I often say the Catholic Church is dangerously out of touch with reality. How could they not be; here is an institution that still clings to most of its doctrinal roots dating back fourteen centuries. They are now stuck with one of the worst Popes in recent history, who seems so isolated from reality he can’t even be bothered to notice what everyone is saying about him.

The biggest threat they face are the mounting deaths in Africa due to AIDS. The Papacy’s stance on condoms hasn’t changed since they were first invented; they believe contraception is wrong and condoms encourage promiscuity. Obviously, these guys never used condoms in their lives. Anyone who has put a rubber sheath on their penis will tell you it’s not generally a pleasant experience. It is one, however, that keeps you alive.

No one in the Vatican knows what to do about Ratzinger, who thanks to modern medicine, will probably live for another decade. Already 4 years in, he is regularly engaged in some kind of controversy. One day it’s forgiving a Holocaust denier, the next it’s making inflammatory remarks about Islam. Still, they voted him in knowing full well he used to be a Nazi youth. It also doesn’t help that he needed to be immunized by President Bush from prosecution in the US following the hundreds of child molestation charges for Catholic priests in the US. Ratzinger was in charge of the committee that was supposed to monitor it, and his solution was simply to bury the evidence, convince the families to shut up, and then to transfer the molesters to other towns where they offended again.

That’s your new Pope, folks. Still think the Church knows what it’s doing?