Thank the dead Palestinian Jew who probably never even existed that Cindy Jacobs and her group of whackjobs were around in 2011 to protect us with her ‘prayer cover’ that’s been actively thwarting terrorist’s attempts. Also in more personal news, I have a rock that can protect you from being mauled by a tiger. I’m currently selling it for the low-low price of $999.99, so you better move if you want my useless piece of shit talisman to protect your loved ones from dangerous man-eating tigers! How do I know it works? Well, I’ve never once suffered a tiger attack, so it’s obviously doing something right! Who knows how many tiger attacks it’s prevented over the years?