By now I’m sure you’ve seen this video, or at the very least heard others talk about the fact Sarah Palin seems to think the Bible (and in particular the 10 commandments) is an excellent resource for the crafting of modern laws. It’s what her religious zombies want her to say, even though there isn’t one person alive who can tell you exactly HOW you’re supposed to use this ancient, primitive text to prescribe laws in this complex and modern world. What are you supposed to do about issues of slavery, genocide, infanticide, murder, and animal sacrifices, all of which are condoned in this supposed “holy” text.

So which Commandment does Sarah Palin want laws made from? Would she try and make adultery a crime? Presumably you’d probably need to jail close to half of the adult male population if extra-marital sex was suddenly against the law. What about a law against making false idols, or working on a Sunday? Are you doubly screwed if you worked one weekend at a chocolate bunny factory? These “crimes”  are all punishable by death; does that mean we would need to issue the death penalty for single mothers who need to work 7 days a week to provide food for their families? The “big guy” also doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about the whole “coveting your neighbor’s ass” thing also, so I wonder how a modern capitalist society is going to enforce that one…

Luckily, all of these questions can be answered by turning to the Bible for guidance in this matter. Let us turn to First Timothy, chapter 2 verse 11:

A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet

Phew, and here I thought we’d have to keep listening to this crazy bitch!