Oh Conservapedia, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. We recently donated some money to Wikipedia, the reality-based crowd sourced encyclopedia, so I suppose it’s only ‘fair and balanced’ we give its right wing la-la land equivalent some love too in the form of a post. On its front page next to such fine articles as “Is Barack Hussein Obama a president, or is he a dictator?” and “More than a thousand scientists have issued a report calling man-made global warming what it actually is: a fraud” sits the Article of the Month: “Atheism and obesity”

Amongst other things, this article says:

• non-religious are more prone to being obese than very religious individuals (sounds like someone needs a lesson on causality)
• gluttony is a sin, hence why very religious people are skinnier (and poorer, right?)
• look at how fat the American Atheists board of directors, PZ Myers, Christopher Hitchens, and lesbians are (for more on that last one, check out conservapedia’s helpful ‘Lesbians and Obesity’ article)
• atheists get married less often, probably because they’re fat fucks
• atheists are more likely to kill themselves, again, because a life with gut instead of God is too horrible to bear

The article really is great for lols, but just in case you’re sitting there worried your non-belief is making you fatter, here’s the crux of why this whole thing is dumb: according to the Gallup poll this is all based on, the ‘fat unbeliever’ group makes up 29.7% of the population. You may be surprised atheism has grown so much recently, considering official numbers put the atheist population in the US at somewhere around 6%.

The reason for this sudden quadruple growth in our numbers? Gallup considers anyone where “Religion is not an important part of daily life and church/synagogue/mosque attendance occurs seldom or never.” as part of the 29.7%. Seems to me that definition allows a pretty huge number of fat / lazy believers to get lumped in with us atheists.