Before my buddy Jeff came out of the closet, he was a homophobe. I never really understood why, but later he explained to me that it had to do with his secret loathing of himself because of his sexual attraction to other men. I’ve never had to deal with such a powerful internal conflict, but when I sat down and really thought about it, it made perfect sense. This kind of phenomenon is well known in the gay community; in fact, they see extreme homophobia as being one of the first signs that someone is secretly in the closet. It’s called “Internalized Homophobia“.

With that in mind, here’s my candidate for closeted homosexual of the month: Steven L. Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church. Steven went on a bit of a tirade against gays recently, and apart from saying homosexuals should be executed for the crime of sodomy (he seems unaware that a significant portion of gay men actually don’t like anal sex), he also believes their sin is spreading like wildfire. I’ll let him tell you how he really feels about the whole thing:

You want to know who the biggest hypocrite in the world is? The biggest hypocrite in the world is the person who believes in the death penalty for murderers and not for homosexuals.

He also apparently feels that gay men are multiplying:

How are they multiplying? Do you not see that they’re multiplying? Are you that blind? Have you noticed that there’s more than there were last year and the year before, and the year before that? How are they multiplying? They’re reproducing right? No, here’s a biology lesson: they’re not reproducers, they’re recruiters! And you know who they’re after? Your children. Remember you dropped off your kids last week? That’s who they’re after. You drop them off at some daycare, you drop them off at some school somewhere, you don’t know where they’re at. I’ll tell you where they’re at: they’re being recruited by the sodomites. They’re being molested by the sodomites. I can tell you so many stories about people that I know being molested and recruited by the sodomites.

And here I thought kids were usually just going to school to learn, but Steven believes that gay men are raping and molesting children, who in turn switch over to the other side. Well, if that was true, then every women who’s ever been raped would become a rapist herself, but I guess that doesn’t fit his specific predjudice at all.

They recruit through rape. They recruit through molestation. They recruit through violation. They are infecting our society. They are spreading their disease. It’s not a physical disease, it’s a sin disease, it’s a wicked, filthy sin disease and it’s spreading on a rampage. Can’t you see that it’s spreading on a rampage? I mean, can you not see that? Can you not see that it’s just exploding in growth? Why? Because each sodomite recruits far more than one other sodomite because his whole life is about recruiting other sodomites, his whole life is about violating and hurting people and molesting ‘em.

Now I hate to make pronunciations on people I know very little, but after listening to the recording this was actually transcribed from, I can’t help but feel he’s not showing all his cards. Steven, I know that you think they are trying to recruit you, but your physical attraction to men isn’t because of anything they do (unless they are wearing hot pants I suppose) or a test of faith from God. It’s just your biology, so go out there and go enjoy your new life as a gay man. I’m sure you’ll fucking LOVE it.