Missing link is found

Remember all those stupid arguments you had regarding evolution with your uncle? He kept asking you “well, if we come from monkeys, where’s the missing link?” Well, you can now tell him the missing link is currently in Oslo, Norway. Ida, as the fossil is called, is perhaps one of the greatest fossil finds of our time. The previously oldest fossil of our ancestors was Lucy, who clocked in at roughly 3.4 million years old, and even she was only 40% complete. Ida, on the other hand, is 47 million years old and is 95% complete!

The species, dubbed Darwinius masillae in honor of Darwin’s 200th birthday, is a type of lemur that eventually split off into the familiar species we know of today. Ida is the most well preserved fossil from the Eocene era, so much so that scientists were able to analyze her last meal, and even what her fur must have been like.

I can already hear creationists preparing their response to such an earth shattering discovery. Here is undeniable proof of our ‘lowly’ origins, but even the missing link won’t be enough to deter religious wackos from declaring this must be a test from God or something. Can’t they just accept the fight is over? We won, bitches.