When I was a teen, I bought into the bullshit that is Qi (sometimes spelled ‘chi’). I couldn’t help it: if you’ve ever watched the Shaolin Monks do their thing, you might understand why I thought their impressive physical feats were only made possible because of some superhuman element. Fueled by the mythology of comic book heroes, I desperately wanted it to be true (which I was to later learn is the first and most important reason to doubt any dubious claim). I wanted ‘super-powers’ to be a real, so that if any harm ever came to me, I thought perhaps I would simply learn their ‘tricks’ and I would be immune from the dangers of the world.

Like most childhood fantasies, they eventually crumbled under the full weight of rude criticisms, and I came to understand Qi as a method for ancient ignoramuses to differentiate living things from non-living things. In a sense, Qi was a magical invention that could supposedly account for life, and like all nonsense, over time it grew into an increasingly complex form of bullshit. Fast forward to today, where the evolution of Qi continues.

You can join this free distant energy healing session by using your intention to be included. If you wish to join, just close your eyes for a minute when you read this and mentally say that you intend to join the session and want to be included. That is all you have to do to connect with the energy and you don’t have to do anything else. Healing energy can begin to flow to you once you do this as many people who have done this before have reported.

How does it all work, you ask?

Many spiritual traditions teach that we are all connected and now some Quantum Physicists are saying the same thing.

Ah yes, the “We are all connected” trope that hippy weirdos love to throw around like it means something it doesn’t. Sure, it’s amazing that there is no functional differences between the atoms which make up a rock and the ones that make up my body, except perhaps I like mine better. This doesn’t mean, however, that the rock and I share a special connection. If someone threw it at my head, that ‘connection’ might not really be that great for my prolonged existence.

This annoying idea that ‘energy’ heals ignores the fact that most forms of energy in the universe produce violent reactions that forge new elements, turn regular matter into super hot gases, or blast unsuspecting, cooling balls of rock with deadly radiation. I doubt anyone is basking in the oneness of the universe when they get hit by a gamma ray burst, but I digress.

So, who is up for sending ‘positive’ vibes by sitting in your kitchen and having wishful thinking be your guide to reality? Not this fucking guy, I can tell you.