A man who dresses in red robes and calls himself by a special name believes individuals who reject the notion of unsupported supernatural claims are irrational. Walter Brandmuller may never have played Dungeons & Dragons, but if he did, he might realize there is nothing particularly special about his title; definitely not enough to pretend to know anything about objective reality. When, however, has that stopped these clowns from pretending they do?

He’s written a book, presumably based on his expertise in fucking nonsense, and claims belief is rational. Why? Because miracles happen of course!

The cardinal addressed the topic of miracles, recalling what happened in Calanda, a small town not far from Saragossa, Spain, where there was a youth named Miguel Pellicer whose leg was amputated. Two years later and despite the difficulty in walking, the youth undertook the journey to the Marian shrine of Santa Maria del Pilar in Saragossa.

Wow, what an incredible event. It must have been documented by some pretty serious scientists, right? Oh, it happened almost 400 years ago, way before the invention of modern medicine… Well, that’s pretty convenient, isn’t it?

“In reality, the target of the atheists is not so much God but the Church, the Pope and the Vatican,” said the prelate. He added that the Church has been attacked since the beginning of the Christian era, the Pope for 2000 years and the Vatican since its existence.

To be fair, how can atheists “attack” something which doesn’t exist? You don’t see me running around with a baseball bat trying to fight evil leprechauns, so I’ve had to set my sights on something that actually is real, and that’s the history of abuse, murder, torture, moral bankruptcy and child rape of the Catholic Church. I’m so sorry my disdain for your evil organization makes you feel so upset, Wally. Tell you what: hand over all the pedophiles you’re still harboring, abandon your dangerous rejection of condoms in Africa, and fight for women’s rights instead of making them reproductive slaves and maybe I’ll leave you alone.

On second thought, fuck it.