If you live in a poor country and have no skills whatsoever, you should consider becoming a witch doctor. Rather than contribute something to society, which takes time and effort, you’ll enjoy the benefits of making shit up and still get paid. It’s like being a priest without a weighty institution holding you down; you get to be your own boss, and you set your own rules (sweet, eh?).

Of course, if you’re predisposed towards empathy or hate the idea of misleading your fellow man for profit, this job might not be for you. It takes some brass cojones to pull some of this shit off; just look at the story of this couple, who were told by a local witch doctor that by sacrificing their 3 month old daughter, they would suddenly become very wealthy. If you’re unfortunate enough to have a conscience, you should probably consider another line of work.

If we can accept the fact we are all simply naked apes with underdeveloped brains, it’s easy to accept how fantastically stupid we are sometimes. Still, although people do some tremendously dumb things pretty damn often, it would probably not be so bad if we stopped listening to fuckfaces who are quite literally experts in nonsense.