Remember how American elections are never about issues that are actually relevant to the health of the nation in general? Even while your economy continues to tank, politicians seem totally unconcerned that The Federal Reserve gave American banks over 7 trillion dollars with a negligible interest rate, or that the protracted War in Afghanistan and Iraq has cost them another 1.29 trillion. No, the most important thing for moronic politicians like Michele Bachmann is Congress deciding to remove an outdated military Code of Conduct that forbids uniformed officers from sodomy (that’s non vaginal sex) and fucking animals.

So naturally, everyone without a brain is up at arms that this repeal would suddenly send a message to kids that it’s ok to bang Fido. Here’s Michele’s brilliant argument as to why this issue is so important, and not at all a complete fucking distraction from shit that actually matters:

It’s absolutely abhorrent, reprehensible and you think, this is the kind of thing parents try to keep from their children because parents want to have their children enjoy innocence. Children need that latency period, they need innocence and your own government legalizes this? … Are we really going to say ho hum and laugh and go back to sleep?

I don’t think this woman knows how laws are passed. Repealing an outdated and clearly bigoted code of conduct isn’t the same as drafting legislation to make something legal. That’s alright, though: she’s only running for the highest office in the land! She doesn’t really need to learn any of this legal mumbo-jumbo, does she? Wait, what’s her current job?