I’m beginning to think there are more closeted gay Republicans than there are open Democrat ones, since it seems as though every other day some anti-gay rights crusader gets caught trying to have sex with someone of the same gender. Today’s totally disgraced hypocrite is Indiana State Rep. Phillip Hinkle, who was caught trying to hire a male prostitute on Craigslist.

I say try, since the entire ordeal was just weird, uncomfortable for everyone, and fraught with crazy drama:

The young man told The Star that they met, but that he tried to leave after the man told him he was a state lawmaker. He said the lawmaker at first told him he could not leave, grabbed him in the rear, exposed himself to the young man and then later gave him an iPad, BlackBerry cellphone and $100 cash to keep quiet.

Ok, first lesson is free Phil: if you’ve got a high profile job, don’t cheap out last minute trying to buy someone’s silence. Also, it’s generally a bad idea to give them your fucking cellphone with all your contact information, genius.

Megan Gibson [the sister of the young man] said that on the drive back, she began receiving a series of calls on the BlackBerry, including one from a woman who said she was Hinkle’s wife. “I was like, ‘Your husband is gay,’ ” Megan said.

The wife eventually tried to buy her off for 10 grand (at least someone was thinking straight), but by then the cat was already WAY out of the bag.

So what’s left for this guy? I’d love to believe that perhaps Phil will take this opportunity to embrace his love of cocks and balls and quit living a lie, but by now I think we’re already painfully familiar with how these things turn out: denial followed by admitting to a “moment of weakness” culminating into some kind of “pray the gay away” retreat. Meanwhile, the fact that this hypocrite piece of shit co-sponsored a constitutional amendment to prevent gays from marrying gets conveniently forgotten. Fantastic.