Sick and tired of children’s entertainment that’s fun, informational, and secularist? Well, The Flizbins are here, and they promise you “safe” children’s programming. Presumably, the stuff that’s currently out there for preschoolers must all be evil or unsafe. Luckily, their totally inoffensive songs are sure to delight parents and kids alike!

You can tell from their stiff, forced dances that something educational is happening, especially after they say the word “Dance” a total of 46 times. I especially love the clumsy rap introduced – rather inelegantly – by primitive beat-boxing. Their odd message, interspersed by the supposed need to dance, seems utterly drowned out by the repetitive music. If they are trying to communicate anything with your children, it’s quickly lost in their meaningless chorus. Dance because God loves spending time with you! Dance because the sky reminds some cowboy how awesome your imaginary friend is! Dance because you’re trying to make money in this overcrowded market!