It’s not enough we have to put up with the fact that Marmite (also known as Vegemite) exists; we now have to deal with some of its fans thinking the face of Jesus has appeared on one of its lid. Look, if there is a god and he’s trying to communicate with you, do you really think he’s going to pop up in what is arguably the most disgusting substance known to man? I know I’ve got a lot of Aussie and British fans who can’t get enough of that yeasty bullshit, but even you have to admit how gross that crap really is (it’s a by-product of beer brewing, and if you’ve ever seen how beer is made, you probably wouldn’t drink it). Marmite reminds me of the goo that accumulates in my sink if I leave the dishes in there for a few days.

I don’t know what’s worse: moronic Christians who think a Marmite Cat Stevens is in fact Jesus, or the sticky black substance actually exists. I’m torn…