Ready for the ultimate in cockteasing annoying bitches, my dear single atheist friends? Well, you can look forward to blue balls and a headache as Tamara trains an army of Christian women to date nonbelievers with the intent of converting them to their particularly idiotic religion.
Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I’m a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don’t know is that I’m hot. My picture below isn’t really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.
Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I’ve outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!
Are you ready for these tips, ladies? We’ll try and ignore the horrible grammar mistakes (judge not, Jacob, lest ye be judged) and focus on the core message here:
1. If he tells your that you are hot…
Tell him God made you hot.2. If he wants to hold your hand…
Give him a Bible.3. If he tries to get closer…
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.4. If he asks to pay for dinner…
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!5. If he reaches his arm around you…
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could “lay hands” on him in prayer)6. If he tries to kiss you…
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you’re not ready to “speak in tongues”)7. If he asks to come inside…
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.8. If he tells you he loves you…
Tell him that Jesus loves him.9. If he gets angry that you won’t put out…
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean “Who would Jesus Do.”10. After you dump him…
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.
Can you imagine dating someone like that?
Hot Atheist Guy: “Why don’t we go back to my house for supper”
Annoying Hot Christian chick: “No thanks, Jesus was betrayed during his last supper”
Is there a tip for what happens when this hot guy you’ve been leading on catches wind of your little plan? Odds are he won’t exactly be cool with you trying to use sex to convert him…
(Update: The website no longer exists)