So, as it turns out, sex is pretty popular, and over the past few decades, the use of condoms and other forms of contraceptives has helped decrease STI and pregnancy rates in places that actually bother to teach people real sexual education. Unfortunately for Americans, teaching has made way for preaching, and in this topsy turvy world, facts are the enemy.

Enter 1flesh, a website dedicated to preventing confused human beings from properly managing their reproductive organs. These religiously motivated douchbags are on a quest to get every man and woman to toss out their prophylactics and welcome a new age of barebacking. They’ve released t-shirts and other promotional materials in a bid to make giving out bad sex information look hip and cool.

The pseudo-facts on display include pimping out NPH and suggesting birth control has no impact on unplanned pregnancies. If that doesn’t outrage you, the ‘Birth control pills cause breast cancer’ tropes might. They’ve even thrown in some popular Internet memes in the mix in an attempt to make their lies seem hip.

…we got together — a group of college kids — to find the root of this mentality. (aka what the hell happened!?) Well, though any cultural change contains all sorts of contributing factors, we think we’ve narrowed all the wackness down to its primary cause: The widespread use of artificial contraception.

This is a dangerous idea. It’s dangerous because artificial contraception is heavily promoted by big pharmaceutical companies — like Bayer Corp. — and contraception providers — like Planned Parenthood. It’s dangerous because it’s not an idea supported by those in power. But most of all, it’s dangerous because it’s true.

I’ll tell you what’s fucking dangerous; super gonorrhea, herpes, AIDS and all the other nasty realities of what happens when people stop using protection. When your ‘enemy’ is a public health imperative, what does that mean for all the casualties of war who are influenced by these dangerous idiots?

We found, by looking at the best available analysis from sociology, medicine, philosophy and economics, that the widespread use of artificial contraception has failed to decrease STD prevalence, increased the global rate of HIV, seriously harmed the environment, screwed up relationships, and is strongly correlated with increased divorces, abortions, and unplanned pregnancies. We found that hormonal contraception significantly increases a woman’s risk of breast cancer, cervical cancer, heart disease, and may very well be lowering her sex drive. We found that the safety and effectiveness artificial contraception is often falsely advertised by pharmaceutical companies, and that the health benefits of hormonal contraception are totally exaggerated.

If by ‘the best analysis’ you mean distorting facts to fit your pre-determined conclusions (like claiming this report is against condoms, when all it says is that it’s not the only solution to the crisis)? What about not knowing the difference between correlation and causation? Eating tofu could be correlated with being good at ping-pong. Doesn’t mean shit. Oral contraception does not lead to cervical cancer; in fact, some studies even suggested the use of oral contraceptives could actually decrease the risk of ovarian cancer. Science must be pretty annoying to these guys.

Secretly I’m hoping the r/atheism reddit people flip out and spam the crap out of these assholes for daring to bogart their iconography. Boys and girls of interwebs, unite!

(Update: The site no longer exists, luckily)