Hey parents, may I ask you something? Do you ever fear that the degree to which you wish to protect your children from any kind of harm makes you absolutely batshit insane sometimes? The rest of us childless folks have to wonder what kind of effect having offspring has on your brain, because your behavior can often be described as utterly mental. Take this story involving parents banning the 6th edition of the Merriam-Webster dictionary at Southern California elementary school because it has a definition for “oral sex”.

The disappointing thing here is it took just one parent to complain before the school board freaked out, and you just know it was the parents of the kid who just needed to know what oral sex was. So rather than have to deal honestly with the question, their response was to have the dictionary banned. Now I realize the idiotic things parents do is usually motivated by the love they have for their children, but it doesn’t absolve them from insanity. Can you all chill the fuck out and relax already? Anyone with kids who thinks banning a dictionary will somehow prevent them from learning about the world outside the boundaries they’ve delineated is both naïve and stupid. Can you all stop banning or burning books you think will “warp” their minds? I assure you the only thing you achieve is looking both insane and out of touch with reality.

If you lie or trick your kids about stupid shit (like sex education), how will they ever believe you about stuff that really matters?