Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. This is the lesson that Ottawa, Mich. Christians are beginning to learn. You see, a few months back, the Board of Commissioners was sued by an LGBT group for only allowing Christian prayers before the beginning of meetings. Because of that pesky First Amendment of their own Constitution, the Board was forced to allow other faiths the opportunity to spread their own religion. Enter the Satanic Temple, always there to freak out Christians.

A member call Luis Cypher (I mean, that’s just clever), began his evocation thusly:

“That must be destroyed by truth, should never be spared. It’s demise. It is done. Hail Satan. Thank you very much, we wish everyone a wonderful evening tonight.”

This of course outraged Christians, who still think that followers of the Church of Satan are somehow worshipping the devil. So naturally, they fail to understand that all of this is a reaction to their own unconstitutional practices.

“Tonight you all had failed miserably in your primary responsibility. You have out of the respect for a flawed custom of men allowed worship not only to a false ideal of man’s creation but to the greatest enemy of the all good God who allowed you to fill these positions,” one resident said at the podium while holding a cross.

Obviously that guy watched too many horror movies, thinking that his little torture device does anything at all. It’s the equivalent of clutching your pearls. Honestly, I am always grateful and delighted by the Satanic Church. Who else out there is shoving Christian hypocrisy in their faces like they do? Keep on truckin’, you hedonistic beautiful bastards!

Christians have a warped sense of justice. In their eyes, if their favorite religion doesn’t have unilateral control over society, then it means they are being oppressed. It reminds me of a bully that cries fowl the moment someone dares to stand up to them. No content with trying to ram their faith down everyone’s throat, they are now trying to use the legal system to attack groups they dislike.

In Iowa, their governor by the name of Kim Reynolds has signed a new bill in secret during a meeting with a conservative Christian organization, despite the fact that business leaders have vehemently opposed it, afraid that it could spell disaster for the private sector.

A person, corporation, church, foundation or other entity whose exercise of religion has been burdened can go to court to seek damages or other means of redressing the harm against them.

How is a corporation “exercising” their religion? Clearly, this is being done in order for religious groups, upset that they have to treat others with dignity and respect, to be able to sue these groups for money. Many businesses in Iowa will now need to tiptoe around these religious fanatics, lest they be taken to court for offending them.

This kind of unconstitutional law is just another example of religion encroaching on public policy. The first amendment can apparently suck it: so long as people continue to elect these fundamentalist morons, they will continue to create chaos. What person in their right mind would purposefully choose to live there now?

To all my Satanist friends out there, I think it’s time to put this law into effect. Have you been discriminated against because of your love of Baal? I can only imagine the outrage on Christian faces when other faiths start using these laws to sue companies like Hobby Lobby, or Chick-fil-a for discrimination. You know why it’s better for a country to have “no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”? It’s in order for every belief to have an equal footing.

If these guys want to fight dirty, I say we oblige them.

If you haven’t heard of the name Tom Parker, odds are you soon will. The Chief Justice is making news after declaring that embryos are children, in a landmark case that is bound to send shockwaves through the state, if not the country.

It all began with a lawsuit. A couple that was using Invitro fertilization wanted to sue the clinic in Alabama for accidentally destroying a few of their frozen embryos. The Center for Reproductive Medicine, located in Mobile, Alabama, had an accident during the transfer of the embryos, and they were lost as a result. The couple, rather than move on with their lives, decided that they wanted to sue them for wrongful death. The case went all the way to the state Supreme Court, which ruled an overwhelming majority of 8-1 that these embryos were indeed children. The court, which sounds more like a branch of the Vatican, quoted the Bible multiple times, and the name “God” is invoked over a dozen times.

“Human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God,” he wrote in a concurring opinion that invoked the Book of Genesis and the prophet Jeremiah and quoted at length from the writings of 16th- and 17th-century theologians.

“Even before birth,” he added, “all human beings have the image of God, and their lives cannot be destroyed without effacing his glory.”

Parker further claims that all governments are created by God, this despite the fact that the Constitution he swore to uphold makes it abundantly clear that government is to stay out of the business of mandating religion. He doesn’t see it this way. He’s part of a clandestine Christian movement called “The Seven Mountains”, which aims to inject their religious tyranny in all aspects of government. This plan has been in motion for decades, and because everyone around them was asleep at the wheel, they’ve effectively turned the state into their version of a theocracy, complete with religiously mandated laws.

As a consequence of this decision, fertility clinics across the state have suspended all services. This means that couples wishing to have assistance in having children are incapable of doing so until this insane mess is sorted. Considering how stacked with Christian nationalists the courts are, it’s doubtful that this will be repealed. Even Republican lawmakers seem confused about the decision. They claim to be “pro families”, but had no idea that declaring a frozen clump of cells a “human child” would have terrifying consequences for IFV clinics. Since the Supreme Court decision was literally made to allow a couple to sue over a few of their embryos being destroyed, this means that it’s doubtful that any medical organization would even dare operate in a state where they are always one mistake away from financial oblivion. This has spelled disaster for thousands of Alabamans struggling with fertility.

Again and again voters were sold a pack of lies, courtesy of religiously minded politicians that place their faith above their duty to their fellow countrymen. Many of them entered politics not with a desire to help, but with the ambition of turning their country into an unrecognizable religiously repressive place, where freedom is a thing of the past, and subjugation to their imaginary friends and his conflicting rulebook. It is time to weed out these religion elements and expose them for what they are: the American Taliban.

If you’re an American, hopefully you’ve come to the realization that your country is in serious trouble. The rise of Christian Nationalism went from a growing concern to an outright menace to free society.

If you think I’m being hyperbolic, than it means you haven’t read this: the manifesto for The Center for Renewing America, a think-tank (I use the word loosely here) lead by a man named Russell Vought. Vought had previously worked as Trump’s director of Office of Management and Budget when he was president, and he’s preparing himself and others for the return of the big orange turd by crafting a document outlining all the messed up crap he wants to implement on Trumps first day in office.

Vought sees his and his organization’s mission as “renew[ing] a consensus of America as a nation under God,” per a statement on CRA’s website, and reshaping the government’s contract with the governed. Freedom of religion would remain a protected right, but Vought and his ideological brethren would not shy from using their administration positions to promote Christian doctrine and imbue public policy with it, according to both people familiar with the matter, granted anonymity to avoid retaliation. He makes clear reference to human rights being defined by God, not man.

First, I highly doubt that freedom of religion would remain a protected right. Currently, there are Christian lawmakers that have been trying to get Satanism removed from the list of recognized religions, and this is only the tip of the iceberg. These psychos will do just about anything to make sure their religion is top dog, and it wouldn’t surprise me if other faiths were soon on the chopping block.

Second, what I find terrifying is the renewed confidence of these assholes in thinking that the rest of us will just sit back and let this happen. They live in such a bubble that they think the majority of Americans feel the way they do. It simply isn’t the case. Most Christians are not dominionists, and considering how many different denominations there are, to treat them as a one large group has never really worked. Although we may not like it, atheists have to ally themselves with those faith groups that are strongly opposed to this kind of sectarian agenda.

Lastly, atheists have to get off their asses and start making moves themselves. Christians have been infiltrating governments for decades, and this strategy is starting to bare fruit. If we sit back and let other people get involved, than we shouldn’t be surprised if we end up with targets on our backs. The stakes are high, and we can no longer bury our heads in the sand hoping that people will drop religion like a bad habit.