I have an admiration for train wrecks, and I can’t imagine a greater tragedy than this rap video tastefully titled “Jesus is my Nigga”. It’s appropriately sung by a bunch of out-of-touch white dudes with very limited musical skills. Luckily, the whole thing is such a complete mess that it winds up being entertaining in the end. Still, I want to know: was there not some moment where a young person took these grandpas to the side and told them how insanely bad this idea was? Did everyone hope this would lead people towards their sadistic death cult or something?
Author Archives: Jacob Fortin
Rated “O” for Offensive as hell
What do you get when you combine shitty inspirational synth music with a bigoted, ignorant Christian teenage girl? You get the ironically titled “Rated T for Tolerance”, a strange Orwellian name that belies their own contorted views of reality.
Now some of you might think that this video falls under “Poe’s Law”, but as I’ve said in the past, when it’s impossible to tell the difference, what does it matter? She’s representing the views of millions of assholes, so as far as I’m concerned, she’s in their ranks.
Steven Pinker: How Violence has Declined
If you’ve listened to my shows recently, you know how big a fan of Pinker I am, including his most brilliant work “The Better Angels of our Nature: Why Violence has Declined”. If you haven’t read this lengthy beast, this talk actually covers the basics really well. A must listen!
Pink Swastika author Scott Lively charged
If you don’t know who Scott Lively is, he’s the monster who authored The Pink Swastika, a book I’ve derided in the past for its pseudo-historical claim that Nazis were a secret gay organization intent on destroying heterosexuality. It ranks about as high as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion in terms of historical verisimilitude.
In March of 2009, Scott and a posse of other Evangelical Christians traveled to Uganda, and gave a series a talks about ‘the gay agenda’. They covered the typical tropes, such as baseless accusations of gays sodomizing teenage boys, therapies to covert them back to being straight, and said gays had an evil social agenda. The conference was widely attended, and a few months later, helped inspire Uganda’s ‘Kill the Gays Bill’.
Since March 2012, a group called Sexual Minorities Uganda sued Lively under the Alien Tort Statute (which allows U.S. courts to hear human-rights cases brought by foreign citizens for conduct committed outside the United States) In this case, individuals claiming that Scott’s hateful rhetoric has caused the suffering and death of countless individuals. Pepe Julian Onziema, the Advocacy and Policy Officer at Sexual Minorities Uganda, had this to say:
Coming face to face with the man who has caused us so much pain is important to me. We want him held accountable for the escalating homophobia and persecution in Uganda. This case is about making it clear to people who have exported their hate agenda to Uganda that their actions have a very real effect on us and they must stop.
A federal judge is now reviewing his motion to dismiss the case.
While he claims he has only the best intentions for gays (believing they need to be cured of their condition), he continues to try and blame every conceivable calamity on them. He’s recently accused gays of causing the “great Flood that supposedly brought humanity once again to an evolutionary bottleneck no species could survive (it’s called “minimum viable population sizes, and trust me, that number isn’t 5 people), hinting another may come if we continue to give gays the same rights as everyone else.
So, is it hate speech or not?
This woman is in serious danger
A few months ago I wrote about a major scam called “Advanced Cell Training”. As the bullshit name implies, this pseudo-scientific claptrap purports to heal without the use of antibiotics or other medicine. While the specifics of this escape me (since I refuse to give these scammers even one penny), there is no doubt that encouraging people with serious illnesses – like Lyme Disease – that antibiotics are not needed is the height of criminality. How these people are not in jail for false medical claims is beyond me.
Here’s a perfect example to illustrate my point: a comment I received concerning an article I wrote a little while back
I will AGAIN BEG TO DIFFER FROM ALL OF YOU SCEPTICS!!!!
This program Advanced Cell Training ,,,,,has saved my Life!!!!!!! I have SUFFERED from severe shortness of breath,, to where I have to leave events ,, due to basically ,,just not getting AIR!!! AIR HUNGER,,,,, From LYME DISEASE,, WHICH BROKE OUT INTO BABESIA,,,, causing Horrible Shortness of Breath …. Since 2008,,,, !,
ACT,, has saved my life! I am out of bed, going to events, working, and the best part ,,,is SINGING to a song on the radio in the car>>>which one can’t do ,,, due to no AIR!!! I went to 5 different Pulmonary Docs,,, 6 different inhalers,,, NONE WORKED!! I was finally diagnosed with Lyme Disease less than a year ago!
Gary Blier,, and ACT,,, IS NOT A SCAM!! I was in suicide condition,,,,,, due to such bad shortness of breath!!!!
So to all you HATERS AND NON BELIEVERS ,,,,, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!!!!! ….. Anyone that bashes this is a IGNORAMOUS….. THIS IS NO JOKE, SCAM, !!!! TO ALL THAT WANT THERE LIFE BACK,,, DUE TO LYME DISEASE,, I URGE YOU TO AT LEAST CHECK INTO THIS!! REG Doctors and Antibiotics do NOT CURE LYME DISEASE!!!!
Now, if this woman was fortunate enough to get fully treated for her illness, then the symptoms she suffered after the disease disappear (depression, fatigue, and neurocognitive difficulties), is actually expected. While scientists aren’t quite sure why these symptoms manifest themselves, the real danger in the disease is how long it goes untreated. A person who decides to forgo treatment, or end it prematurely, puts their health in serious jeopardy. Over time, it seems as though these symptoms naturally disappear, so what could be better than pretending to have a technique to help alleviate things that are notoriously hard to measure.
Her objections to our skepticism is also quite telling: exclamation marks and Caps Lock litter the screen, which in her mind must constitute some form of proof (you’ll notice that unskeptical idiots think passion is a substitute for facts). We’re supposed to trust her anecdotal evidence as proof meditation cures diseases, but that’s not the way things work. Feel sorry for us do you? I’m not the one risking my life with crazy nonsense, lady.
Please take your medication, buddy
There are a few articles on TGA that invariably attract the kinds of crazy comments that have to be read to be believed. Sometimes you have to spend some time trying to decipher through their insanity, and attempt to understand exactly what these deranged individuals are trying to communicate. This recent comment seems especially difficult to make out (which I haven’t altered in any way):
Clearly The Science Has Become A Religion On Its On And Facts Is Its Bible.
Science Spends Alot Of Time Trying To Prove The Bible Wrong Instead Of Trying To Prove It Right.
The Bible Is A History Book And We Cant Rewrite History. We Cant Add Something New To It.
Its Like We All Try To Find Something To Dissagree About.
Why Cant We Find A Common Balance. Stop Placing Ourselves In Groups, They Tear Us Apart.
Find A Constant, Something We Can All Agree On. Cause I Think That’s What This Movie Is Actually About.
Even Atheists Have Their Beliefs,
They Believe Something Caused All This And That May Not Be God But That Cause Is The Constant That We Seek.
Hence We Should Build From That Not Completely Tear Down.
Cause As Christians That Doesn’t Make Us Very Good In God’s Eyes When We Destroy And As Scientists We Live To Better The World But What Good Is It To Kill The Hope That’s Governing Your Friends Life, Maybe Even Keeping Them Alive.
We Are Only As Strong As Our Weakest Link.
We Should Looking For A Bond Not A Broken Bridge…!!i!
So, the Bible is history, and every scientist’s job is to try and prove the Bible is right. Well, that’s easy: all you need to do is ignore everything we know about biology, paleontology, geology, genetics, astronomy, astrophysics, physics, and just about every other scientific discipline that’s decimated the ludicrous claims of the Bible. I’ll bet getting a degree in pseudoscience is real easy and cheap!
As for the accusation that it’s better to believe in a comforting lie than the hard truth (something I’ve heard endlessly), I’d like to point out that human beings are resilient creatures, and we can come to accept the truth no matter how tough it is. In fact, doing so builds fucking character. It’s the people who believe in what’s comforting who lack courage, and if someone is so weak as to be holding onto life only through religion, then I would venture to guess this sheltered individual is fragile precisely because they have never learned to face the truth.
Besides, reality isn’t all that bad. It’s composed of billions of galaxies, each with billions of stars. It’s filled with black holes and quasars, planets and asteroids; so much to discover that one could get lost for eternity trying to find all the answers to the mysteries of life. All you can offer is a tired old tale of a dead Jew and his entourage. Boring!
String of atheism signs vandalized, no real action taken
I know many of you out there think making holiday displays and fighting to have them displayed is a waste of time, but with the recent strings of vandalism against our property, not to mention the ridiculous reasons given by city officials for rejecting these banners helps highlight the fact that atheists are still a vilified and abused minority.
This echos a report by the International Humanist and Ethical Union which confirmed what many of us have been saying for years: atheists worldwide are being persecuted and discriminated against. While Islamic countries were the worst offenders – beating, jailing and even killing non-believers – it also showed that in Europe and the United States, atheists are treated as outsiders (apparently Arkansas has a law that forbids an atheist from being a witness at a trial, supposedly because we “can’t be trusted”), while religious people are given preferential treatment, or even government positions based on their faith (like the house of Lords in England). Imagine if these kinds of laws existed for other minorities. There would be public outrage over such open discrimination.
This is why holiday signs are so important: they provide an opportunity to directly display Christian privilege and overt atheist discrimination. So far, atheist billboards have been vandalized or defaced in Virginia, Pennsylvania (where the vandals’ identity is known, but no action has been taken), New Jersey (where a city councilman encouraged its theft, promising to turn the other cheek), and Michigan. These actions, and the subsequent inaction of government officials, is exactly the kind of proof we need to illustrate just how pervasive this discrimination is. So while you may not like an “in yo face” style of activism, we find ourselves living in a world where silence and complacency are just as evil as the persecution we so often face.
That reminds me: I never showcased my own contribution to the atheism billboard effort this holiday season. Thank you Rimon Bar (who helped color my book cover) for helping out. Enjoy!
Catholic Priest blames women for bringing violence on themselves
Do I even need to continue to speak out against religion? Seems like these days, these guys are doing a better job convincing Catholics to leave in droves than I ever could, and all they need to do is speak openly about their shitty beliefs. Take the words of Father Piero Corsi, who during his Christmas address to his Italian congregation thought it would be the perfect time to accuse abused women of bringing violence and abuse on themselves for dressing immodestly and not doing enough housework. Here’s a sample from his pamphlet:
“How often do we see girls and mature women going around scantily dressed and in provocative clothes?” Piero Corsi said in a Christmas message posted on the door of his church in the small town of San Terenzio in northwest Italy.
“They provoke the worst instincts, which end in violence or sexual abuse. They should search their consciences and ask: did we bring this on ourselves?” it read.
See ladies? It’s your fault if your trusted male friend drugged and raped you (most sexual assaults are by people you know, sadly enough), because you were dressed in a miniskirt and didn’t do any housework, and we all know that’s an invitation for sexual abuse, girls! Why else would you wear it if not to provoke our pulsating male urges, which apparently are uncontrollable and totally not our fault?
Luckily, the whole town is rather shocked by his views, with the bishop even condemning him. For what, though? If one takes the Bible literally, it does seem to indicate that a) women are property, b) the crime for raping a woman is marrying her and paying off her father, and c) they should shut the fuck up and not hang around when they are on the rag.
Seems to me like Corsi actually believes the shit the Bible says. Everyone who acts surprised or shocked has obviously never read the book, have they? Remember, this is the same book that demands a woman be stoned to death because she was raped and didn’t scream loud enough to alert anyone.
Dutch Catholics desperate to jump ship after Pope speech
The world is changing, but this isn’t a fact that pleases the Catholic Church too much. Concerned their ability to dictate the lives of their fellow human beings is waning, the Pope recently addressed his fellow Catholics to wish them a joyous Christmas, and attempted to convince the world that two dudes trying to marry one another was a threat to world peace, and goes against nature (kind of like celibacy, maybe?).
“People dispute the idea that they have a nature, given to them by their bodily identity, that serves as a defining element of the human being,” he said at the Vatican on Friday. “They deny their nature and decide that it is not something previously given to them, but that they make it for themselves.”
His hateful words have helped inspire thousands of Dutch Catholics to jump ship as a result. Unsure how to remove themselves from a roster which claims your immortal soul, their research typically leads them to this site, www.ontdopen.nl* where they can petition to have their names removed (whether or not this is done is impossible to tell). His site traffic jumped from a paltry 10 a day to over 10k, although it’s impossible to tell how many of these people actually bothered to do so (doesn’t seem like the webmaster can keep track). Considering the Netherlands was the first country to legalize gay marriage, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Dutch don’t share the Pope’s poisonous ideals.
Thank you Pope Benedict XVI for making my job easier.
*(Update: The site is no longer in operation)
Letter to a passive aggressive religious douche
What do you do when your copy of Penn Jillette’s “Every Day is an Atheist Holiday” gets defaced by a religious prick co-worker? Well, you write them a letter letting them know how shitty a person they are!
An open letter to the passive-aggressive, sanctimonious jerk who defaced my private property:
To begin, the mere assumption that I am an atheist because I read a book with the same word in the title is a dangerous prospect. With that reasoning, I am also a zombie superhero demi-god. Which I am not. However, you did guess correctly, I am an atheist, so, bully for you.
Now, more to the point of what and why you did that which you did. Your beliefs seems to be that my lack of religion is based on a simple lack of exposure. Allow me to squash this notion quickly. I was raised in a Christian household, went to Sunday School and church services every week, and even would read the Bible for fun.
And the cornerstone of that upbringing was my mother. Through DECADES of abuse and neglect, she turned to God. Her strength, poise, and quiet dignity would serve to inspire anyone, even boorish zealots like you.
My decision was based on distilling my life experiences, reading scores of books, quiet reflection and boisterous debate. It was not easy or cavalier. Yet in the end, I was called to follow my nature. So, if you’re still reading. Fuck off.
Nice.
UK still afraid of free speech
There’s no denying it: the UK is afraid of free speech. With their ridiculous libel laws, scientists are routinely brought to trial for exposing quacks and frauds. Ben Goldacre, author of the book Bad Science has spent a considerable amount of his own money defending himself from England’s ridiculous legal system. While the country claims to give its citizens freedom of speech, in reality their rights are ‘negative’, meaning the government simply doesn’t prosecute speech, unless of course it includes the following:
1. Threatening, abusive, or insulting speech
2. Behavior likely to cause a breach of the peace
3. Incitement, incitement to racial hatred, incitement to religious hatred
4. Incitement to terrorism, encouragement of terrorism and dissemination of terrorist publications or even glorifying terrorism, collection or possession of information likely to be of use to a terrorist [whatever the fuck that means]
5. Treason including imagining the death of the monarch [don’t use your imagination in England]
6. Sedition [speech critical of government or other institutions]
7. Obscenity, indecency including corruption of public morals and outraging public decency,[So they would still jail Socrates I guess]
8. Defamation,[basically calling quacks out on their shit]
There’s also a bunch of other stuff related to court proceedings, but I think you get the gist of what I’m saying. I haven’t even included Blasphemy Laws in this whole mess. Why bother when it should already be patently clear that free speech is a misnomer in the UK. You’re free not to offend or defame anyone, and that’s about it.
A perfect example of their cowardice is the arrest and trial of Peter Crawford, who decided to express his outrage at Islam by showing up at an information kiosk and ripping his own copy of the Qur’an, finally throwing it on the ground yelling “your religion is bullshit”. Naturally, nearby Muslims were in shock that other people on this planet could give a fucking rat’s ass about their shitty book, but this was enough to arrest him and send him to court to waste everyone’s precious time and resources defending a religion that can’t seem to defend itself.
He is on trial at Leicester Crown Court accused of causing religiously aggravated intentional harassment, alarm or distress, by demonstrating hostility based on membership of a particular religious group, Islam. He denies the charge.
How is ripping the pages of a fucking book causing distress to anyone? Perhaps their inflated sense of righteousness is actually to blame here: no one who claims to possess the sole truth about the Universe would react so strongly to any challenge unless they felt somewhat insecure about their beliefs. It cannot be easy defending the indefensible, but that does not mean we should warrant jailing or prosecuting individuals simply for having ‘hurt’ the feelings of people highly invested in nonsense.
Mr Quyyum agreed that apart from a hand gesture – which Mr Newcombe suggested was the pointing of a finger rather than a gun gesture – the defendant did not threaten or provoke any violence.
So why then is anyone bothering to bring him to ‘justice’? Because he dared to insult the feelings of Muslims by showing zero respect for their holy book? Good. Any book that encourages its readers to kill anyone who does not share their ideology deserves as much. The fact the government has to employ its legislative powers in an attempt to save face for these religious ass-hats is hat so shocking. it amounts to the government suppressing dissent, a clear sign of intellectual cowardice and moral bankruptcy. Thank you for showing us the wrong way to handle free speech, guys.
Who needs a lab when you have a green screen?
You know what’s great about being an ‘Intelligent Design’ scientist? You get to save all of the money you would normally be spending on electron microscopes, computers, DNA sequencing machines or a host of other expensive equipment. Why bother to invest in technology when your premise is the world of make-believe is more real than the physical one? The only ‘equipment’ you need is a lab coat, a Bible, and a green screen to allow your ‘scientists’ to appear credible when being interviewed by other creationists Intelligent Design advocates.
Of course, if you are going to try the whole ‘credibility’ angle, there is a slight chance that the Internet will totally call you up on your ridiculous bullshit. So when the Discovery Institute (an organization whose only discovery is how gullible Americans are) was filming a segment for their ongoing series of ludicrous videos denying gravity evolution, they thought it would be a good idea to have their ‘scientist’ sitting in lab. The only problem being the Discovery institute doesn’t have any such facility. Instead, they opted to green screen that shit with an image they found at Shutterstock. Not exactly their most brilliant move (but pretty close).
Can you believe this guy?
I don’t often get trolled, but when I do, it’s usually something epic. Take this “Marcus” character for instance: he commented on an article I wrote about a ridiculous book written called The Pink Swastika, by a religious fundy who claims Hitler and his thugs were actually a gang of ‘homofascists’, intent on corrupting the world with their ‘gayness’. This revisionist history completely ignores the fact that some 100,000 gay men and women were executed in concentration camps, although I’m sure such a shitty historian probably doubts the reality of Hitler’s Final Solution as well.
I’ll let Marcus explain why this piece of shit book isn’t a total fabrication:
The Southern Poverty Law Center IS a hate group. Hitler’s Brown shirts were exclusively homosexual. You fascist neopagans only attack the religious to divert attention from the fact that you share Hitler’s Marxist views. Nothing you say can erase Hitler’s own words and policies. Just because Hitler was a national socialist instead of being a communist doesn’t change the fact that he persecuted Christians, Jews, the elderly, the deaf etc. long before the Night of the Long Knives and that he used tactics now seen in Occupy and the public sector unions and the Nazi party in NY and CA, which are groups populated primarily by angry queers. The fact is, Hitler persecuted the Jews and Christians because of their objective views on morality, views which stand contrary to post modernism, subjective morality and savage pre-enlightenment practices such as euthanasia, eugenics and the final solution to the human condition- industrialized mass murder. Ya’ll are accusing the majority of being secret Nazis when your Nazi buddies are in public view, announcing their views which mirror your own. No wonder you try to convince yourselves of lies on [sic] teh interwebs when your entire “worldviews” are wrapped up in a lie so contradictory to the truth. Your tiny socialist brains can’t handle your hypocrisy.
The Southern Poverty Law Center, in case you were wondering, is an organization that’s been fighting white supremacists and anti-gay hate groups since 1971. Calling them a hate group is like calling the Red Cross an invading army.
Now, if you’re trying to make any sense of the rest, there’s something fundamentally important you have to consider: the American right thinks communism is fascism. The confusion has multiple sources: first, it seems as though most Americans are unfamiliar with their own respective political spectrum. They are also seemingly confused by the fact that Hitler’s political party had the word ‘Socialist’ in it.
As for this strange tactic that the ‘Occupy’ movement was somehow inspired by Hitler, it would do well for this uneducated moron to read a little history: Fascism is in fact anti-union, and believes a strong relationship between government and business leaders is necessary in order to achieve self-sustainability and to ensure that businesses maintain a high degree of profitability. Fascism rejects individuality and favors a strong national identity. Adherents are unquestioningly patriotic (sound familiar?), and view violence as a means of preserving their national vitality (kinda like sending drones to kill civilians, no?).
Of course it’s not difficult to imagine that this Marcus fellow is an angry, bigoted man with zero understanding of history or political movements. But he also represents the new face of American Fascism: one that is unaware of its own identity, blinded by a conflation of terms and ideologies, and motivated primarily by the same forces that inspired those brown-shirts to mold the world in their terrifying image. When Sinclair Lewis said when fascism came to America, it would be “wrapped up in the American flag and heralded as a plea for liberty and preservation of the constitution”, he failed to understand the ones carrying that flag would be totally unaware of the consequences and significance of their own actions. Driven primarily by their own hatred of others, American Fascists are in denial about themselves. They accuse others of being communists for even the slightest hint of socialism, and then do everything in their power to hand over the keys to their country to the rich Oligarchy, promising them Christianity and the repression of homosexuals. If that doesn’t sound at all familiar to you guys, then I suggest you hit the library. Clearly, Marcus never has.
Charlton Heston freaks your kids out
Working on the Bible Stories book has made me realize it’s categorically impossible to gloss the horror out of these stories. The proof? Just watch this kid’s Bible cartoon, and just how creepy it is. For the love of their provincial god Yahweh, they wrote a song about Isaac being bound up and prepared to be killed for some imaginary friend. Yeah, I’d imagine a kid having some pretty serious nightmare and trust issues after watching that horror unfold.
God is a shitty provider
What’s better than a bunch of white, middle class yahoos singing rap lyrics? How about a rap about how God needs you to give him 10 percent of your income, even if it means not buying your groceries or paying your rent?
“Before I buy groceries or pay the rent,
I’ve got to give God his full 10 percent,
He gives me a Hundred and I give him back ten
and I’m blessed all day from beginning to end
Why does God need money, you ask? Well, apparently the ‘great provider’ has a serious problem balancing his checkbook, and only a huge chunk of your income can solve his cash flow problems. But don’t worry: even though giving so much of your income might put you in debt, or make you unable to make all your payments on time, you can take comfort in the fact that God loves people who allow his representatives to drive in Cadillacs instead of taking the bus.
At least when TGA asks you for a tithe, it’s actually closer to .0001% of your income, and you know exactly where it goes: I don’t pretend that it’s used for any other purpose than to sustain me.