Catholics Come Home

Catholics have taken a page from Evangelical Christians and are actively trying to recruit people back to the faith. After the shellacking they’ve received amidst all the sex scandals, they’re looking for a little PR work, and they’ve found it in “Catholics Come Home“.

The site promises to convert you to, or back to Catholicism by answering a few pathetic questions, and glossing over any fact that looks to be embarrassing. It tries to present the faith as though for the past 2000 years it’s been a model organization. There doesn’t seem to be any information on Inquisitions, Crusades, or the persecution of Jews. Guess they forgot about those historical “oopsies”

Some of their quotes are hilariously out of touch:

the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, “There are not even 100 people in this country who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they think the Catholic Church to be.”

I’m pretty fucking sure the Church’s history of protecting child rapists from prosecution has probably made more than 100 people hate the Catholic Church, man. Of course, Sheen died in 1979, just about the time that some of his coworkers were busy in Boston fondling kids left and right. Hear no evil, see no evil, right?

Also, if you’re unsure whether or not your own faith will continue to vilify homosexuality, rest assured Catholicism promises to never stop their campaign of false information and bigotry:

From our web site you will learn about homosexuality and chastity. By developing an interior life of chastity, which is the universal call to all Christians, one can move beyond the confines of the homosexual identity to a more complete one in Christ…

In other words, if you’re gay, you too can be accepted into the Catholic Church if you forever deny your sexual being and love Jesus instead. Sure, he might not cuddle you at night, and he certainly won’t tickle your balls, but you can rest easy knowing your invisible friend has made it impossible for you to live a fulfilled and full life. Hurray!

Evangelicals trying to influence Canadian politicians

If you think America has a monopoly on crazy religious fundies attempting to undermine the secular values of their governments, I’ve got some sad news for you: these nutjobs are also trying to influence Canadian politicians (the site is in French, just so you know).

Because they are well funded and well connected, these purveyors of nonsense find themselves with access to the highest levels of power in the government. Their mandate – to stifle abortion and stem cell research, among many other goals- would have disastrous consequences for the country.

I’m sure some of you think I’m overly rhetorical when I say how harmful, dangerous and subversive these people are, but it’s not an exaggeration to say their goal is to fundamentally change the governments they aim to influence. If we let them have their way, you can say goodbye to gay marriage, euthanasia laws, abortion, stem cell research, and the suppression of other religious minorities. Let these fuckers in, and they’ll totally take over the place.

Aussie atheist kids forced to take scripture class

I remember when I was a kid, I went to the only English elementary school in my hometown. Because of some stupid laws forcing most children to attend French school in my province, the only way to avoid this was by attending a Catholic school. Try as they might, they utterly failed to instill anything other than complete disdain for religion. Their pathetic religion failed to impress me even as a child, but that doesn’t mean I was a happy camper having this garbage shoved down my throat.

In a sense I’m happy that things worked out the way they did. As religious as the school was, it was pretty mild compared to the way some curricula are devised. Take South Coast, Australia. It seems atheist children are being forced to attend scripture class, even though their non-Christian religious counterparts are exempt from this torture.

One parent told the ABC her daughter came home distressed after being told God is going to burn the world, while another parent says her child walked out of class when the religious instructor claimed he could ‘cure’ homosexuals.

Man, I’m proud of that little guy that walked out of the class. There’s a fucking brave kid! It takes balls to stand up to people; most folks would have sit there quietly raging. Hearing that story at least makes me hopeful in the future, the next generation won’t stand for the kind of bigotry that’s still so prevalent today.

Religion continues to fight progress in France

If you thought a country like France was free from the influence of religion on their science programs, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. The government was planning on easing restriction on embryonic cell research, but the Catholic Church lobbied hard to prevent this, and it appears they’ve had some success.

“The Catholics have succeeded in imposing their view on embryos and seem to be succeeding in their attack on this method,” François Olivennes, a leading fertility expert, told Europe 1 radio. “We already have a very retrograde law compared to those in Spain, Britain, Belgium, Netherlands and all of Scandinavia. Nothing is advancing.”

This can of worms was opened after scientists produced a number of stem cells for a child suffering from a rare blood disorder. And because the Catholic Church opposes abortion due to some confused interpretation of their mythology book, they feel compelled to arrest the development of life saving technology.

If they were still in control, do you have any doubt medical science would essentially grind to a halt? I think this nonsense is a wakeup call for Western countries. Our religious institutions are effectively preventing a vital branch of science from progressing simply because of their idiotic dogmas. In their deluded minds they think they are saving “babies” from annihilation, but in reality they only further our misery in their tireless efforts to save a few blastulas.

Rape victim dies after public flogging

Imagine you’re a 14 year old girl and you get raped by your much older cousin. Now imagine that you’re living in a country ruled by Sharia Law. While in the secular world you have the chance of some justice (like the incarceration of the felon), if you happen to live in a country where the religion of Islam is supreme, the best you can hope for is to survive the 100 lashes you would receive for the crime of adultery.

Unfortunately for Hena Begum of Bangladesh, who was handed out the punishment by the town’s ruling Muslim council. she was only able to endure 80 before collapsing and dying in the hospital due to her severe injuries. Justice is served, everyone!

To add insult to injury, he father had to pay a fine of $700. Luckily, Bangladesh’s authorities are getting involved, since Sharia Law is illegal. It’s too little too late in a country where the local mullahs rule in an unofficial capacity.

Congratulations, Islam, on succeeding brilliantly in demonstrating just how barbaric, backwards, and unjust your religion is. Why not celebrate by infibulating a young woman entering puberty for the sake of posterity?

More Vintage Carl Sagan

Carl Sagan and what appears to be a pirate/astronomer discuss the search for extra-terrestrial life, and why the advances of science obliterates belief.

“It used to be possible to believe in a personal, benevolent, powerful all-knowing god…but now there are very few people who believe that”. Man, I wish that was true, Carl. I think at that time he may have been a little isolated from what life is like for people who don’t spend their time studying the Universe. It’s always easy to be ignorant.

Mormon Elder claims Freedom of Religion in jeopardy

There are two things that will never change in this world: 1) people will always have reasons to hate others, and 2) religions will always provide a way to make this exceedingly easy.

Take the Mormon Church for example: they’ve been diligently working to ensure that gays and lesbians aren’t allowed to marry out of the ridiculous notion that doing so “violates” the sanctity of marriage. Because of a few passages in the Bible (next to the ones that condone slavery and selling your daughter for money), Mormons have fought tooth and nail to deny the rights of their fellow human beings.

And because they are convinced of the superiority of their ideas, they now feel as though their OWN rights are being violated when society tells them politely to go fuck themselves. They recognize the way the tide is shifting, and it’s not something that’s a pleasant prospect. Tolerance, it seems, is not that Christian a virtue.

One of their elders recently said that as gays get the rights they deserve, the Church’s religious freedoms are being threatened:

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, one of 12 leaders, known as apostles, who help govern the Mormon Church, delivered his message Friday in a speech at Chapman University in Orange: The 1st Amendment right to freedom of religion is under siege, he said, threatened by a growing secularization of society and constrained by the inroads made by a vigorous gay rights movement.

“For some time,” he said, “we have been experiencing laws and official actions that impinge on religious freedom.”

Oaks, a former law professor and Utah Supreme Court justice, has been making speeches along these lines for more than 25 years, and says the climate has been getting worse for religious rights. “It was apparent 25 years ago, and it is undeniable today,” he said.

It’s funny he didn’t say 35 years ago, when the Mormon church didn’t allow black men to be ordained into the priesthood (and they weren’t allowed to be included in their “celestial marriages” either). You might recall that their racism was a direct result of their own religious conviction. Sound familiar?

Hey, it would be fucking effortless for Mormons to abandon their own bigotry and get with the program. In 1978, elders said they had received a “revelation” decreeing that African Americans were suddenly granted the same rights as everyone else in their church; this after strong public pressure to change their policies. It’s easy to change your stupid dogma when you’re just making shit up, isn’t it?

Dawkins doesn’t mince words

I love the last sentence when he says of Kurt Wise (a young-earth creationist with a PHD in geology):

“You cannot argue with a mind like that. A mind like that, it seems to me, is a disgrace to the human species”.

Snap!

Another idiot claims atheism is a religion

Religious people are hilarious. How many times have we been accused of being “just another religion”? I imagine just stating this baseless canard must be a way for them to feel comforted by the idea that atheists base their beliefs on the same dogmatic mechanism they use. Unfortunately for them, it’s ludicrously easy to demonstrate just how wrong this idea is.

I fell upon an article this morning claiming that atheism is a religion (it wakes you up better than coffee). I thought it might be fun to pick apart these 8 pathetic arguments one by one, for your reading pleasure. I also suggest reading the comments, as I’m not the only one who’s done this.

1. They have their own worldview. Materialism (the view that the material world is all there is) is the lens through which atheists view the world. Far from being the open-minded, follow-the-evidence-wherever thinkers they claim to be, they interpret all data ONLY within the very narrow worldview of materialism. They are like a guy wearing dark sunglasses who chides all others for thinking the sun is out.

2. They have their own orthodoxy. Orthodoxy is a set of beliefs acceptable to a faith community. Just as there are orthodox Christian beliefs, there is an atheist orthodoxy as well. In brief, it is that EVERYTHING can be explained as the product of unintentional, undirected, purposeless evolution. No truth claim is acceptable if it cannot be subjected to scientific scrutiny.

3. They have their own brand of apostasy. Apostasy is to abandon one’s former religious faith. Antony Flew was for many years one of the world’s most prominent atheists. And then he did the unthinkable: he changed his mind. You can imagine the response of the “open-minded, tolerant” New Atheist movement. Flew was vilified. Richard Dawkins accused Flew of “tergiversation.” It’s a fancy word for apostasy. By their own admission, then, Flew abandoned their “faith.”

4. They have their own prophets: Nietzsche, Russell, Feuerbach, Lenin, Marx.

5. They have their own messiah: He is, of course, Charles Darwin. Darwin – in their view – drove the definitive stake through the heart of theism by providing a comprehensive explanation of life that never needs God as a cause or explanation. Daniel Dennett has even written a book seeking to define religious faith itself as merely an evolutionary development.

6. They have their own preachers and evangelists. And boy, are they “evangelistic.” Dawkins, Dennett, Harris, and Hitchens (Speaking of which, our prayers goes out to Christopher Hitchens in hopes of a speedy recovery for his cancer, we need more time with him Lord) are NOT out to ask that atheism be given respect.

7. They are seeking converts. They are preaching a “gospel” calling for the end of theism.

8. They have faith. That’s right, faith. They would have you believe the opposite. Their writings ridicule faith, condemn faith. Harris’s book is called The End of Faith. But theirs is a faith-based enterprise. The existence of God cannot be proven or disproven. To deny it takes faith. Evolution has no explanation for why our universe is orderly, predictable, measurable. In fact (atheistic) evolutionary theory has no rational explanation for why there is such a thing as rational explanation. There is no accounting for the things they hope you won’t ask: Why do we have self-awareness? What makes us conscious? From what source is there a universal sense of right and wrong? They just take such unexplained things by … faith

.

1. So a world-view constitute a religion now? Religious people “postulate” a world that exists beyond what we can measure. They have the gall to call this imaginary world “supernatural” (as in “above nature). We simply chose to reject a notion that offers nothing in the way of proof. Materialism is simply postulating that everything in the Universe is the result of material interactions. So far, it’s the only explanation that holds any water.

2. If something needs to be subjected to scientific scrutiny, then it’s not orthodoxy. That word is defined as “of, pertaining to, or conforming to the approved form of any doctrine, philosophy, ideology, etc.” By its very definition, Orthodoxy is not open to debate or refinement. All beliefs must conform to previously held dogma. This is the very opposite of the way science work.

3. We’ll admit to being surprised if someone goes from atheism to theist, but that’s mostly because of how utterly rare it is. There’s certainly no punishment for it, and the only thing you lose is respect from fellow intellectuals. Where are the Inquisition and death threats you get from religions?

4. Nietzsche wasn’t an atheist (at least not a self professed one), and if you think Bertrand Russell is a prophet, then I think you’re profoundly confused as to what the word actually means. Prophets conjure messages they claim come from a supernatural entity. Philosophers attempt to use epistemology (the theory of how we know things) when formulating theories. Prophets just make shit up.

5. Charles Darwin, the anointed one who died for your sins, people! No doubt we can agree that evolution destroyed the religious argument for design, but that hardly makes Darwin messianic. The idea of evolution wasn’t new by the time Darwin postulated his theory of descent with modification, and isn’t even a hard one to grasp (if your mind isn’t polluted by religious dogma). We may respect him, but we certainly don’t revere him, or consider him our “Lord”.

6 +7. By this guy’s definition, someone trying to spread the word about vaccines and their benefits is “evangelizing”. We don’t use threats of hellfire, damnation, promise of eternal bliss for conversion, or any other tactic that religions use to try and “convert” people. We simply use reasoned arguments and logic to destroy superstitious notions about the world. What people do with that information is up to them.

8. If it required faith to believe in evolution, then it wouldn’t be science. Science is based on testable hypotheses. If you doubt the validity of the idea, you’re free to research it for yourself. Faith is not about questioning anything; it’s the persistent belief in a dogma DESPITE evidence to the contrary. That’s why whenever you have a conversation with a theist, they’ll fall back on this word as though it means something. “You can’t question my faith”. If an evolutionary biologist ever said that concerning a particular pet theory about some evolutionary process, he’d be laughed at.

While it’s true that we have only conjecture about consciousness and the evolution of morality (though still strongly supported by evolutionary mechanisms), this does not mean that religious ideas are therefor correct. They offer nothing in the way of verifiability, and are therefore invalid. The only recourse for believers is to disregard any competing idea in favor of a rigid persistence to maintain their belief structure. We call this process “faith”

Stephen Fry is awesome

I want to someday be invited to his show. It looks like a smashingly good time, doesn’t it?

Confessions made easy!

Too busy to head on over to your Church to confess your “sins”? Don’t worry; the Catholic Church has endorsed a new app that allows you to do it right from your iPhone with Confession: A Roman Catholic App. We live in an interesting time, people.

For those of you worried your disgusting or totally inappropriate behavior might be casually read by a family member or friend, it’s password protected:

Designed to be used in the confessional, this app is the perfect aid for every penitent. With a personalized examination of conscience for each user, password protected profiles, and a step-by-step guide to the sacrament, this app invites Catholics to prayerfully prepare for and participate in the Rite of Penance. Individuals who have been away from the sacrament for some time will find Confession: A Roman Catholic App to be a useful and inviting tool.

Amazing. You can choose from over 7 different acts of contrition, and add sins not already listed (for those of you that have done some really fucked up shit).

I feel like a fool for not getting on this App bandwagon sooner. If you can charge 2 bucks a pop to make people dance around like monkeys for their perceived sin, surely I can make one that’s equally stupid and make a fortune, right?

Aid monies used to pay for Pope’s UK visit

If you’re unaware of this, I apologize in advance for increasing the amount of catecholamines (that’s a chemical neurotransmitter secreted by your amygdala) circulating in your brain.

Remember a few months back, when the Pope decided to come to Britain and the tap was picked up by taxpayers? Well, it turns out a big chunk of the costs actually came from the Department for International Development (about 2 million pounds of it to be exact). That’s the same department responsible for using funds to help developing countries financially.

If you’re wondering how they can justify taking money away from the poor to subsidize one of the wealthiest organization in the world, you forget government officials are masters of bullshit:

DFID said it was one of a number of government departments that part – funded the Pope’s visit.

“Our contribution recognized the Catholic Church’s role as a major provider of health and education services in developing countries. This money does not constitute official development assistance and is therefore additional to the Coalition Government’s historic commitment to meet the 0.7 per cent UN aid target from 2013.”

The committee also warned that the higher priority being given in aid spending to war zones and other fragile states would make it harder to be sure taxpayers’ cash was being well spent.

Oh, I see. Because aid monies are occasionally embezzled by corrupt governments, it’s really no big deal, right? You might as well give it to a guy who literally eats on gold plates and has precious jewels woven into his clothing. Sounds totally reasonable to me!

The total cost of the Pope’s visit ended up costing you over £10 million, and in a time when the UK is considering cutting vital education services in order to make up for shortfalls in the budget. The public should be outraged over this complete waste of everyone’s money. Next time the Pope wants to take a trip somewhere, I think it’s just wiser to deny him entry unless he wants to pay for his own fucking vacation. Is that really too much to ask?

The Tutor

Ok, so the animation is a little crude, but the girl who plays the tutor is smoking hot, no? That alone is worth the price of admission. Word of advice, if the creators of the video happen to fall on this site for some weird reason: lose the beard. He wasted precious screen time with his face while we could have benefited more from supreme hotness.

Ted Haggard says he’d be bisexual if he was 21

Oh Ted, when will you stop living an atrocious lie. The former pastor, disgraced after he was caught doing meth with a gay prostitute (who made a killing selling a book about the affair), now claims he’s really just bisexual in an interview with GQ magazine. Although he might be telling the truth, I find it far more likely poor Ted is busy trying to reconcile his latent homosexuality with the fact he’s married, has children, and devoted his entire life to a book that condemns his sexual orientation.

He also claimed the Bible says homosexuality “is not God’s best plan for people”. That’s just a more diplomatic way of again making gays and lesbians feel as though their sexual orientation is a choice rather than something they are born with.

I’ve got a piece of advice for you Ted, but you’re not going to like it. Abandon your shitty religion. You’ll feel a hell of a lot better once you stop trying to reconcile your beliefs with your need to masturbate other men for pleasure. You’ll stop torturing yourself for being born with a craving for muscle instead of fatty mammary glands. Don’t forget Teddy, the same book that says homosexuality is a sin also says you should stone people who work on Sunday and kids who talk back. Is that really the best guide for modern living?