Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Canadian Imam learns important lesson about Muslim “Brotherhood”

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If you’re planning to take a pilgrimage to Medina, you might want to make sure that you’re practicing “Islam” the way the locals want you to. That’s a lesson a Canadian Imam by the name of Usama Al-Atar learned rather painfully, as he was singled out from a prayer group, strangled, beaten, and then taken to jail.

According to CTV, he’s been released, but details are extremely sketchy. The police claim that he assaulted someone, but according to witnesses, the religious police found his praying to be “inappropriate” and quickly mobilized to silence him.

Let’s remember that Saudi Arabia is still the only country on earth where women aren’t allowed to drive or vote (although this is supposedly changing in 2015). Typically, this isn’t a very positive sign. Are we really that surprised that they would also mistreat foreign visitors, accuse them of crimes they didn’t commit, then lay bogus charges on them? What the fuck did this guy expect when entering one of the most religiously conservative countries in the world?

I hope this serves as a lesson for any other Muslim thinking of travelling to the country for a pilgrimage: in their eyes, you’re probably worshiping wrong, and they’re going to do something about it.

Spain’s Stolen Babies

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A few months ago, TGA reported on a story so shocking, it was hard to believe it had actually happened: for over 4 decades, the fascist government of Francisco Franco (along with the Catholic Church) had faked the deaths of ten of thousands of babies in order to traffic them. After the collapse of Franco’s government, the Church continued the practice well into the 1980′s (presumably it was too profitable to shut down). Now the BBC has finished filming a documentary about this tragedy, as the families try to track down their loved ones, all without the help of the government, who refuses to launch an investigation. See, it’s not just America that’s got a shitty government. Spain was literally doing some evil shit for political power and money. It doesn’t get more fucked up than stealing babies.

Reno atheists get the job done

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Fan of the show William is beaming with pride, and with good reason: he’s a member of the Reno Coalition of Reason, and they’re celebrating the erection of this billboard, asking: “are you good without God? Millions are!”. It’s great to see how effective atheists have gotten at organizing and spreading the word that non-believers aren’t a fringe group. We’re much larger than anyone imagines, and we’re getting pretty sick and tired of religious people shoving their religion (among other things) down our throats.

Congratulations on getting the job done, boys and girls!

Shirley Phelps drops by TGA to say “you’ll burn in Hell, Nate”

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About a year ago, Carisa recorded Nate Phelps’ presentation “On the Grayness of Life“, in which he recounts his life as a member of America’s most notorious family, the Phelps. Truth be told, I kind of forgot about the whole thing (since blog turnover on content is so quick), but it seems as though the matriarch of the family, Shirley Phelps-Roeper, actually bothered to visit the site and ensure that Nate knows exactly what will happen to him for escaping his father’s abuse:

Nate should be grateful that my father never did what it says in Leviticus 20:9 – “Any person who curses his father or mother shall therefore be put to death. Since he has cursed his father or mother, he shall be stoned to death.”

He’s still going to burn in Hell for all eternity, so the Lord will have his revenge against his decadent, rebellious ways.

Thanks for dropping by Shirley. We’ll be sure to let Nate know that your diseased mind is fantasizing about him burning in Hell for all eternity.

Thunderfoot Jesus

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I’m digging this new satirical, lampooning Thunderfoot. I’ve read some chatter about how this YouTube giant should stick with his old bag of tricks, but I think the science stuff was getting a little stale by now. We don’t have a lot of arguments left to win against Religion (today’s challenge: try and name one). The best solution so far is to spoof their crazy bullshit right in their faces. I say if you’re going to believe in nonsense, I’m going to make fun of you for it. I’m a dick, and I’m loving it (as is the Religious Antagonist).

Cindy Jacobs is batshit crazy

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If you’re unfamiliar with the insanity of Cindy Jacobs, I have the misfortune of introducing you to a special kind of crazy bitch. Imagine if Marcia Gay Harden’s character in the movie “The Mist” had somehow found a way to traverse the fantasy barrier and crossed over into the real world (yes, I know it’s a terrible movie plot, but someone should have said that to Arnold Schwarzenegger) In January of 2011, she claimed that the mysterious death of thousands of migratory birds was the result of God punishing the world (through animal proxy, of course) for gays being allowed to serve in the military. Here she’s opposing the “Occupy Wall Street” protesters, claiming that all of this is really the work of the devil, who intends to try and take rich people’s money away.

It’s ironic that she talks about class warfare when her own organization’s aims sound very much like that of a paramilitary group, or the kind of mission statement you’d expect from a super-villain group:

Generals International is an international movement that thrives to reform the nations of the world. We are achieving societal transformation through intercession and the prophetic. Together, the staff works to expand the Kingdom of God by bearing the vision of Generals International to reform the nations of the world through the ministry of the prophetic.

The irony in all of this is that Jacobs and her ilk are attempting something similar with their 40 days 40 nights campaign (let’s call it “Occupy Washington”) in order to transform it into the “District of Christ“. It’s ok though: they’re doing it for the Lord;  not a bunch of lazy bums that blame all of their problems on rich people (well, the ones that stole their pensions, anyways).  When you’re working for the Lord, you’ve got an important job to do:

While many want to wear the label of intercessor, few are willing to pay the price to hear the still small voice of God. The intercessor petitions the throne of God with the desires of God for His people. It is not about asking God for selfish desires that can be used on our own lust, it is about discerning the will of God and then giving Him agreement and petitioning Him to implement His will on earth. A true intercessor prays God’s Word back to Him. Since God seeks voluntary lovers, we have the opportunity to cooperate with Him to implement His will on Earth. “Your will be done in Earth as it is in Heaven” is not an empty platitude; it is the vision statement for God’s original intent for mankind.

What bugs me about these kinds of power hungry madmen (or madwomen) is this idea they have that their crazy ambitions are a kind of desirable piety. It’s all for someone else in their eyes, you see. So every dollar they embezzle in their little “world reformation” plan is regarded, unquestioningly, as the will of Jesus (who is going to eventually show up any moment and claim the place, but they’ll gladly take the keys in the meantime).  And lo it’s a miracle! Their savior believes in precisely the same things they do. Hallelujah!

Bible Stories (Moses) Part 1

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I’ve just finished part 1 of the Bible Stories video taken directly from Episode 133. If the video gets enough play, I’ll finish the entire series. For now, I’ll content myself to producing videos showing off some of the content from the podcast. If you’ve never listened to the show, I have to seriously ask you: Why the hell not?

School demolishes chapel, replaces it with science classrooms

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Finally, some good news coming out of the UK. It seems a public school founded 500 years ago by the Dean of St. Paul’s Cathedral has decided to demolish its chapel in favor of building science classrooms. Can you imagine a more cheerful sign of progress?

St Paul’s School in south west London has knocked down its chapel to make way for new science classrooms, becoming the first of the country’s leading public schools to do without a place of worship.

While £5 million has been spent on a new theatre and £4 million on a sports complex, no money has been made available for a replacement chapel.

There are now plans to start saving money in 2020 to pay for the construction of the remaining buildings, but no date has been assigned to the chapel, leading to fears that it will be seen as expendable.

What’s the point? In a few decades, there won’t be enough religious rubes to pay for the damn thing anyways. What is a chapel but a testament to our own ignorance and superstition? I love the fact that a school originally founded by a church has made the decision to move forward and abandon its religious roots. It’s proof that the power of these institutions is seriously starting to wane. A few more decades, and they’ll hopefully be just a painful distant memory…

IHOP 24 hour prayer session does nothing

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Remember these wackos? A few weeks ago, The International House of Prayer and their fearless leader Mike Bickle, made headlines after accusing Oprah Winfrey of being the Anti-Christ. These people are not to be underestimated. Since its humble beginnings, the church has grown by leaps and bounds. It’s recently opened a four-year Bible college, and plans of building a massive 100 million dollar church complex (which will undoubtedly be a gaudy monstrosity).

Their whole schtick involves a 24/hour, 7 day a week prayer session that never stops. It’s supposedly been going on for 12 years (I have my doubts about this claim), and in order to accomplish this, young volunteers pledge to spend a minimum of 25 hours a week at the church, often in late night shifts. They’ve been praying for gay marriage and abortion to be made illegal. Fortunately, they’re talking to their imaginary friend the whole time, so all of this prayin’ has done precisely shit in actually changing anything. Of course, this whole effort probably feels inspiring to the members, which explains why they’ve been growing so fast. They have vision, and regardless of how frightening it is (they subscribe to the “Seven Mountain Dominionism” scary bullshit), that’s what these kind of people want from their church these days: a clear idea of how to change society to fit their narrow worldview.

Life imitates Art for woman in Iran

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It’s hilarious how most Muslims are convinced that their restrictive religious repression of women is somehow intended to protect them. You hear this all the time in Islamic countries; they think we let our women “run around unprotected” while they “bravely” restrict every part of their lives in the misguided belief that it’s really all for their own good. The culture of Islam makes women seem like dangerous, seductive weapons that cloud the judgement of men. Why else would they execute victims of rape, if not to vindicate the idea that it is always the woman’s fault for seducing the rapist in the first place?

In the light of this prism, the slavery of women is viewed as an extension of man’s submission to God, but as the old adage goes: ladies first! Rebelliousness, seen in any light, is to be extinguished, as was the case with actress Marzieh Vafamehr, who found out herself living out the plot of her new movie “My Tehran for Sale“. The scenario involves a young woman struggling to live in a country of contradictions, where young people live secret lives together in a brutal religious theocracy. This important movie is currently being distributed on the sly, since the country has banned it.

According to an interview with the director of the movie, the government sought a number of bogus charges, including failure to cover her hair with a hijab, consuming alcohol on set, and being part of the production (she wasn’t). The sentence is the kind of thing you’d expect from a theocratic and misogynistic society: 90 red-hot lashes and a whole year of rotting in jail, all for the “crime” of acting in someone else’s movie. Considering the number of women that often fail to survive the aftermath of such unnecessary brutality, I hope she’s made of tougher stuff.

The contradictory nature of Iran is why there are really two pictures of this place: one filled with young women who live out their lives in a secret world that resembles our own, and the other populated by religious thugs who patrol the streets looking for these secret places. When these worlds clash, the only ones to bother talking about it tend to be Persian Christian Missionaries operating out of the Alpharetta, Georgia. Their presence there only exacerbates the situation of course; religion is precisely the problem in Iran. Another faith is hardly the solution.

We have to ask ourselves what we can do ourselves to expose the evils of this religion outside of the sphere of influence of Christianity. It’s our duty to see that the injustices of any faith are given the proper attention they deserve. Until we do, how can we continue to claim the moral high ground?

The Flizbins want you to dance for God’s love

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Sick and tired of children’s entertainment that’s fun, informational, and secularist? Well, The Flizbins are here, and they promise you “safe” children’s programming. Presumably, the stuff that’s currently out there for preschoolers must all be evil or unsafe. Luckily, their totally inoffensive songs are sure to delight parents and kids alike!

You can tell from their stiff, forced dances that something educational is happening, especially after they say the word “Dance” a total of 46 times. I especially love the clumsy rap introduced – rather inelegantly – by primitive beat-boxing. Their odd message, interspersed by the supposed need to dance, seems utterly drowned out by the repetitive music. If they are trying to communicate anything with your children, it’s quickly lost in their meaningless chorus. Dance because God loves spending time with you! Dance because the sky reminds some cowboy how awesome your imaginary friend is! Dance because you’re trying to make money in this overcrowded market!

Harold Camping does it again

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There’s a new End Date, True Unbelievers. Harold Camping brings the good news of Armageddon, and you don’t have to wait very long: It’s October 21st!

Honestly, I thought the dude was dead after I saw that last video of him shying away from the spotlight after yet another failed prophesy. I’d feel sorry for this old man if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s a bigoted jackass who wants the world to erupt in bloodshed. That’s what Rapture is: a genocidal fantasy.

77 reasons to support bigotry

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The Friendly Atheist has an interesting article written by two fans who recently attended a “Marriage Symposium” organized by the Illinois Family Institute and Patriots United (any time an organization has the words “Family” or “Patriot” in it, you know something racist/homophobic/ultra-conservative is going on). One of the pieces of literature at the event that intrigued me was the pamphlet entitled “77 Non-Religious Reasons to Support Man/Women Marriage“, (sounds more positive than “oppose civil rights, doesn’t it?).  This testament to ignorance has so many gems in it, I found it difficult to choose which one was my favorite…

#18: Without man/woman marriage, there will be no institution specifically protecting the right of children to be in a relationship with both parents.

[Translation: If gays are allowed to marry, parents will mysteriously be unable to have a relationship with their kids because gay sex is gross]

#22. If the love between adults were the only important factor, we would expect stepparents to be interchangeable with biological parents. But this is not generally the case.

[Translation: Because you don’t love your step-dad hard enough, “Todd and Fred” shouldn’t be allowed to care for another human being.]

#29 Same-Sex Marriage makes an implicit statement that mothers and fathers are interchangeable, and sex is irrelevant to parenting. The burden should be on those who make this strong, non-intuitive claim.

[Did religious people just say that the burden of proof is on people making extraordinary claims? Shocking. If proof can be shown that the gender of the parents makes no difference at all – say from a study conducted by the American Psychological Association– would they be willing to accept it?]

#32 Mothers and fathers each make unique contributions to the child’s development. Father’s absence creates risks in children that mother’s absence does not create.

[Translation: Dad’s are more important than moms. After all, they’re more likely to physically and sexually abuse their kids, based primarily on factors such as feelings of self worth, unemployment and substance abuse. Does that mean poor people shouldn’t have kids?]

#33 Teenage boys without fathers are at risk for juvenile delinquency, violence, criminal activity, gang membership and incarceration.

[Hey, I know a way that this kid could have not one, but two dads, making him twice as likely not to turn out shitty! Hint: it involves some degree of butt-sex]

#41 Once same sex marriage becomes legally and socially acceptable, more women will decide to raise children together. They will view this as easier than putting forth the effort of crossing the gender divide and cooperating with a man through marriage.

[Translation: Men will become increasingly marginalized because all women will magically lose their intense desire for sexual and emotional intimacy with the opposite sex, since men are such hard work that it’s not really worth it.]

#55 The judges who imposed same sex marriage in Iowa stated “The research…suggest that the traditional notion that children need a mother and father to be raised into a healthy, well-adjusted adults is based more on stereotypes than anything else.” This is not true as a general statement

[Translation: We refuse to accept any evidence that contradicts what we already know to be true.]

#57 If enough judges say enough implausible things, people will lose respect for the law.
[Translation: If the law doesn’t work to our advantage, we’ll ignore it.]

#60 By the time the activists are finished, there will be nothing left of marriage but a government registry of friendships

[Translation: if gays are allowed the same rights as everyone else, they’ll ruin it the same way they ruined Glee clubs, male cheerleading, and fashion.]

You’ll notice the document sounds like the paranoid ravings of emotionally insecure people (mostly dads) afraid of losing their place in society. It makes sense: most of these movements are populated by old, racist white people; exactly the types of folks that see their power and influence diminish in today’s society. Their fears about an uncertain future (something every generation has had to face) has found a perfect focal point in the Gay Rights Movement. And because they see themselves as crusaders working for the benefit of children, they will interpret their increasingly marginalized views as the right ones. It matters little what society itself wants: they already know the desired outcome. Now all they need to do is try and work for it. I’m happy to report that these efforts will ultimately prove futile. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself this question: “were you convinced that same-sex marriage should be opposed after reading this logical juggernaut?”