In a continued effort to try and still be relevant, Newt Gingrich recently spoke to a modestly sized crowd in Cumming, Georgia assuring them of his (false) piety, and warning his dwindling support base that it was time for evangelicals to “defend themselves”:

“The other side will fight back and they will fight back on two fronts. You will have radical Islamists who want to kill us and you will have secularists who want to coerce us, and that’s why, for example, recently you saw the Obama administration trying to coerce the Catholic Church because it is the inevitable nature of the left to use government to impose on us their values,” said Gingrich.

Imposing values is uniquely left, you say? I suppose if we ignore governmental legislation trying to ban abortion, draconian anti-immigration laws that treat Hispanics as second class citizens, or the myriad of ways that religious douchebags use the government to impose their own values, then yes, you could claim that with a straight face.

As for this paranoid assumption that secularists “coerce” people, what he really means is that we’ll effectively change people’s minds and make them abandon their foolhardy beliefs. I do love, however, how we’re on the opposite spectrum of Islamic fundamentalism. I take that with a badge of pride.