Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Teen Mania Ministries is insane

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“Pain is merely weakness leaving your body”
“You won’t last long if you start feeling sorry for yourself”
“Pay attention; you are a loser”

If you want to have a scary cultist environment, you need the following (all of which seem present in this “retreat”).

– Use food deprivation to make people more tired, and susceptible to suggestion
– Use hard physical labor to break down subjects to make them more submissive
– Use intimidation, yelling, peer pressure, the fear of failure or the unacceptable to soften their psyche.
– Identify your subject’s fears and expose them to it (like the girl with the bug) while uttering pointless platitudes.
– Use a constant overload of stimulus to make it hard or impossible for the subject to concentrate for any long period of time.

This place makes Jesus Camp look like Disneyland.

Catholic church sees writing on the wall

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Religions are finally starting to understand that the scientific revolution, and the information age is eroding the power of their institution. It turns out that material explanations for natural processes are much more satisfying than a bunch of outdated superstitious ideas and vague promises of life eternal. A formerly religious fan who wrote to me recently put it better than I ever could:

I’ve always rebelled against those ideas [religion] but have never considered atheism nor have I ever done any kind of research on the origins of life, our planet, and the universe. Since becoming an atheist I’ve learned so much about these things. It’s really amazing how rejecting fairy tales really opens your mind to some really fucking amazing things.

Confused and afraid, the Church has only one “solution” for the problem: bringing it back to the love of Jesus, and making people understand that only their institution can properly hand out tickets to the magical playland in the sky. They worry about an increasingly secularized world, combined with a weak-sauce form of spirituality that lacks the important tithing they cherish so much. As membership continues to slide, no doubt they see the writing on the wall.

Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York seems to understand that there’s a serious problem:

They [churchgoers] drift from her, get mad at the Church, grow lax, join another, or just give it all up,” he said, according to a text of his remarks posted on the Conference’s website (www.usccb.org). If this does not cause us pastors to shudder, I do not know what will. The reasons are multiple and well-rehearsed — and we need to take them seriously. The Church we passionately love is hardly some cumbersome, outmoded club of sticklers, with a medieval bureaucracy, silly human rules on fancy letterhead, one more movement rife with squabbles, opinions, and disagreement.

I totally agree. The Church is so much more than cumbersome, outmoded, silly and filled with squabbles and disagreement. It’s also a criminal organization that’s sheltered pedophiles and child rapists since its inception, been responsible for some of the most brutal genocides and massacres in our species history (Just ask the Cathari how they feel about the Church. Oh wait, you can’t, since they slaughtered them all), and still to this day continues to spread death and misery over their stupid objection to contraception.

Intelligent Design on Trial

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If you don’t remember the Dover Trials, then this documentary should refresh your memory. I’m not sure how long this video will be up (since I assume it’s probably breaking some annoying copyright law), so you better watch before it’s gone. Recommend that you play it in the background. This puppy clocks in at almost two hours. Enjoy!

Why are we such meany pants?

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Once in a while some confused religious person will venture on the site and express their dismay at the “hate” and intolerance on display. One such visitor felt that the real problem in the world is that folks just don’t do enough to try and respect one another:

a lot of hateful comments from the atheist camp here, why cant people just tolerate each other why are people always finding reasons to hate each other. I know atheists consider themselves better and more intelligent human beings than religious ones, well then if your so much better then why cant you be the ones to lead by example and show some respect and tolerance to others?

I don’t even know what the fuck he’s talking about this “atheists think they are better” nonsense. We just don’t cling to Bronze Age myths and pretend that the “revealed” words of lunatics is anything more than sheer fantasy. In a perfect world where superstitious bullshit didn’t cause wars, genocide, broken families, discourage the use of condoms to fight AIDS or undermine science education, maybe we would be more tolerant. But that’s not the world we live in, and while it’s easy to pretend that you want everyone to get along, it’s only because you haven’t considered the consequences your own beliefs have on society. What we think about the nature of reality has a direct influence in the real world, and until you stop poisoning our minds with complete garbage, we’ll continue to mock your sincerely held beliefs and not apologize for it.

Blasphemy!

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While I hate their fucking commercials, I am rather pleased at the news that the Axe Deodorant spray (which smells a lot like hair spray from the 90′s) is causing something of a stir with Christians in South Africa. Apparently they don’t find the thought of an angel renouncing immortality in order to have a gang-bang amusing. Who would have thought?

The Eagle of the Apocalypse doesn’t want you to use contraceptives

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Not only does his name sound like a bad-ass metal band, but he is also the “Co-Prophet of the End Times”. That’s nutjob for “I think Jesus chose me to deliver you the good news about his planned mass slaughter”. He’s so crazy that one scary sounding name fantasizing about the death of countless human beings was not enough.

Priceless moments include:
– Referring to “withdrawal” as a Planned Parenthood form of birth control.
– Objection to having the Pope tell us what to do is the devil talking.
– God invented the “Game of Sex”
– God punishes you with STD’s in this life and eternal torture in the next.
– Dude admits to own lack of popularity due to harshness of message

I love Jesus because my school is unconstitutional

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There are lots of schools in the US that seemed to have missed the memo that any public educational institution is a secular institution, and any form of religious proselytizing is strictly forbidden. An employee in North Carolina recently discovered that her elementary school has decided that a Christmas gift basket is the perfect opportunity to try and indoctrinate kids. While packing boxes for needy families in other countries, the school has asked the kids to sign a form that asks them:

My Name is ______
I Live in _______
I love Jesus because ________”

It’s more of that annoying “charity at a price” we’ve come to expect from Christians. Their first job is always to try and spread their worthless gospel, and helping others is seen as a secondary goal. These people are too ignorant to realize that not everyone wants to hear crazy religious bullshit, especially if the only way to accept their charity is by listening to their pointless proselytizing. How about you just do nice things because people need help? Why do you need to bring your imaginary friend into everything?

Judge finds Catholic Church can be held responsible for abuse

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You’re probably familiar with the Vatican claim that they are not to be blamed for abusive priests that sexually assaulted any children (which allows them to claim zero responsibility for the things people do while in their employ). What you may not be aware of, however, in that in July of this year, they attempted to use this defense legally, and it seems to have backfired. When the Church attempted to use this “We didn’t do nothing” defense in court against a woman who had been abused by Father Wilfred Baldwin in the 1970′s, the judge would have none of it.

The judge said although there had been no formal contract between the church and the priest, the late Father Baldwin, there were “crucial features” that should be recognized.

It is the first time a court has ruled that the relationship between a Catholic priest and his bishop is akin to an employment relationship. It sets a precedent for similar cases, by providing further guidance for such trials in the future, while also putting the church in uncharted territory

The landmark case has just rejected this argument, paving the way for other victims of abuse to start holding the Holy See responsible for their complicity in the abuse. In other words, it means that the rich coffers of the Vatican are up for grabs for their many victims who cannot seek any other form of justice (Father Baldwin had been dead for many years by the time the trial happened). The war isn’t over yet, folks, since they can appeal the decision. Still, I feel as though we’ve won this battle.

Great video on Objective Morality by QualiSoup

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Yet another quality video from YouTube sensation QualiSoup, and this time, he focuses on some of William Lane Craig’s arguments that only a God can allow for objective morality. I haven’t had time to read Sam Harris’ new book, so I can’t pretend to know what his arguments are, but I’ve always been suspicious of the idea that objective morality exists. That’s not to suggest that we should all throw our hands in the air and call it a day. It just means that we have to refine our moral muscle to ensure that we achieve, as Jeremy Bentham would have said, the “greatest happiness principle”.

Besides, the idea that only a supernatural entity can decide what is objectively moral and what is not would mean that any decision taken by that entity which we disagreed with (like God commanding the killing of all Midianites, including babies) would automatically be immoral. Does that sound like an attractive solution when trying to determine what moral choices we should make?

Satanic cults have baby farms!

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Wow, did you know that Satanic cults are everywhere?

Did you know they they were raising children specifically for sacrifice, and that an effective way to spot these miscreants is to first target any business that has Halloween decorations?

Did you know any idiot can appear in front of a camera and say shit that makes everyone else’s brain hurt?

It’s amazing what you can learn in an afternoon, isn’t it?

I’m earthbound, and I’m delusional

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Can’t wait to hear that trumpet sound, eh? And you wonder why people who haven’t been brainwashed by your bullshit think that Christianity is a creepy death cult. The sheer ecstasy you try to convey when talking about dying scares the fucking shit out of us, honestly.

Guy gets excommunicated, “handed over” to Satan

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Christian Nightmares – an awesome site I recommend you subscribe to – got ahold of an excommunication letter sent to what seems like a former believer. I thought I’d share the highlights with you, as it provides an interesting perspective as to the frame of mind of true believers.

It is my sad duty to inform you that you will be excommunicated from the fellowship…of Cornerstone Reformed Church this coming Sunday.

We have repeatedly attempted to call you back to fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ, both personally and by letter. You have not responded to any of these appeals, but have steadfastly refused to listen to us and worship on a regular basis with us. As a result…the Session…is striking your name from rolls of this church.

Jesus himself tells the church to discipline those who refuse to repent of their sins and listen to him through the church [I’m guessing this is the important part here]…In obedience of his command, we are handing you over to Satan and his kingdom of darkness in hopes that you will come to your senses, repent, and then return.

In Christ’s name,
Pastor Shade [what is he, a super-villain?]

The gist here is that this guy (or girl) had disobeyed their instructions, refused to show up to their events, and as a result was “handed over” to Satan. Is he some kind of cosmic babysitter or something? I’m not surprised by your attempts to ensnare people back to your church with the threat of eternal torture, but it all seems a bit harsh for the crime of not showing up to your events and responding to a few letters, doesn’t it?

I love how it’s supposedly not Pastor Shade’s decision at all. “Jesus told me that you sucked and needed to burn in hell forever. I’m doing you a favor by telling you all of this, which is why I’m a better person than you”. This is the insanity we have to deal with on a constant basis, people: self righteous assholes who think they’re all doing us a favor by taking our money and telling us what to do. Fun times.

Religious Scams, Nigerian Style

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Yes, I realize that religion and scam are synonymous, but these kinds of evangelical preachers are a special breed. Maybe it’s the way they relish luxury while the poor continue to dump their money into his giant garbage-bins. Either way, when this bullshit gets exported to Nigeria, it takes on a whole life of its own. Check out scumbag “Dr.” Sign Fireman and his little racket.

(Update: Sign Fireman was eventually arrested and charged with the murder and rape of a young girl)

Newt Gingrich can suck my balls

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“How can you have judgement if you don’t have faith?”
Translation: “How can you distinguish right from wrong if you don’t believe in nonsense?”

I think I can answer this one, Newt: my judgement and morality comes from the slow, meticulous process of natural selection. Feelings of compassion, tolerance, love, friendship and community aren’t predicated by the belief that a 2000 year old dead Palestinian Jew had a really bad weekend, but rather on the need for our ancestors to get along long enough to survive and produce successful offspring. The rest is just window dressing.

Also, go fuck yourself.

Honor Killing was totally justified says shitty father

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Every so often, I hear someone claim that honor killings have nothing to do with Islam. While it’s true that the practice is actually older than the religion (it is, after all, the “new kid on the block” compared to the other two Abrahamic Religions), it seems as though this barbaric ritual has found fertile ground in this religion. While the practice has its roots in much older Arab patriarchal societies that tried desperately to control women’s reproductive rights, it’s now become a kind of punishment for any perceived infraction of their twisted morality.

Take the story of 17 year old Rand Abdel-Qader as an example: this young women had the misfortune of falling in love with a British soldier stationed in Basra, and when the family found out about the infatuation (the innocence of which cannot be overstated), they teamed up to strangle her to death and left her body in an unmarked shallow grave. Her father’s only regret now is that he did not murder his daughter while she was still an innocent child:

‘Death was the least she deserved,’ said Abdel-Qader. ‘I don’t regret it. I had the support of all my friends who are fathers, like me, and know what she did was unacceptable to any Muslim that honours his religion,’ he said.
‘I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,’ he said, his voice swelling with pride. ‘My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.’

If you’re hoping for some kind of happy ending to this story (like this shitty father being incarcerated for murder), then I’m sorry to inform you that the cops were congratulating him for having the balls to kill his own child. The worst they’ve done is fire him from his job, although the local government official did give him money to lay low in Jordan for a while. Isn’t it nice to know you have the support of your community when you’re an infanticidal, religious douche bag?