has a lot to say about the role of women in society, and leading a murderous band of thugs (while not itself a sin) certainly isn’t one of them. Just ask Joan of Arc.
#2: Midgets not properly shunned
“Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God” [Leviticus 21: 17-23]
Don’t let their little dance fool you: midgets are evil, regardless of their relative cuteness or musical ability. The Bible is quite clear on the subject of these genetic monstrosities: they are to be isolated and killed immediately. Dwarfism is not the result of a genetic anomaly, malnutrition or a host of other problems, but rather the sinister work of Satan himself.
#3. Witches notoriously NOT on fire
“A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death” [Leviticus 20:27]
While the movie does seem to portray the murder of evil witches as both moral and desirable, the Bible makes no distinction between either good or bad sorcery. All must be tortured into confession, and finally offered a chance to repent before being burned alive. We’re trying to save these women, after all!
#4. People worship some kind of Wizard instead of stoning him to death
And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people.[Leviticus 20:6]
While the “Wizard of Oz” uses technology rather than magic to trick people into worshiping him, his device – a kind of portal through which he voices the will of God and which seems to read people’s secret fears – is really just a subtle metaphor about priests being nothing more than con artists who send otherwise innocent and good people to commit murder for the sake of some esoteric reward.
#5. Oz is clearly trying to satirize heaven
“And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.” [Revelations:21-21]
God loves Gold more than most elements, and Revelations states that the streets will be paved in it. L. Frank Baum’s “yellow brick road” is intended to mock the idea that heaven should any have roads at all. The Emerald City is also clearly satirizing the “Emerald Throne” that God (who is made of Jasper Stone) is said to rest on.
#6. The cowardly lion is a mockery of Jesus
“And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.”[Revelation 5:5]
The Lion (a clear representation of Jesus) has no courage, and while his appearance at first seems powerful and commanding, Toto (who represents doubting Thomas) immediately exposes him as a coward. He is also unwise; he too falls for the campy illusion of the “Wizard” just as the others do.
#7. The Wizard of Oz is a celebration of humanism
Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name. [Deuteronomy 10:20]
Dorothy’s solution for returning home -namely the clicking of her heels- represents man’s independence from God. Since the solution to her problem was “inside her all along”, Dorothy does not need the fear of the Lord to guide her actions, nor does she need “his” power to solve her problems. This totally undermines God’s ability to command (through the loving and exploratory hands of the clergy) his sinful creation.
If you can’t see the work of Satan in this film, then you’re just being ignorant, dog.