April 8th is a special day. If we’re lucky enough, some of us in North America will be able to witness something truly special: a solar eclipse. Now, for most of us, this just means that the moon will cover the sun briefly, giving us a spectacular view of the sun’s corona. For others, it means the end of the world.

Some morons think that eclipses have an effect on how you behave. These idiots are called Astrologers, and 2500 years after this shit was debunked, they are still trying to pretend that the shifting and moving of celestial bodies have something to do with your mood. Rarely has there been such a self absorbed philosophy…oh wait, did I forget something? They certainly aren’t the only game in town.

Christianity, not content with making everyone’s life miserable with their constant hardon for apocalyptic rhetoric, isn’t going to miss this opportunity to scare the living shit out of it’s brainwashed believers. The regular rigmarole of dummies are out there, claiming that the eclipse is a sign of the end time. Of course, just about everything that’s out of the ordinary is a sign, but who’s counting? Certainly not the doomsayers, who have been “predicting” the end of the world ever since the invention of their bullshit religion. April 8th is just one more excuse for secretly wishing that everything would end.

Personally, I’m getting pretty sick and tired of these asshats. It’s one thing to pray to an invisible man in the sky. It’s quite another to openly wish for everyone on Earth to be annihilated. In their desire to see evil gone from the world, they also want all the good destroyed as well. They are so convinced of their own dogma that they think this is a good thing.

I wonder if there’s any money to be made from this. Surely all of these end timers who are convinced that the world is ending in a few days have valuables they no longer need. The cynical part of me wonders if an enterprising person might benefit from this never ending array of idiots. Armageddon insurance maybe? A massive betting pool? Surely those who try and perpetuate this ridiculousness deserve to be punished. Some day, I’ll think of something, I swear.