Those Christians sure do love their trinity. Because they believe that their deity exists in three parts, this often means that anything that comes in threes is often considered to be divine, regardless of what it is. For example, when Father Marko Rupnik was trying to satisfy his sexual urges, he pressured his female colleagues into having a threesome with him, because it would bring him closer to the trinity. If he wasn’t a creep who abused of his power, you’d almost have to admire the set of brass balls to pretend there was anything sacred to his nasty little habit.

“He said that I would not grow spiritually if I did not meet his sexual needs. We had another nun have sex with us because he said it was like the Trinity,” said Ms Branciani, referring to the Holy Trinity, a central tenet of Christianity.

This isn’t his first rodeo either. Rupnik started his “spiritual growth” sessions back in the early nineties. Over 20 former nuns have come forwards with claims of abuse, all of which would have surfaced sooner were it not for the fact that the Vatican was quick to cover things up. When he had used up all the victims in his native Slovenia, he was whisked away to Rome where he continued unabated for another 30 years. It helped that Rupnik is a talented artist, which is a rare commodity for a community that is rapidly shrinking.

Why was this guy even a priest? With his bohemian tastes, he should have been making wacky art in a hippie commune somewhere near San Francisco, not the stuffy halls of St. Peter’s Basilica. If you’re into threesomes, there are plenty of places for you to go, but none of them have a big ugly cross in the front.

Just remember kids: if you’re sexual preferences are a little outside the norm, just find like minded people instead of illegally coercing them just to get your rocks off. Why does everything sexual always get all twisted and fucked up when religion is involved?