Are you feeling strangled by religious conservatives? Are you tired of zealots trying to control every aspect of your life? Well, too bad if you are, because these religious nutballs are just getting warmed up.

Oklahoma Senator and all around ballbag Dusty Deevers has introduced a bill that would outlaw sexting to anyone other than your spouse. This is all part of a larger effort to try and outlaw pornography altogether.

How he plans to accomplish this reminds me of bounty posters in the Wild West. You see, a person can file a lawsuit against someone they suspect of enjoying their freedom as an American, and they can receive up to 10k for snitching. The person you accused of witchcraft, I mean sexting, would face up to 25 years in jail, and a fine of up to 25k (presumably to help fund this sick game of tattle tale).

You might be wondering how broad this ridiculous and unconstitutional law is. It’s so broad that just about anyone who participates in any remotely sexual activity would instantly become a criminal:

This bill is broad enough to include any person’s, like butt selfie for example, it includes live performances in play. So that would seem to include strip clubs definitely and maybe also burlesque and drag performances and things like that,” Nolan Brown said.

The good news is that there’s no way in hell is this thing going to pass. Even in some Christian Nationalist nightmare world, I find it hard to fathom that any prosecutor would dare go after people for living their best life. Considering that Oklahoma is considered one of the worst states to live in, it sounds like there are more important priorities to focus on, like ranking 48th in healthcare, or almost dead last in educational standards.

Apart from crazy, unpredictable weather, the study said Oklahoma has one of the nation’s highest rates of drug abuse, and the second highest rate of people without health insurance. Homelessness is another big issue.

You know, there are way more serious problems in your state than people sending themselves sexy pictures, Dusty. If you want to help improve your state, maybe don’t create ridiculous laws that create dangerous witch-hunts.