Can you believe the nerve of these Hollywood people? They dare to brainwash our kids with movies depicting oil executives as evil people. Why, that’s just not true! Did you know all oil executives are cuddly teddy-bears that care deeply for the environment and for the future of children? Sure, you might think that these people are leveraging our future in order to make record profits, or that corporations like Shell aren’t afraid of getting mixed up with brutal military juntas that kill anyone that gets in the way of the oil flowing. Those are just nasty rumors propagated by bearded hippies who make sock puppets in an attempt to moralize to our youth.

I love this idea that the Hollywood movie industry “hates” big corporations, despite the fact that the place is run by some of the largest companies on the planet. These are the same people that want to stifle the creativity of the Internet because they are afraid of people downloading their shitty movies for free. Yeah, clearly these guys hate money.