Looks like some priests aren’t content to just blame homosexuality for the rampant abuse of children; Bernardo Álvarez, the Bishop of Tenerife in Spain, had this to say about the recent scandals:

There are 13 year old adolescents who are under age and who are perfectly in agreement with, and what’s more wanting it, and if you are careless they will even provoke you

I think this is called the “Lolita” defense, and it sounds about as convincing as you might imagine. All those kids who were sodomized against their will were really just asking for it, shaking their prepubescent little booties around, wearing tight t-shirts with the Transformer logo, and smelling of bubble gum and candy. The whores! How dare they tempt these poor Holy men of the cloth with their sexy, completely underdeveloped bodies?

So to recap, the people to blame are homosexuals (for spreading their sin around town) and overly sexed kids, who continually tempt priests with their erotic use of the word “dude”. You wouldn’t want to place the blame on pederast pieces of shit who have ruined the lives of thousands of innocent children; why, that would just be wrong and an insult to the memory those poor, downtrodden priests who did nothing more than “give” those horny kids what they were begging for!