When Osel Hita Torres was only 14 months old, his parents took him to see the Dalai Lama, who decreed the boy was the reincarnation of one of their cherished spiritual leaders. He then spent the next 18 years in almost complete isolation, never watching television, and never interacting with other children. The only movie he was allowed to watch was The Golden Child, a shitty Eddie Murphy vehicle about a magical child lama who gets kidnapped. How hilarious is that?

He has since turned his back on the order, and moved to Madrid to study film. He isn’t too happy about how the monks robbed him of his childhood either, saying he suffered a great deal at their hands. If you think monks are just a group of peaceful dudes, you may be surprised to find out Tibet was not exactly paradise under their rule. Native Tibetans were essentially a slave class ruled by a powerful priest order. I’m not saying the Chinese did anyone any favors by invading them, but let’s stop buying into the Dalai Lama’s bullshit story of how the land was a peaceful mecca before; their population was malnourished, undereducated, and enslaved. Sounds swell, doesn’t it?