You have to love Christian apologetics. These are the guys who dedicate their lives trying to explain away all the stupid, awful, or just plain terrible stuff from the Bible. The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry is the saddest example of the need many Christians have of a supposedly rational world view. The site dedicates itself to trying to prove the Bible is consistent and truthful, which is about as fruitful as trying to prove  rainbows really DO have a pot of gold on the other side.

Here is CARM’s mandate directly from their website:

Why this site? – To equip Christians with the truth, to expose the error of false religious systems, evolution, to teach apologetics, help Christians defend the faith, and to glorify the Lord Jesus.

They have a section on atheists (which is relatively harmless and amusing), but the crown jewel of the site has to be the gargantuan effort of trying to prove that the story of Noah’s Ark in Genesis was a literal event. The author decides to try and “scientifically” break down the distribution of all the various species to prove it would be possible to hold all these animals on just one boat. It’s like trying to fit an entire bag of marshmallows in your mouth; even if you can do it, who the fuck cares?

I’ll start by telling you that the article, though attempting to be fair, bungles up the numbers right away. The author places the amount of different insects species at about 850,000, which is only off the mark by roughly 6-10 million. He grossly underestimates the amount of mammalian and avian species currently known (ignoring all the ones we actually haven’t discovered yet), and fails to explain something as simple as their “redistribution” after the flood (**note** I wrote that marsupials were found only in Australia, but I was mistaken. They may have originated in Southeast Asia, but the point is still the same).

Of course the most obvious question (other than “are you an idiot, sir?”), is “how did all these wild animals not eat each other? It’s kind of what they do. OK, Mr. Science man, tell us how they did it:

It should also be considered that many animals can hibernate. Additionally, predators and prey have been known to live peacefully together during situations of stress like fire, flood, or earthquake. In the Ark, animal behavior probably would have been different from normal daily life. Specialists in animal behavior have noted that animals can sense danger and have often migrated to escape it. Perhaps God used their migratory instincts to get them to the Ark.

Though this is only a brief analysis, it should present enough evidence that the Ark account is certainly within the realm of possibility.

Replace brief with ridiculous, and we’re in complete agreement, buddy.