Lawrence Krauss walks out of UCL debate over segregation of sexes

During a scheduled debate between Lawrence Krauss and Muslim apologist Hamza Andreas Tzortzis (he’s the clown I spanked a few days ago over his supposed arguments for God), a fundamentalist group called the “Islamic Education and Research Academy” forced the students to segregate themselves according to their sex. A few students, who had decided not to observe this ridiculous custom, were being ejected for failing to comply with the misogynistic seating arrangements. Single women were being forced to sit in the back (so as not to tempt men who apparently lack any form of self control), despite previous assurances from the organizers that this would not occur.

After his courageous walkout, students were again allowed to sit wherever they wanted, and apart from this disruption, it seems as though the debate went smoothly (despite some objections from culturally backward assholes, that is). Thanks Dr. Krauss for standing up for what you believe in!

Office of Religious Freedom: non-believers don’t matter

As much as we Canadians make fun of Americans (yes, I am a Canuck, people), the truth is that our own country isn’t really that much better when it comes to religious interference in government. With the Conservative party in power, it seems as though they are intent on copying the American model: in other words, they wish to turn this country into a mini-sectarian state in order to please their highly religious base. They’ve tried (rather unsuccessfully I might add) to re-open the abortion debate, until most Canadians flipped out and it was quietly dropped.

Still, it doesn’t mean the government is done trying to spend our valuable tax dollars spinning their wheels for the sake of religion. Enter the newly created “Office of Religious Freedom”, a kind of Orwellian sounding institution with a mandate so foggy, no one is actually sure what the fuck it’s actually supposed to do. Everyone seems to agree, however, that atheists are not invited to the freedom party:

A particularly bizarre media preoccupation was what the ORF would do for atheists. It is an interesting intellectual exercise — like how the minister of sport might serve the aggressively sedentary — but rather beside the point when actual mosques are bombed, or when Christians have to hold midnight Mass in the daytime where it is too dangerous to go to Mass after dark. People are being killed for their faith, Canada’s government is sounding the alarm, and the national media is preoccupied with questions only relevant in the highly secular circles that consider religious liberty akin to the freedom to choose one hobby over another.

In other words, he says if you aren’t into God, you can’t be part of his little reindeer games. Never mind that there are at least 7 countries in the world where being an atheist is a crime punishable by death: Mosques are being bombed, so obviously, non-believers don’t matter! It’s this kind of false dichotomy that makes my blood boil. It’s not as though any non-believers are denying the fact sectarian conflicts occur. In fact, we anticipate they will, given that religions are inherently incompatible with one another and tend to violently disagree about which imaginary friend is the real one.

There’s a pretty strange irony here, to say the least. While the ORF claims its aims are to help protect people who are being persecuted for their religious beliefs, no one seems to be motioning the fact that the persecution is being done primarily by OTHER BELIEVERS! It’s kind of an important point when the purpose of your organization is apparently so focused on religion. Hey, you know what helps people have their own beliefs? Not having the fucking state promoting one particular faith over another!

Religion is playing an increasingly important role in foreign affairs, and the defense of religious liberty will be a critical means for Canada to promote both pluralism and democracy abroad.

Even if that statement were true (which it isn’t), that’s not encouraging. Religion and politics are a dangerous mix, which is why we tend to push so hard to have them separated at all costs. You’ll notice countries where this has occurred have happier, safer citizens than in countries with state sanctioned religions.

Congratulations, Conservative Government, on showing us again why you’re so poorly suited to run this country. Now, if only we could convince all the old farts in this country to stop voting for these assholes, then we’d finally get somewhere.

How to annoy your coworkers, Jesus style

You know what I love? I love it when I’m at the office, and someone vaguely familiar with their religion decides that it’s their duty to try and convert me to whatever bullshit they believe in at the time. Yes, there’s nothing in this world I love more than watching these people squirm when you start asking them questions their priest never really prepared them for. What’s the deal with Jesus and his intense racism? Why did he say he would return before his followers died, only to be a literal no show for over 2000 years?

Of course, most Christians have never met a guy like me. They’re convinced the message of Jesus is so good, that all you need to do is show up with a smile, a Bible, and a friendly “let me tell you about my pal Jesus” and presto, instant Christian.

How else can you explain this rather trite bit of advice on how to witness to coworkers, courtesy of Focus on the Family. The problem is, the act of proselytizing in the age of information is not an easy task. You see, the Internet is filled with annoying things like facts which tend to contradict fairy tales made up by ancient desert nomads.

Let’s examine just how helpful their advice really is, shall we?

1. Believe that God wants to save your co-workers.

In other words, convince yourself that your meddling in other people’s lives is something your imaginary friend wants, no matter how annoyed and angry they might be.

2. Be a good employee.

Does that count not spreading your nonsense bullshit to coworkers who know a lot more about your own stupid religion than you do? Usually, good workers don’t invite conflict by bringing religion in the fucking workplace, but I digress.

3. Think like a missionary.

In other words, be relentless about your message. Even if you’re on vacation, at work, hanging out with friends. Hell, you should even witness to someone peeing next to you in the urinal, because there’s nowhere Christ doesn’t want you to be pimping his totalitarian message, regardless of the general hostility towards it.

4. Fill in the gaps.

That means witnessing to people during what little time they have to take a break and relax from having to listen to annoying people talking to them all day long about shit they don’t really care about.

5. Put the Gospel to work for you.

Do you wonder why you don’t share the Gospel more than you already do? If every word out of your mouth isn’t serving Jesus, what fucking good are you?

6. Don’t forget to actually share the Gospel.

Yeah, don’t forget to read only the parts that you think they will enjoy, like this one from the Gospel of John:

“He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.”

Who isn’t going to listen to a positive, loving message like that, right?

7. Trust God with the results.

You might get a little discouraged as you continue to alienate your coworkers, but fear not, for you must trust, without any evidence whatsoever, that what you are doing is for their benefit. After all, some guy told you that same shit a long time ago before you really knew any better. These people may not have had the chance to have their minds properly shackled to whatever limited ideology you espouse. Poor them!

That’s it folks; all you need to know to spread ignorance, fear, and submission to authority is contained right there. So, what are you supposed to do when someone throws an uncomfortable fact in your face, like the lack of consistency in the Gospels, the provincialism of their supposedly all powerful deity, or even the fact that their God couldn’t even fucking read or write? Trust that the problem lies with you, and not the fact that a bunch of ignorant sheep fuckers felt it was their divine right to slaughter the indigenous people of ancient Palestine. But hey, the stories make you feel all fuzzy and warm inside, so they must be true, right?

Don’t use Pro-Lifers as surrogate mothers, people!

Let me give you a nightmare scenario: because of medical complications, you and your spouse decide to employ a surrogate mother to bring your baby to term. After the massive contract fees and the cost of in vitro fertilization, the pregnancy takes and everything is hunky-dory. For a while. Then, in the 2nd trimester, an ultrasound reveals the baby is having serious development problems. The doctor concludes there is a 75% chance the baby could die at an extremely young age, and an almost 100% certainty that if it survives, it will need to be in the hospital most of its life, having dozens of costly surgeries to repair whatever organs came out all fucked up.

Unfortunately for you, your surrogate is a ‘right to lifer’, and despite your insistence that she terminate the pregnancy, she decides instead to bring it to term. The baby is born with all manner of defects and genetic problems, and now, as the biological parents, the responsibility of caring for the child is entirely up to you, not the surrogate. Sounds like a nightmare situation, right?

Well, unfortunately for a couple in Connecticut, that’s exactly what happened. When the doctor discovered their unborn child would be born with a serious medical condition that would affect her internal organs, her brain, and even her physical features, they desperately offered 10K to the surrogate, which she refused, and instead tried to extort them for an extra 5K (the surrogate claims this was a moment of weakness). Realizing the situation was lost, the couple moved to Michigan, since in Connecticut, they would have been legally obliged to take care of the infant. Michigan state, however, considers the surrogate to be the biological parent.

When the baby was born, it was worse than the doctors had feared. Her myriad medical complications, ranging from a brain disorder where the left and right hemisphere failed to split, to having organs in the wrong places, the baby has to be fed via a tube in her stomach. Doctors estimate there’s a 50% chance she will never walk. Her tiny face also has a serious cleft palate, and her ears are deformed and mostly non-functional. The baby, in other words, will spend the rest of her life in the hospital.

In the end, the baby was given to adoptive parents, with the biological parents making the occasional visit. It’s a nightmare scenario brought to you by the self righteous assholes who think every unborn life is somehow more sacred than living, breathing human beings. These people – who live in a bubble of delusion – think their actions are mandated by God, when in fact their sanctimonious, reality-denying ideals imprison the rest of us to a life devoted to the infirm. How else can you explain the relentless efforts of the right to prevent all forms of abortion, even when the life of the child will undoubtedly be more miserable and painful?

You can check out the surrogate’s sanctimonious blog here

‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ should return…this time for religion

I’ve always found America’s obsession with the military disturbing. First and foremost, it is heavily populated by the poorest, least educated members of society who often have little choice in joining if they hope to have an education, or even a future outside of Walmart. You always hear on TV how much respect they should be given, due to their sacrifice in ‘protecting freedom’. In reality, the military is usually involved in efforts to control strategic resources, and while many of them do make the ultimate sacrifice of their lives, or even their health, as soon as they return home, they are ignored, marginalized, and forced to go back to the job market without the ability to export their new-found skills to the private sector. To make matters even worse, the military is slowly becoming a Fundamentalist stronghold. Ever since 9/11, recruitment efforts have been underway, as well as attempts to marginalize officers that do not fall in line.

According to a terrifying report released by the Center For Inquiry that details the ways America’s military force is slowly being Evangelized, the situation is only getting worse. According to the author of the report, James Parco – a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel, things are looking grim:

If this problem persists,” he continues, “members of the military will continue to face hostility and indoctrination, and the U.S. government will continue to experience public relations problems in future military missions. If it is addressed, the U.S. military could become a neutral and safe space for members of all religious backgrounds, and none at all, and the image of the America, as seen through its military forces abroad, could change from one of Christianity to one of a diverse people united for liberty and justice for all.”

America has an addiction to War. It’s why every struggle, regardless of what it is, will be called a ‘war’ on something: The War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, the War on Terror. All of these are rather telling abstractions that provide a window into America’s soul.

Now the article does make some suggestions for improving the situations, and I’m sure like most recommendations, it will fall to the wayside. The real problem, however, is the fact Americans are crack-addicts when it comes to conflict. How else can you explain the actions of a debt riddled country continuing to spend 700 billion dollars on weapons of war to fight an non-existent enemy? This is the same country which would reduce grants for education, money for food stamps, and welfare for the poor in order to build more cluster-bombs. If that doesn’t give you a clue to how fucked you are, I don’t know what will.

Who wants to fund a monument to ignorance?

Remember last year when I put up Bible Stories on Kickstarter? I remember being nervous that I would have to live down the embarrassment of failing to attract enough potential buyers for the book. That’s why I tried to come up with a conservative estimate of how many people would buy it. Luckily, it ended up being a huge success (after an initial moment of sheer panic when we moved the campaign to Indiegogo). Unfortunately, funding is proving elusive to these clowns, who decided the best place to seek a million and a half dollars worth of funding for a Biblical themed animal reserve would be online. Called Hidden Ark, the only thing that seems to evade detection is any real interest on the part of the online community, but I digress.

The project – which has already begun – looks like the kind of epic boondoggle that is likely to lead to many bankruptcies, broken dreams, and a gigantic piece of construction slowly rotting in the sun. It could be that their sales pitch, mainly that donating to their stupid cause somehow proves God is real, isn’t striking the right chord online. Let’s face it: the Internet is dominated by non-believers. Sure, religious folks like to post up their garbage, but the problem is their nonsense gets drowned out in the sea of other similar bullshit. How can you tell whether Jesus, Zoroaster, or Buddha are the real deal if each one makes the same baseless claims?

After 2 weeks of solid campaigning, they’ve managed to wrangle an incredible $214 through 14 backers. With only 47 days to go, it means they only need to average around 31K a day in to achieve their goal. So doable! All they need to do is prove the story of Noah’s Ark – a tale ripped from the ancient Assyrians and Sumarians – actually happened, and I’m sure they’ll have no trouble convincing the rest of us the diversity of life on earth was preserved by a 500 year old drunk and his family.

(Update: The campaign ended up only raising 1k of the 2 million they needed)

So close, yet so far away

Mother Nature can be a cruel, nasty bitch. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, volcanoes, asteroids; honestly, I could spend the whole day listing the many ways humans can be crushed, burned, drowned, blown away, or fall to their deaths. When these kinds of senseless tragedies occur (well, senseless to us as natural forces interact), people who still cling to Bronze Age beliefs can often find themselves wondering: if there is a God, what’s the deal with all this horrible shit that happens?

Enter the apologist*. His job is to convince you that your Omniscient deity, the one who supposedly is controlling this thing, isn’t the one who set in motion the long series of events that lead to your loved one’s demise. So, how do you square the round peg of religion? Why, you smash it with the hammer of faith, of course!

In short, it says that God is a god who apparently delights in suffering. It says that God is the sort of god who sends drunk drivers to kill babies, who burns down people’s homes, and afflicts random people with horrendous diseases like cancer.

Regardless of any potential “reason” such a god would choose to does this [sic] things, if indeed God had a hand in intentionally causing them to occur, then that God is not the God of the Bible.

That God is not worthy of worship.

That God is evil.

How is that not the God of the Bible? I’ve read the thing, and if he isn’t sending fire down from the sky to punish exiled Jews for complaining, he’s fucking over the Jews for not following his confusing and contradictory laws. While there are a few passages that allude to him being ‘love’ and other such nonsense, simply reading what the character does throughout the Bible gives one a pretty clear understanding of the kind of deity Yahweh is. This whole ‘God is love’ shit is merely the pressures of modern civility and ethics applied to an ancient death cult.

But there was no grander narrative behind these moments, no deeper meaning to be discovered if we simply read the signs correctly. They happened and there was a reason behind their happening, but that reason was mundane, not divine.

In other words, these things were not part of God’s plan.

Oh, so when shitty things happen, this wasn’t part of God’s plan, but when good things happen, everyone is supposed to fall on their knees and thank this supposed all powerful entity? Here’s the thing about ‘omnipotence’: everything is your plan. The spark that created the universe, the enzymes that formed the first lifeforms, and the actions of his creation would necessarily have to be part of it as well. See, omnipotence is one of those funny words that puts God in a bit of a corner: it implies that everything, both good and bad, are his domain. He’s not struggling, Zoroastrian style, with an equally powerful evil version of himself. No, evil is as much a part of omnipotence as good, and the two cannot be separated.

God’s plan is that one day He will make His dwelling place among His people to dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be among them and be their God.

So what the fuck is he waiting for if the world is broken and full of suffering? Seems like his followers have been waiting awhile in confused silence while they try to reconcile the cruelty of nature with their dogma of a loving God. Of course, all of this suffering and evil can be easily explained when you aren’t married to a fantasy that requires you to live a life of cognitive dissonance. Here’s an idea for you: there’s no one at the wheel, and there never was.

*(Update: The article no longer exists, and was never archived)

Neil deGrasse Tyson on Intelligent Design

Here’s an old presentation from Neil some of you may not have seen yet. In the talk, Neil discusses the history of Intelligent Design, and why it still persists in society. While I’ve always liked Neil, and I’m fascinated by his idea that we should carefully study why some scientists are religious, I think at the end of the day, the answer will be quite dull and not very informative: mainly that when you’re convinced from a young age God is real, it’s not easy to let the idea go.

As for the rest of his treatise – that scientific revolutions are stopped dead in their tracks whenever religion comes around – it makes me wonder why he hasn’t taken a stronger stance AGAINST religion. He’s repeatedly refused to identify himself as an atheist, without realizing that coming out of the ‘closet’ would have strong reverberations in the intellectual scene in the country. It’s a shame, especially when he seems to understand just how dangerous religions are to science.

Hurricane Sandy relief to violate Establishment Clause

It’s no small irony that when Republicans talk about smaller government, this same crippled beast seems to have no problems handing gobs of cash to institutions they have no business helping. Take the recent appropriation of 60 billion dollars for Hurricane Sandy. The Republican controlled House has voted to allow some of the money to be used to rebuild houses of worship, a clear violation of the Establishment Clause of the Constitution.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is asking their fellow atheists to contact their Senators today to prevent this disaster from becoming a law. Of course, the cynical side of me thinks this is all a giant waste of time, and the quagmire of American politics makes it impossible for rational and helpful legislation to go through, so perhaps the same tactic can be used to stop the government from forking over money that should be spent on rebuilding people’s homes, rather than the places that typically siphon all their fucking money away.

Consider this: while a non-profit can also apply for a grant if their property was damaged, at least these organizations have some degree of accountability. We can see where the money goes. That’s not true of religions. They get a free pass to spend their money any way they want, and trust me when I say there isn’t one of these places that isn’t swimming in corruption. The system practically invites it!

Is this what getting owned by a Muslim looks like?

This video, hilariously titled “Dan Barker gets OWNED by Muslim Hamza Tzortzis”, showcases perfectly the kind of pathetic, nonsense arguments you get into when talking to these apologists. Tellingly, the video does not offer a chance for Barker to reply, so I thought I might do him that solid. Let’s take a look at his argument, shall we?

Asinine Assumption #1: We know God exists, so arguments for God isn’t “God in the Gaps”

Buying into a belief system doesn’t make it true. For something to be “proven”, it needs to pass a number of rigorous tests. The first, and most important, is falsifiability: the ability for an idea to be disproved. This is perhaps the most difficult concept for god-pimps like Hamza to understand. In their limited world view, they simply accept, with no real evidence, that their all powerful creator simply exists and his very nature defies all attempts to categorize him. Such a conceit must be rejected immediately without effort: extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and a book inspired by an illiterate child rapist fails to impress.

Asinine Assumption #2: The specific wording of your God matters

When this guy starts blabbing on about how the word ‘the’ in ‘the merciful’ must inherently mean that God is superior to human beings, I just have to shake my head in profound disbelief at the childish nature of this kind of thinking. What the fuck does that prove?

Asinine Assumption #3: Islam invites differences of opinions, considers these a ‘mercy’

Either he’s deliberately being deceitful, or he’s decided to ignore the fact that Islam is still fighting its own theology with other variations of the faith. There has been very little ‘mercy’ in the way Sunni treat Shia, or Shia treat Sunni. And let’s not forget the efforts of the Taliban to destroy the cultural heritages of other faiths. Clearly, he’s in the minority opinion that his religion invites diversity.

Asinine Assumption #4: The Qur’an is a scientific book

This is a common trope of all religions: they claim their obscurist, vague book describes in detail real scientific phenomenon that would have been impossible for desert people to know. For instance, did you know that

1. Humans were created out of a clot of blood.
2. The Sun revolves around the Earth.
3. The Moon is further away than the stars.
4. Your sperm is produced in your spine.
5. Bees eat fruit, not pollen!
6. Birds fly because god wills it.
7. Mohammad flew into the heavens on a winged horse called Buraq.
8. Fresh water and salt water cannot mix.

Need I go on?

Asinine Assumption #5: We believe things based on testimony

If there’s one thing you can rely on, it’s the fact that human beings are the worst, least trustworthy witnesses around. Not only is memory a total wash: it’s notorious for fabricating things. In science, we actually plan for the human element, doing our best to take ourselves as much out of the equation as possible. The idea that knowledge is based on testimony is a religious idea, not a modern one.

Asinine Assumption #6: Islam has no problem with non-believers or apostates

The classic mistake most of these religious apologists make is that they assume their liberal interpretation of their religion is shared by others. That’s simply untrue. The fact remains the vast majority of Muslims do believe non-believers are doomed to hell, and apostasy is a crime punishable by death. Several Muslim countries have these laws in the books, and only international pressure has allowed the stay of executions for unlucky individuals who dare question the ‘truth’ of Islam.

Sorry, I’m a little confused now…who exactly got OWNED here?

Mother Teresa confirmed as giant, twisted person

How ahead of his time was Christopher Hitchens? Well, when he released his book, The Missionary Position in 1995, the notion that Mother Teresa was anything less than a saint was believed by the entire world. Even after his follow-up documentary, Hell’s Angel, it still seemed as though her reputation as a do-gooder would never truly be tarnished.

Slowly, over time, her insanity and cruelty has been exposed. In fact, a new Canadian study by the University of Montreal is shedding even more light on Teresa and her grim institution, appropriately called “Homes for the Dying”. These are squalid hellholes, with little to no hygiene, no pain medication, or even food. This was contrasted by her own medical care in American hospitals, where she enjoyed only the finest treatments available at the time.

All of these facts have been available to the rest of the world for a long time, but I suppose every once in a while, old information becomes new again. In this case, it’s how twisted and cruel this evil little dwarf was. With hundreds of millions of dollars wasted on these torture houses, one researcher thinks some good can still come out of all of this:

Larivee however signs off on a surprisingly positive note and says there could also be a positive effect of the Mother Teresa myth. “If the extraordinary image of Mother Teresa conveyed in the collective imagination has encouraged humanitarian initiatives that are genuinely engaged with those crushed by poverty, we can only rejoice,” they signed off.

I think the net result of Mother Teresa’s existence has been more suffering, more ignorance, more death and pain than would have otherwise have occurred if the old bitch had been run over by a bus in her youth. The fact that any delusional religious rube still quotes her as an example of charity truly cheapens the very meaning of the word. We would have all been better off without her.

Kirk Cameron wants to open your mind…to nonsense

Are you having trouble evangelizing to people who seem to know more about the Bible than you do? Don’t worry, child actor Kirk Cameron has the solution for you. He’s re-posted an old article from his master entitled “How to Witness to a Closed-Minded Person“. As you may have guessed, it’s about as compelling as an episode of The View. Here’s his advice for how to talk to people who think God and his magical play-land are bogus as shit:

I simply say, “I know that you don’t believe in those things, but if Heaven does exist, will you make it in — are you a good person?” The word “if” is the key that will unlock the door. I deliberately emphasize it as I say it, because it’s non-threatening.

“If God was to judge you by the Ten Commandments on Judgment Day, would you be innocent or guilty?” What he is hearing isn’t exactly what he wants to hear, but the accusations of guilt aren’t coming from without. They are coming from within his own heart, and that has the effect of stopping his mouth of justification, and helping him see that he has sinned against God.

I love how Christians think the 10 Commandments are some kind of incredible moral achievement. There really are only two laws that make any sense to us today – the provisions not to steal and not to murder – but even these two so-called laws have exceptions: if someone is trying to kill you, we have no objections to lethal force, nor do we have a huge problem with starving people occasionally stealing a loaf of bread. See, our legal framework, which we’ve spent decades refining, wasn’t written by some asshole on a mountain. So, failing to properly obey the Sabbath, coveting your neighbor’s possessions, or saying an offhand “Jesus Christ!” isn’t even on our fucking radar in terms of immorality, nor should it be. I don’t recall the Commandments speaking against rape, torture, genocide, infanticide, sectarian conflict, or even forcibly taking the property of others. In fact, all of these behaviors are actually ENDORSED by the Bible!

We live among a hedonistic generation that drinks iniquity like water. Nothing else matters except quenching the thirst for sex, porn, parties and pleasure. As the Scriptures say, “God is not in their thoughts.” However, a biblical presentation of the gospel injects God into his thoughts and makes him think seriously about his own eternal salvation.

We live in such a hedonistic time that selfish little god-haters are spending their time trying to improve the world and make it less ignorant. Your Biblical God, the same genocidal maniac who commanded his chosen people to smash little babies against rocks, is most definitely NOT in our thoughts, and there’s nothing in your little book of fairy tales that even comes close to making salient points about morality in these modern times.

Now if you were expecting any other arguments from this failed actor, I’m sorry to disappoint: it seems the only trick Ray has learned is to try and make people feel like guilty pieces of shit before offering them the olive branch of his little provincial deity, who fears ‘salvation’ for unquestioning belief, and eternal damnation for healthy doubt. What a swell guy! Tell me again how this megalomaniacal, murderous God loves me. I just can’t hear enough.

The Earth is truly awesome

If there’s one thing that seems fairly universal, it’s the fact that going into outer-space changes you forever. Just listen to the testimonials of all these astronauts and tell me that the humbling experience of hovering over the Earth isn’t a life altering experience. Seriously, I think every human being should be given the chance to feel as infinitely small as possible, if only to grasp the true scope of the Universe.