Once upon a time there was a mean old atheist who didn’t like the fact his government was showing obvious favoritism to the dominant religion of his fellow citizens. He dared to ask that other holiday displays not affiliated with the mythology of Jesus also be allowed to be publicly displayed, and a more inclusive form of festivities could be added, so as to reduce the alienation of others.

Luckily, a lovable crank had a dream about what would happen if America didn’t shove Christianity in everyone’s face with a bunch of ghosts, and when he woke up the next morning, he gathered up all his strength and headed over to his little TV station and let the world know about that awful man trying to ruin 70% of the population’s good time. What a hero!