I can’t stand TV sitcoms. Maybe it’s the fact their predictability is only surpassed by the insipidness of their jokes. Who knows. Generally speaking I tend to ignore the crap out of them and call it a day.

One of the chief perpetrator of nauseating trash on TV is the show Two and a Half Men. You might remember former star Charlie Sheen had a bit of a meltdown (give a junkie millions and watch what fun stuff he does), and was replaced with the even more obnoxious Ashton Kutcher. Now it seems another actor is drawing controversy.

Angus Jones, who plays the kid (well, now young adult) recently released a video about his religiosity, and apart from the regular tropes religious people can’t help but regurgitate, he also expressed remorse at his involvement with the TV show, which he called ‘Ungodly Filth’ due to its sex-heavy stories. He’s recently come out as a Seventh Day Adventist, and he urged his fan not to watch the show, lest the poor guy become corrupted by the message that sex is fun and awesome.

In case you were wondering what Seventh Day Adventists are all about (who can keep track of all these nutty religions?), they’re an offshoot of the Millerites, a Rapture-like movement who predicted the Second Coming of Jesus would occur between 1843 and 1844. When the prediction failed (something the Millerites called “The Great Disappointment”), most of the followers went back to their old congregations with their tails between their legs. A few decided that William Miller’s calculations of the Second Coming was something else entirely, and formed their own groups with different ways of justifying their total embarrassment in the face of reality.

The groups that eventually mutated into today’s modern Seventh Day Adventists focused on doctrinal differences with mainline Protestantism in 3 fundamental ways:

1) Immortality is conditional on belief in Jesus, who only grants you ever lasting life if he so chooses. Otherwise, you vanish into non-existence (no Hell)
2) Saturday is the day of rest, and not Sunday
3) Eat Kosher, and refrain from most of the fun stuff life has to offer

These former Millerites are all looking forward to the End Times and all that fun head chomping, wine-press full of blood shit fundamentalists are so fond of.

To recap, a kid who went to Christian schools his whole life (not a good sign or education) suddenly feels guilty that the 350k he makes per episode is leading to the moral decay of society; something he should actually be happy about, since this is but one of many supposed signs of the end times. Here’s an idea, pal: why don’t you quit the show, give all your money to charity, and sit on your roof waiting for your homicidal messiah to come down and kill all your enemies?