If you were ever naïve enough to believe that religion is anything more than a giant money grab, I have a few magic beans I’d love to sell you. When it comes to money, there’s one thing that’s always been consistent with the Catholic Church: they will go to any length to make sure that they get what they want.

In the great state of Texas, a group of nuns fought to retain their independence from the Vatican, and failed spectacularly. It seems as though their property is a bit too lucrative to leave it to a bunch of sexless nuns to run, and so a bunch of allegations magically surfaced about one of them, accusing Rev. Mother Teresa Agnes Gerlach of breaking her vow of chastity by engaging in phone sex. She was forced to leave the church forever for her sin. The priest who engaged in this same activity with her, on the other hand, was given a slap on the wrist.

This smokescreen was all the pretext needed for a hostile takeover. Bishop Michael Olson and other cronies with the “Association of Christ the King”, at the behest of the Vatican, were ordered to take over the monastery. Coincidentally, it just happens to sit on some very sweet real-estate that was being managed by a bunch of girls. This would not stand.

At first, the nuns attempted to take out a restraining order against them, saying that they were operating independently already, and that despite the forced departure of their head nun for having phone sex, they were already governed by a board in any case. They argued that only an order from the Pontiff would change their mind. This was probably due to their naivete, thinking that the Holy See cares for anything other than cold hard cash.

It didn’t take long for the Pope to respond that the nuns should accept the new management, but they tried in vain to keep their independence. The courts told them they had no legal standing, since they were associated with the larger church, and presto, the monastery is now theirs, courtesy of a nice legal loophole that allowed them to pretend than the forceful expulsion of one of their members deserved a complete takeover.

This has all the hallmarks of a 80’s merger and acquisition style movie, with the only difference being that everyone is a sexually repressed weirdo in ridiculous outfits. The comment section in the Catholic Register is filled with angry people pointing out not only the greedy takeover, but also the blatant hypocrisy in the treatment of the nun compared to the priest. What these well meaning fools fail to realize is that this is the intended purpose of their faith. This is not a corruption of the edicts of the church: this is a fulfillment of them. One can only hope that the remaining followers of this powerful and sinister organization will rescind their support. Until then, they will continue to act with impunity and grab more money and power whenever it suits them best.

The Vatican is often portray themselves as a religious order, but it’s important to remember that they operate much more like a corporation that a religious order. However, there are often times when they like to blur the lines, and in the process of enriching themselves, some of the deals the Church involved itself in occasionally go bad. When that happens, they suddenly require the intervention of the secular legal system.

In a recent ruling in the UK over a real estate deal gone bad, the court is forcing the Vatican to turn over communication between two pontiffs who spoke about the deal over a variety of phone application. The Vatican had tried to argue special privilege, but the court was not having it:

In a landmark ruling in the High Court, a judge, Mr Justice Foxton, overruled the Vatican… and ordered that they should disclose the highly-sensitive correspondence.

The documentation is at the centre of what is known as the Vatican’s “trial of the century,” where British financier Raffaele Mincione is seeking to clear his name after being accused of defrauding the Catholic Church over a property deal.”

It’s quite hilarious that two of the priests involved tried to argue that their communication over electronic apps somehow fell into the sacred realm. They went so far as to claim that revealing the documents that the court requested in discovery would amount to “a grave sin”.

Imagine having to do business with a mega rich organization that will pretend that their special rights, which I have argued strongly has absolutely no business existing in the first place, extends also to business dealings. It just goes to show how little they value it moralistically. It is simply a tool to be used to their advantage, whenever possible. Only a gullible fool would believe that the intention of these protections are solely for the faithful. They are instead used to shield a secretive and sinister organization that covers up countless crimes.