What happens when you abuse a young girl for years, and you eventually get caught? You go to jail, right? Well, not if you’re too fat to fit in the cell! That’s what’s happened with child abuser Church Elder John William McConaghy, 66, who was convicted of all but 1 of the 21 charges against him. After receiving an anemic 12 months in jail, the judge was reluctant to send this fat piece of crap to jail.

His obesity, diabetes, ulcerated legs and MRSA infection were held to be exceptional circumstances.

Luckily, the prison was able to show that they could accommodate the fat fuck, and he was eventually sent to the slammer.