I’ve heard a lot of tortured explanations from the Catholic Church over the years as to why so many priests are sexually abusing children. Pope Benedict XVI claimed it was increased secularization that somehow made their theists behave so immorally. Homosexuality has also been blamed, despite the fact that as many female children are abused as males. Finally, though, one pedophile priest by the name of David Edwin Rapson in Australia has finally used a novel defense I think makes a bit more sense: He blamed God for making him that way:

A former Catholic priest accused of molesting boys at a Victorian school said, “God made us this way and it’s his fault” when a fellow priest urged him to resist

When he was finally confronted by a fellow priest, he responded to his accuser with “You’re one to talk. You’re the same as me….You know what we do here”, prompting me to think this must be yet another way these bastards get away with abuse for so long. Who’s going to report them? Their fellow molesters? Yeah, that fucking seems likely.

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has recently OK’d a royal commission to look into the abuse after a police detective named Peter Fox wrote a letter to his premier begging him to open up an investigation. Fox felt both the police department and the Church had actively sabotaged any investigation into the matter, and an independent body needed to look into the matter. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the government to spring into action (yeah, I know how weird it is to even write that down). Now we only need to sit back and watch the horror unfold before our eyes. I hope you have a strong stomach, Aussies, because you’re about to be put to the test in the coming months.