Christian Barber-Shop

What the hell is this song about? Why are they all dressed like gay candy-stripers? Is one of them incredibly short or is everyone else just super tall? So many questions, so few answers…

Michele Bachmann just doesn’t get it

“Every American has the same rights”

Is that so? It certainly doesn’t feel that way, especially when your government makes laws specifically designed NOT to allow gays and lesbians to marry. Well, to be fair, she claims they are allowed to get married: but it must be to someone of the opposite sex. See, we’re all equal! We all get to conform to what Christian nutjobs like Michele wants us to be.

You can feel some sympathy for her though. I mean, she did marry a gay guy, so she must know what she’s talking about!

Woman held captive by Scientologists for 12 years

Scientology is messed up. What else do you expect from a “religion” created by a poor science-fiction writer with delusions of grandeur? There’s so much wrong with it, it’s hard to know exactly where to start the list of fucked up shit they do. Convince people with mental disabilities or brain imbalances that drugs are bad, vitamins are the answer and psychiatry is evil? Check. Find a way to take more and more money from your members from bogus auditing that costs more and more cash? Check. Have “work-camps” where people essentially do slave labor in exchange for more stupid auditing, and refuse to release people who want to leave? Oh, you better believe that’s a check.

A former Church of Scientology member has claimed she was held against her will aboard the Church’s cruise ship, The Freewinds, for 12 years.

Valeska Paris, an Australian resident, said she was forced onto the ship by the Church’s leader, David Miscavige, when she was 17 after her mother tried to dissociate her from the organization.

Yeah, totally not creepy at all: They effectively hold a young woman captive for a decade, and then claim she was there of her own free will. Too bad some of her fellow members actually have the guts to back up her story, or that there are loads of similar complaints. I’m beginning to wonder if any prosecutor with a set of balls is going to bother to try and bring this evil organization to justice. Here is a clear group of deranged psychos with a shit-ton of money doing anything they want with impunity since given the magical status of religion. Why is it we’re always willing to suffer the worst offenses against people if it’s done by an organized body of nonsense?

Master of nonsense thinks Harry Potter and yoga are evil

The Catholic Church has been playing at nonsense so long, they think their own bullshit doesn’t stink. How else can you explain how an octogenarian master of fantasy can say something as idiotic as this:

Practising yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter,” he told a film festival in Umbria this week, where he was invited to introduce The Rite, a film about exorcism starring Sir Anthony Hopkins as a Jesuit priest.

The Rite, as you may recall, is a movie staring Anthony Hopkins that claims to be based on a true story. Father Gabriele Amorth is the founder of International Association of Exorcists, a kind of deadly Dungeons and Dragons club that takes itself way too seriously. Amorth and his gang of weirdos think the devil is real, that science is bullocks, and finally that everything they didn’t come up with is evil:

“Satan is always hidden and what he most wants is for us not to believe in his existence. He studies every one of us and our tendencies towards good and evil, and then he offers temptations.” Science was incapable of explaining evil, said Father Amorth, who has written two books on his experiences as an exorcist. “It’s not worth a jot.

A jot, for anyone born after The First World War, means something tiny and insignificant, not unlike his pathetic opinions. Seriously, you have to shake your head in disbelief; here is a man who makes a living by pretending to exorcise demons from people claiming that Harry Potter and yoga is evil, simply because it wasn’t thought up by a 2000 year old dead Palestinian Jew. It would be sad if exorcism wasn’t so fucked up: there are countless stories of dumb people killing their friends and family doing this shit. I’ve yet to see anyone seriously fucked up after watching “Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban”, I can tell you that.

Church tells HIV patients to quit medication, rely on God instead

For those of you that still naively believe that believing in nonsense can’t harm you, I present to you reason #1,697,456 why religion is fucking evil: a church called the Synagogue Church of All Nations has apparently been telling some of their parishioners that they don’t need to take their AIDS medication in favor of prayer. As you can guess, a number of premature deaths have occurred, and while officials inside the Church deny having told people to stop taking medication, the organization still claims to have cured a number of cancers in parishioners on its own website. This fact alone should be enough to warrant an investigation, and in anticipation of this, an undercover journalist decided to see just what kinds of claims were being made in this dangerous nuthouse.

The video above is from one of the branches in Southwark, and posing as someone with full blown AIDS, this journalist gets a preview of the kind of dangerous, irresponsible and deadly advice these charlatans are giving sick and desperate people. AIDS medication is extremely effective when taken properly, but these bastards trying to make a quick buck have robbed them of existence. I can see of no greater crime that to steal away a person’s life for one’s personal gain. It absolutely makes me sick.

These fucks also try to sell a whole slew of bullshit products, including anointed water, DVDs and “Partner Training” programs for anyone interested in starting their own deadly franchise. Remember folks: God is all powerful, but he has an insatiable lust for your material possessions. He used to want your best baby goats and lambs; now he just wants all your fucking money.

CFI Canada gets a shake-up, comes clean

After receiving some flak (some of it merited, some of it not) over my article indicating my worry that the CFI’s Board of Directors was fractured over Justin Trottier’s dismissal, and that this fact alone demanded that the organization come clean to members regarding the details. While I had managed to get a few details of what was happening, it was clear from every other article out there that no one was 100% aware of the facts, and this was precisely my original complaint. A lack of transparency was the crux of the problem, demonstrating that that the board was susceptible to outside influence and could fall victim to a situation similar to what transpired:

On November 21, Derek Pert wrote to the board requesting that he be terminated with severance. Derek indicated that he thought he lacked sufficient support from the board to carry out his duties. The board held an emergency meeting on the evening of Wednesday, November 23. At that meeting the board passed a motion confirming that Derek had full authority to carry out the responsibilities associated with the position of National Executive Director.

There followed a motion to terminate Derek Pert with severance of $50,000. The motion was made by Michael Gardiner. The motion was properly seconded and a vote was taken. The motion failed 6-3, with Michael Gardiner, Ian McCuaig, and board chair Carol Parlow voting for the motion.

Late on the night of November 23, Derek Pert submitted a letter of resignation. On November 24, in quick succession, directors Michael Gardiner and Ian McCuaig and board chair Carol Parlow submitted their letters of resignation.

That doesn’t sound fucking sketchy at all. Former board member Ian insists the motion was done as a symbolic gesture, but this whole affair smells like a major scam. You don’t play around with member money, especially when there is so much at stake.

As for what the future holds, I’m not sure Justin should come back. His presence could further divide members who already had to pick camps (trust me, I read all about their opinion in the comment section) and it could have the appearance of impropriety. I think, however, that the opportunity is there for a lot of exciting changes to happen. I do agree that CFI’s mission hasn’t always been clear, and increased professionalism would benefit their image. I also think that they need to increase their media strategy, and have professional press people that could represent secular issues in the news (both local and national). It’s time to get serious and show everyone that CFI can thrive in the face of a crisis. The Simpsons have a word for this kind of thing: crisitunity!

CFI Canada Members have a lot to be worried about

Secular organizations in this country have the tendency to implode. Although it’s not clear exactly why this happens, it my have something to do with the fact that people tend not to agree on the best strategy to garner new members. Should we be in everyone’s face? Should we employ a more gentle approach that doesn’t alienate certain groups? While we may not argue over dogma like our religious counterparts, our common disbelief is usually not enough to create a powerful consensus among members. More than likely our differing opinions often polarizes people in two basic camps: Accommodation, and Confrontation.

As the former National Director of the Center for Inquiry Canada,  Justin Trottier clearly fell into the Confrontationist camp. From his early days as a student activist at the University of Toronto, Justin was instrumental in breathing life into CFI. In it’s early days, his personality and vision allowed the organization to grow. His management style, unfortunately, tended to make him few friends. Still, one of the main reason why the organization has been so successful as of late is because of his relentless activism and his ability to “get the job done”. The whole reason CFI even exists in Canada is largely his doing. Say what you will about him: Justin has drive, and the growth of the organization would have been impossible without his passion.

A few months ago, Justin took a leave of absence to run as the Green Party candidate, and it was understood that during his time away, the Board was to find someone who could manage the day to day operation in a way Justin could not. This would have allowed him to concentrate more on activism and on gaining visibility in the media while the organization would have a friendly face managing volunteers (the man does have serpentine qualities, I’ll admit). What occurred instead was a witch-hunt against Justin; it was clear that recent additions to the Board disliked Justin intensely and wanted to try and implement a new strategy or the organization.  It took little effort to further alienate Justin from disenfranchised Members, and without any due process, he was effectively terminated from his position before returning from his leave of absence.  The repercussions of this witch-hunt can still be felt; even as I write this, various members continue to email one another with poisonous accusations against Justin of corrupting or poisoning members, the childishness of which cannot be overstated.

While Justin has remained silent to avoid sparking panic among the members, there are a number of high profile individuals within the organization – including Board members who wish to remain silent – that have expressed their concerns over the way Justin was fired. Since he was on leave when he was terminated, it’s not even clear if what the Board did was actually legal or not. In any case, something fishy was going on, and an email sent by Board Chair Carol Parlow did little to ease concerns:

Since CFI Canada became a registered charity, it has been managed by a volunteer Board of Directors. The Board’s priority is to guide CFI to a position of national significance, but we must also ensure that the legal requirements of our charitable status are carefully respected…The Board of CFI Canada recognizes Justin Trottier’s tremendous contribution to the establishment of CFI Canada. We also look forward to the exciting times ahead as CFI Canada grows into the prominent and respected organization it will become.

The email is simply a whitewash for members who express surprise or discontentment in the sudden change of leadership, or anyone for that matter who questions their new “direction”. In the interim of Justin departure, the organization had managed to spend over $20,000 attempting to revamp their mission statement. It was a move the Board felt would help attract important and new members with deep pockets. Their current strategy aims to give CFI a more professional and corporate images, but their gambit has so far failed to pay off. Justin’s departure means that a number of significant contributors have vanished a well, and CFI’s big American brother – suffering economically from the recession- is threatening to pull their funding as well. Their new Director, Derek Pert, is admittedly not an activist; he’s a friendly enough guy with good management skills, but this isn’t JCPenny.  If they cannot find new members with deep pockets, then with the added pressure of lost funding, its hard to imagine how they could survive.

Not one of these concerns have been expressed to members. Instead, we get a white-wash from the Board Chair and this false narrative that Justin left on his own accord. We were also given the impression that the decision was unanimous, when there were a number of absences and one member who abstained from vote (presumably a diplomatic way to express doubt over the new direction). In any case, to claim that there is no conflict currently brewing within the ranks is a lie. The Board shows deep fragmentation, and it’s my opinion that due to this issue, it cannot function effectively in its current form.

I don’t want to suggest that Justin should be re-instated, or even that CFI’s new strategy is wrong. It’s simply my opinion that the Board is fractured; not only over the decision to let Justin go, but also whether or not the new focus of the organization is the right one. That members have been given absolutely no information on these recent developments is a sign of impropriety, and it’ time for them to knock on the board’s door and demand some answers. The process needs to be more open, so that the people who actually pay the bills can decide for themselves if they like this new direction.

Fearlessly naked in Egypt

It takes guts to stand up for what you believe in when you live in a repressive country. While we in the West enjoy the freedom to post nude photos of ourselves whenever we want, there are some countries – in this case Egypt – where doing so can get you in a lot of trouble. It was in the spirit of protest that Aliaa Magda Elmahd posted naked pictures of herself on her blog to highlight the fact that the country has no artistic representations of the female form. With Mubarak out of power, the country is in turmoil as the “liberals” try and fight off the growing power of religious fundamentalists, and Aliaa’s nude posts has divided a nation that is still struggling with deep rooted Islamic “values”

Her move comes as Salafis have been pushing their attitude that women should be kept out of the public eye, promoting Saudi Arabia-style segregation of the sexes. On Salafi parties’ campaign banners, photos of the few female candidates are replaced by drawings of a flower.

It’s no mystery that Islam has a serious problem with women’s bodies, and their sexuality in particular (why else would you smother them in a giant bed sheet?). As far as they are concerned, women should be out of the public eye and remain both submissive and ignorant. Aliaa’s moves has made the liberal camp nervous. Conservatives were quick to accuse liberals of corrupting morality, and while they’ve tried to distance themselves from her, the very values they espouse makes it difficult to condemn. This is still a country where women wear headscarves and almost never show off any skin. To display one’s naked body is tantamount to pornography there.

It’s difficult to ascertain how this will play out, but I worry for the safety of this young women. Honor killings are not uncommon in Egypt, and she’s already received threats on her life. No doubt some violent young man would like nothing more than to make an example out of her. I fear that the cost of such bravery may be too high.

Enroll at Angel University today!

Did you know that each one of us has a non-denominational guardian angel that travels with us wherever we go? These same angels will help you overcome fear, doubt, and that lingering pile of money in your bank account, all thanks to Angel University. For the low price of a thousand smackeroos, you too can become a certified angel therapist. There’s no limit to your upward mobility once you learn the secrets of tricking gullible idiots out of their money, and what better way to do so than by enrolling today? Not convinced yet? Wait until you hear these powerful testimonials!

Before sleep, I call upon Archangel Jeremiel to join my magical night travels. He ushers in the dreams needed for healing, solution, and enlightenment. He keeps lower energies out and allows entrance to those for my highest good. If needed, Archangel Azreal and Archangel Jeremiel bring in passed over loved ones to generate healing. Supporting, encouraging, protecting and guiding me, Archangel Jeremiel delivers information that benefits my life’s journey. The Archangel of life review, Jeremiel will initiate past life dreams as opportunity for harmonizing ourselves and creating positive changes.

How useful! I used to have to learn things in fancy books, but now all I plan on doing is laying down in bed and waiting for one of these Archangels fellows to bring me all the information I need for my life “journey”.

The more you can focus on what it is you are grateful for, the more you can learn to ignore those things that you are not so grateful for. By tuning out these negative areas of our lives we are taking back our power from them. We are drawing our line in the sand and letting the world know that if they want to get through our wall, the way is through happiness not anger.

Just tune out your problems rather than facing them. Hey, if you’re going to embrace magical thinking, you’ve got to incorporate some kind of denial of reality in there somewhere, am I right?

At this point it would be far safer to say that it[ the power of prayer] is proven fact, rather than mere theory that prayer can and does have an enormous positive impact on our lives. Now you may have seen the results of a couple of studies on prayer that stated there was no effect at all, or worse that it even seemed to cause harm to the person who was praying. The fact of the matter is that there is a tremendous difference between cold mechanical prayer and real, devoted and heartfelt, praying. Just as in all other areas of our lives we cannot simply go at this halfheartedly and expect dramatic results.

At Angel University, unpleasant things like facts and statistics are replaced by simple platitudes. The power of prayer found not to work? It’s because everyone in the study was a robot! If prayer didn’t work, it was obviously because the people doing the praying didn’t care enough. Silly science: when will you learn that you can’t measure intangible things like love, anger, and (more importantly) stupidity?

(Update: The website is no longer operational)

The Gaystopo and liberal fascism

You’ve probably noticed the new tactic from bigoted religionists claiming that their rights (specifically the right to discriminate against people for their sexual orientation) are being infringed. Well, this strategy has now morphed into a baseless accusation of fascism by a right wing nutjob named Alan Craig. He’s determined that the threat of wider acceptance of same-sex marriage as a sign of fascism. The author’s clever word for this sheer nonsense is “Gaystopo”.

the hidden hegemonic ambitions of the Gaystapo have been exposed recently by their plans to annex and redefine ‘marriage’. They already have achieved equal rights through civil partnerships, so to covet the word and undermine a foundation-stone of our civilization – and nurturing place for our children – betrays other more ominous intentions. They want to change our language, manipulate our culture and thereby impose their world-view on us all. Cultural domination is their aim and fascist-type intolerance of politically-incorrect dissent is their weapon. The eradication of marriage as “the life-long union between a man and a woman” is a huge next step along their way.

It’s funny how, when this “cultural hegemony” isn’t specifically Christian, the right suddenly decides that any changes to our attitudes as a culture must inherently be tyrannical in nature. He doesn’t even comprehend the fact that his religion’s main goal is to force THEIR beliefs on others. This is why unconstitutional and grossly homophobic laws like Prop 8 and DOMA make his argument so ironic. Here is an obvious example of a right leaning ideology (the same spectrum that fascism finds itself under) that imposes its set of values on others who don’t share their limited world view. He even has the audacity to call the gay rights movement, and liberalism in general, as “liberal fascism”. The combination of these two words make about as much sense as “Christian thinker”.

When readers started complaining about the author’s use of Nazi imagery, he first tried to claim that he didn’t really believe that the two were comparable, and that he really has a “live and let live attitude”. This brings up the pertinent question: “Why the fuck did you write your article, jackass?”.

I cannot be clearer that I am not, repeat not, saying all gay people are Nazis any more than I’d say all Muslims are Islamists or all Germans were fascists. It would be self-evident nonsense….Obviously they aren’t military or violent, but they are militant, intolerant, hypocritical and vindictive…It’s their way or no way – the totalitarian mind-set.

Yeah, he’s not saying ALL of them are: just enough that their “pink jackboots” footprints can be seen on the necks of poor, hardworking Christians who just want to disapprove of their lifestyle in peace. The problem is that this complete distortion of reality ignores the constant attempts by Christians to impose THEIR values and morals on others. Christians have never really feared totalitarianism; the Catholic Church signed the Reichskonkordat with the Nazis specifically to ensure that their interests would coincide with those of Hitler’s Germany. I find it quite illuminating that when they attempt to use the state to PREVENT gays from marrying, they casually ignore the fact that they themselves have used their power to put their “Jesus jackboots” on the throats of people who simply want to devote their lives to one another, and have the same legal rights as others.

Teen Mania Ministries is insane

“Pain is merely weakness leaving your body”
“You won’t last long if you start feeling sorry for yourself”
“Pay attention; you are a loser”

If you want to have a scary cultist environment, you need the following (all of which seem present in this “retreat”).

– Use food deprivation to make people more tired, and susceptible to suggestion
– Use hard physical labor to break down subjects to make them more submissive
– Use intimidation, yelling, peer pressure, the fear of failure or the unacceptable to soften their psyche.
– Identify your subject’s fears and expose them to it (like the girl with the bug) while uttering pointless platitudes.
– Use a constant overload of stimulus to make it hard or impossible for the subject to concentrate for any long period of time.

This place makes Jesus Camp look like Disneyland.

Catholic church sees writing on the wall

Religions are finally starting to understand that the scientific revolution, and the information age is eroding the power of their institution. It turns out that material explanations for natural processes are much more satisfying than a bunch of outdated superstitious ideas and vague promises of life eternal. A formerly religious fan who wrote to me recently put it better than I ever could:

I’ve always rebelled against those ideas [religion] but have never considered atheism nor have I ever done any kind of research on the origins of life, our planet, and the universe. Since becoming an atheist I’ve learned so much about these things. It’s really amazing how rejecting fairy tales really opens your mind to some really fucking amazing things.

Confused and afraid, the Church has only one “solution” for the problem: bringing it back to the love of Jesus, and making people understand that only their institution can properly hand out tickets to the magical playland in the sky. They worry about an increasingly secularized world, combined with a weak-sauce form of spirituality that lacks the important tithing they cherish so much. As membership continues to slide, no doubt they see the writing on the wall.

Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York seems to understand that there’s a serious problem:

They [churchgoers] drift from her, get mad at the Church, grow lax, join another, or just give it all up,” he said, according to a text of his remarks posted on the Conference’s website (www.usccb.org). If this does not cause us pastors to shudder, I do not know what will. The reasons are multiple and well-rehearsed — and we need to take them seriously. The Church we passionately love is hardly some cumbersome, outmoded club of sticklers, with a medieval bureaucracy, silly human rules on fancy letterhead, one more movement rife with squabbles, opinions, and disagreement.

I totally agree. The Church is so much more than cumbersome, outmoded, silly and filled with squabbles and disagreement. It’s also a criminal organization that’s sheltered pedophiles and child rapists since its inception, been responsible for some of the most brutal genocides and massacres in our species history (Just ask the Cathari how they feel about the Church. Oh wait, you can’t, since they slaughtered them all), and still to this day continues to spread death and misery over their stupid objection to contraception.

Intelligent Design on Trial

If you don’t remember the Dover Trials, then this documentary should refresh your memory. I’m not sure how long this video will be up (since I assume it’s probably breaking some annoying copyright law), so you better watch before it’s gone. Recommend that you play it in the background. This puppy clocks in at almost two hours. Enjoy!

Why are we such meany pants?

Once in a while some confused religious person will venture on the site and express their dismay at the “hate” and intolerance on display. One such visitor felt that the real problem in the world is that folks just don’t do enough to try and respect one another:

a lot of hateful comments from the atheist camp here, why cant people just tolerate each other why are people always finding reasons to hate each other. I know atheists consider themselves better and more intelligent human beings than religious ones, well then if your so much better then why cant you be the ones to lead by example and show some respect and tolerance to others?

I don’t even know what the fuck he’s talking about this “atheists think they are better” nonsense. We just don’t cling to Bronze Age myths and pretend that the “revealed” words of lunatics is anything more than sheer fantasy. In a perfect world where superstitious bullshit didn’t cause wars, genocide, broken families, discourage the use of condoms to fight AIDS or undermine science education, maybe we would be more tolerant. But that’s not the world we live in, and while it’s easy to pretend that you want everyone to get along, it’s only because you haven’t considered the consequences your own beliefs have on society. What we think about the nature of reality has a direct influence in the real world, and until you stop poisoning our minds with complete garbage, we’ll continue to mock your sincerely held beliefs and not apologize for it.