Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Christians are crybabies

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I’m sure most of you have heard Christians trying in vain to defend themselves regarding the tenents of their faith, arguing just because they believe in the supernatural, doesn’t mean they are idiots. It’s true stupid beliefs don’t automatically make you dumb, but to be fair, they doesn’t exactly make you look like a genius, does it?

The “War on Christmas” as Christians like to call it, is starting to heat up. American Atheists put up this billboard in New Jersey, and already you can hear the whimpers of religious sheep who feel as though non-believers are unfairly attacking their faith.

Mary Elizabeth Willaims from Salon.com feels as though the big meany message of “you know it’s a myth” is unnecessarily targeting Christians and labeling them as idiots:

How about acknowledging that traditions and rituals can be a means of honoring ideologies that are far more subtle and complex than a chorus of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”?

Or to put it another way, how about considering that faith and reason are not always in direct opposition, or that anyone who believes in anything is not automatically a myth-embracing moron?

To be fair, I don’t see the billboard accusing anyone of actually being a moron; that’s just you projecting, Mary. And no, faith and reason aren’t compatible at all, since one is the rejection of evidence in favor of a pre-determined conviction while the other is fact-based.

Sorry we have to be the “bad guys” and point out Christianity didn’t invent the practice of celebrating the winter solstice. If believers feel being honest about what we believe is offensive, then perhaps they should subscribe to ideas which have at least some basis in objective reality. We’re sick and tired of their bullshit myths, and we’re not going to take it anymore!

Religion is for fatties

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You know the stereotype that religious people are mostly poor, uneducated and overweight? Well, it looks like there might be something to it. A new book entitled “Born Atheist” compiled two different studies on religiosity and obesity, and unsurprisingly, found the fattest states also turned out to be the most religious.

The CalorieLab 2010 obesity report, based on statistics compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, indicates the most overweight states, in order, are Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Arkansas, South Carolina and North Carolina. All the way down at No. 50, the leanest state is Colorado.

Compare this result with a 2008 Gallup poll of more than 355,000 adult Americans on how important religion is in people’s lives. The top 10 religious states are Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas, Georgia, North Carolina, Oklahoma and, finally, Kentucky in a tie with Texas.

The only oddball state was Colorado, which is the leanest state but is still moderately religious. My theory is with all those mountains around, it’s hard to stay chubby.

UN votes to have Gays lose Protection against Execution

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Seems like every other day, the UN proves just how much it’s willing to cater to the demands of irrational and prejudiced nations. The latest scandal involves 79 countries that have taken upon that have taken upon themselves the task of “eradicating” homosexuality. The step backwards in human rights was the amendment of a resolution against unlawful executions that removed gays from this prohibition.

…this year, the new version was passed minus the reference to gay rights. This was because a group of mostly African and Asian countries, voted to remove it. 79 countries that voted to remove the reference to sexual orientation from the resolution, including Uganda, Afghanistan, China, Cuba, North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. Most Western countries, including the US, voted in favor of keeping the reference to sexual orientation in place. The US abstained from the final vote to approve the resolution, with American diplomats telling the UN that the US was “dismayed” at the decision.

I feel like the world is currently experiencing a slide when it comes to gay rights, and I place the blame squarely on religion. Is it a coincidence the majority of the countries who voted for this bullshit resolution happen to be extremely religious? Not in the slightest.

The Anti-Christ gives an interview

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I know, this is almost too painful to watch, but there’s something fascinating about watching this obvious train-wreck. For starters, how fucking polite is this piss-ant Anti-Christ? If I wore a crazy executioner’s mask with a fedora, I would have totally nailed the part.

NOTE: Best line: (when asked if he likes power) “It’s delightful”

Pay up, you deadbeats

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Churches in the US are hurting. Not only is tithing at an all time low, now, in an effort to fill their coffers, many have decided to try and expand in hip new directions in order to make more money. A few Churches have created coffee shops and even gyms as a way of attracting new faces. Of course, with all this additional income, the much sought-after tax exemption of some churches are being contested, including one in Nashville, Tennessee that refuses to pay over 400k in taxes for their various side businesses, which includes a gym, bookstore and café:

The Tennessee State Board of Equalization, which decides tax exemptions for churches, contends those are commercial enterprises, so the portion of church property they occupy can be taxed.

The 2,300-member Christ Church insists that’s an outdated view of how churches operate, and those enterprises should be considered part of ministerial outreach.

What a load of bullshit. A gym is part of their “outreach”? Maybe if the gym was free and people were forced to pray with every bench press, but as it stands, it’s clearly a for-profit business. I already loath the fact these ass-clowns already get tax exemption for tricking idiots out of their hard-earned money. Now they want to open up countless side businesses and still benefit from tax exemption?

Pay your fucking bills, you deadbeat losers!

Father loses custody battle due to agnosticism

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I often get asked by friends “what’s the big deal about not believing in God?” I happen to live in a fairly secular country where, for the most part, my lack of religious faith isn’t a problem. I think, however, these friends could benefit from travelling to different countries where this isn’t the case.

Turns out you don’t need to go too far to find people’s lives being affected by their lack of faith in a negative way. Craig Scarberry lives in Indianapolis and has 3 kids. Like most divorced dads, he shared custody with his ex-wife. Well, he did, until a judge found out he was an agnostic, and suddenly his time with his kids was cut to only 4 hours a week and every other weekend.

Searching to find out why, he found Judge George Pancol wrote, “the father did not participate in the same religious training as the mother, and noted that the father was agnostic. It goes on to say that when the father considered himself a Christian, the parties were able to communicate relatively effectively.

But surely, you ask, there are secular organizations that could try and help him out in this matter. Well, not so much:

The Indiana Civil Liberties Union says it has not been contacted regarding this case. Scarberry told Fox59 he tried to involve the ICLU but he was told the organization did not intervene in custody matters.

Pope says condoms are “ok” in some situations

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No, you aren’t dreaming or suffering from hallucinations; in a new book, the Pope has admitted that condom use may not be the big scary soul-sucking bogeyman the Vatican has claimed it is. Of course, it’s not like the Pope promised to distribute condoms to AIDS riddled Africa anytime soon, even though their own moral blindness on this issue has caused the death of untold millions.

The Pope gives the example of the use of condoms by male prostitutes as “a first step towards moralization”, even though condoms are “not really the way to deal with the evil of HIV infection”.

He says that the “sheer fixation on the condom implies a banalization of sexuality” where sexuality is no longer an expression of love, “but only a sort of drug that people administer to themselves”.

I’m so sick of this bullshit the Catholic Church fights to ensure that sex is merely an expression of love. They want everyone to have their kind of sex: missionary, for procreation only, and not with anyone of the same sex. Sounds pretty dull, am I right?

As for his statement that condom use isn’t the best “solution” for the evils of AIDS, what the hell else is supposed to work? Telling people they are going to hell for slamming their private parts together doesn’t do the trick. You need to stop living in a fantasy land and realize human beings are built to fuck like bunnies, and plan accordingly, jackass.

Global Warming denier claims God will protect us

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With the GOP back in power in the House, religious fundies are free to get appointed to important committees they are completely unqualified to run. Here we see Rep. John Shimkus (R-Ill.) as he argues in 2009 humans have nothing to fear from climate change, as God has promised in the Bible not to destroy mankind again (except of course when he comes back down to earth to kill most of us). So what job does this idiot want? To chair the House Energy and Commerce committee, or course!

I can’t imagine a person more suited to help move America into the future with renewable energy than someone who thinks an invisible man in the sky pinky-swore not to kill us all, and will somehow fix all of our problems in the distant future. You fucking voted this idiot into office, America. Congrats!

Christian propaganda against same-sex marriage

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Ok, just to be clear, it’s doubtful most of you guys will be able to stomach the entirety of this video. The video was produced by The Knights of Columbus in conjunction with the Archdioceses of Minnesota. It was distributed shortly before the November 2nd elections happened to scare bigoted old people into voting for Republican candidates who would ensure gays and lesbians would not have the same right to marry as other citizens.

My favorite line in the whole video series is in Part 2, where one guy said:

“If same sex marriage becomes the law, then those who oppose increasinly will be viewed as bigots.”

What exactly do you think the meaning of the word is, moron?

Bigoted Cardinal accuses gays of discrimination

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You have to love Catholics: the more they are exposed as the homophobic, sexual predator harboring bigots they are, the more they go on the offensive, accusing everyone in sight of “discriminating” against them. The Vatican knows a good offense is the best defense (blood libel and the Crusades comes to mind here), and this is just them playing the old “blame game”. It doesn’t matter that the only ones actually discriminating is the Church; this isn’t exactly an organization that gives a shit about annoying things like “the truth”. The latest outrageously ignorant shit coming out of the Catholic Church is a statement by a Cardinal that Christians are being persecuted by gays, and no, this isn’t some kind of sick joke:

Freedom of thought and expression is under threat from the gay rights movement, said Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, the retired archbishop of Bologna, in memoirs that are published on Thursday. And the result is that those people who disagreed with the homosexual agenda are being ostracized by society, he said.

Is it still permitted … to be faithful and consistent disciples of the teaching of Christ … or must we prepare ourselves for a new form of persecution, promoted by homosexual activists, by their ideological accomplices, and even by those whose task it should be to defend the intellectual freedom of all, including Christians?”

Damn the gays and their bullshit agenda to gain the same rights as their hetero counterparts! I mean, Christians should have the intellectual freedom to discriminate against jews, umm, I mean gays without fear of being called antisemitic (sorry, I mean homophobic), am I right?

This whole thing makes me think about an article written by a young gay teen who warns of the psychological impact of being vilified and hated your whole life.

And all of you who don’t have to undergo this horror daily, it’s up to you to help. Don’t stand by and let hatred go on. Don’t sit back and watch your friends be discriminated against. Reach out and help those who might need it.

That article, by the way, was taken down by administrators at his school in Minnesota. You can’t have this kind of gay propaganda floating around the Internet! Why, it might just make suicidal teens think twice about blowing their heads off from all the pain, shame and isolation they feel. Better to let guys like Cardinal Biffi continue to “express” their intellectual freedom unhindered, right?

Or maybe all of this is a call to arms for the rest of us who allow pieces of shit like Biffi to spew his filthy hatred without consequence. Let’s defend our friends and loved ones who have to battle against these fuckfaces, shall we?

James Dobson is a crazy old man

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When you think of today’s Republican party, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Some might say “less government regulation”, or “opposition to homosexuality”. One thing is for sure: few will deny the powerful collusion of the religious right in the policies and decisions the party makes. They know how important that base is, and they cater to it. In fact, if you want a perfect example of this, look no further than John McCain, who went from principled and decent to Christian lapdog in just a few short years.

So you would think everything is hunky-dory over at the major headquarters of Right Wingers, but apparently the GOP isn’t doing enough for some. Enter James Dobson, who for the last few days has dedicated his radio show to various speeches he’s written over the years criticizing Republicans for ignoring basic “moral principles” in order to become elected. Here’s the final portion of his speech:

It’s a lack of conviction that there is a boss to the universe and that there are moral standards that we are held to and we need officials who will stand up and represent them. What that conveys to the constituency I’m talking about is that principle does not matter, it’s party over principle. That there are some things that you stand for whether it is popular or politically astute to do so or not. That’s what that pro-moral community stands for.

And yet it seemed to me that what I heard from the Republicans in Indian Wells was we cannot have power if we stand on principle – please don’t take away our power. What good is it to have power if you don’t use it for good?

The Republican Party was born in the crucible of conviction and courage and moral righteousness, that’s where the Republican Party started. It took a stand against slavery in a day that cost six hundred thousand lives in the Civil War. But they knew is was wrong and they took a stand on it, whether win, lose, or draw, that’s God’s business. They took a stand on what was right.

If the party has left that and it is now going to mouth these two things every two years and then go on to something else, I think we need to look for another. And it would be tragic if that happened. I don’t want that to happen. There are many state houses of government where Republicans will suffer if that happens. It will be a disaster for the country, but somebody said “if you do that, you have no voice at all.” I don’t think we have a voice now. I can’t hear the voice.

Ah yes, the old “The Republican Party fought to end slavery” line. Too bad that the party has since done a complete 180 in terms of its political ideology, otherwise he might actually have a point. In any case, it only brings up the fact that as we speak, Republicans are on the wrong side of history concerning gay marriage and civil rights in general. This, I suspect, is due primarily to the GOP courting the most racist, bigoted segment of American society. Being in bed with these people has fundamentally altered the party, and because of this, Republicans run the risk of alienating future voters as they will continue to be seen as the political party for our embarrassingly out of touch grandparents.

Thank you James, for reminding us who really pulls the strings of the Republican party now.

War on swine reaches UK toy store

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Toy store “Early Learning Center” in the UK has removed the plastic pigs in their children’s toy farm out of fear it might offend Jewish and Muslim parents. Of course, “Happyland” still contains the sty, complete with a button that makes an oinking sign when pressed. Talk about confusing!

Luckily, some people have their heads screwed on right (well, mostly):

Fellow Muslim mum Natasha added: “If you don’t want your kid playing with a pig toy, simply throw it in the bin. Other kids should not have to suffer.” Netmums’ founder Siobhan Freegard said: “Removing pigs from farm sets is like introducing ‘Baa Baa White Sheep’ and calling Christmas ‘The Winter Holiday.’ Please let common sense prevail.”

Sure, 1/5 of the world thinks these animals are unclean, but these same folks also feel the same way about dogs, shrimp, and certain kinds of birds, all because their ignorant make-believe books tell them so! Perhaps one day swine will not be such a mortal enemy that it’s left out of toy farms, but that day has not yet come. Until then, I say destroy the pink ones from the face of this earth!

Christian Internet nanny protects you from the “dark side”

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Are you tired of you and your loved ones having infinite access to the Internet? Are you worried that your children might accidentally encounter the devil and his filthy temptations online? Then Total Net Guard is the Internet service provider you’ve been waiting for!

You might be wondering if this is the right service for you. What kinds of dangers exist online for Christians? Well, the answer may surprise you:

At AFO we currently have over 20 million sites blocked in categories including porn, vulgarity, gambling, violent games, chat rooms. etc. Seven to ten thousand additional sites are added to the filter list each day.

There are currently almost seven thousand Internet Service Providers nationwide and only three hundred offer a filtering of any kind. Some interesting comparisons of Internet site content tells us who “owns” the Internet…The web contains:

  • 7.9 million game sites compared to one million churches
  • 5.7 million adult sites as opposed to 1.9 million ministry sites
  • 3.2 million gay and only a little over 13,000 pro-family sites
  • 179,000 occult sites competing against 47,000 youth groups of any kind
  • 44,500 Howard Stern sites to 11,700 sites for Dr. James Dobson
  • 1 million Madonna (material girl) sites mocking 13,900 for Mother Theresa
  • 305,000 Bill Clinton sites versus 49,000 for Pope John Paul II

It is clear that Satan and the secular humanist world “own” the Internet.

So apparently, we secularists are totally in cahoots with Satan and Bill Clinton (who may in fact be the same person). For an extra 10 bucks a month, you can let Total Net Guard into your life, allowing the company to perpetually narrow the amount of choices you have. In fact, you can even ask the company to block pages they might otherwise allow. Check out some of these powerful testimonials:

“Thank you for your faithfulness in controlling the viewed pages over the Internet. I am behind you all the way.”

“You are doing the Godly thing by blocking these sites. I requested Facebook to be blocked due to a sexual matter and with out hesitation you blocked it for me. Thank you for doing what is right!!!!!!!!!!!”

See how happy people are when choices are taken away? I mean, that last testimonial was from a medical doctor, and he used over 10 exclamation marks. That’s gotta count for something, right?

(Update: The site and service no longer exists)

Are Skeptics feeling left out in the cold?

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The relationship between skepticism and atheism is complicated. For starters, skepticism is a process with which you evaluate information and claims, while atheism is merely the absence of belief in the supernatural claims of various religions in regard to a “higher power”. Despite the fact we all agree that skepticism is more of a “toolkit” to evaluate claims rather than an actual belief, invariably there are bound to be strong correlations between hard-nosed skepticism and disbelief in God.

There are serious skeptics who are religious, and undoubtedly these people are upset skeptic conventions are being dominated entirely by religious discussions. Jeff Wagg feels strongly about the fact Skepticon is being invaded with talks that, while critical of religious belief, may have too little to do with skepticism. He called his article “Are Atheists Delusional”. I’ll answer that question Jeff. No, we really aren’t.

Yes, there are many aspects of skepticism which have nothing to do with religion. I think, however, the biggest issue today is how uncritical, faith based reasoning has allowed the majority of the population of this planet to associate themselves with one religion or another. Their beliefs, unsupported by any evidence, are so sacred that society is expected to tolerate and even celebrate views which are, more often than not, in complete opposition to science and skepticism in general.

I think the bigger problem here is the inclusion of atheism is creating a divide in a community that also has religious believers as members. The perhaps uncomfortable discussion which never seems to take place, namely that faith is in direct opposition to skepticism, is now front and center, and it’s bound to leave a lot of folks angry about the “atheist takeover”.

Jeff claims skepticism is entirely a “scientific endeavor”, and God is an untestable hypothesis beyond the purview of skepticism, but that’s simply untrue. Religions make claims about the physical world that are testable: prayer has an effect, a virgin gave birth to a human, and miracles happen, to name only a few. Sure, the Spinozan God is abstract, impersonal, and untestable, but so is the flying spaghetti monster and we have no qualms about rejecting these kinds of hypothesis. Why does religion and God get a free ride on this skeptic train?

If you’re religious and a skeptic, I’m sorry to say you’re shitty at both. Rejecting the claims of iridology, homeopathy, and acupuncture but accepting a god-man was born of a virgin and resurrected after his physical death, means that you really haven’t been applying the “toolkit of skepticism” to all aspects of your belief. Odds are you compartmentalized that part of your beliefs in order to avoid uncomfortable questions about your own faith. It sucks for those skeptics out there who also have a belief in God, but as a species we can’t keep coddling childish beliefs that enslave minds. You may not like it, but trust me when I say the atheist invasion has just begun. Is it a coincidence that Skepticon is now bigger than TAM and CFI’s conferences?

Hitler the atheist (the quiz show)

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Man, talk about a complete smackdown over the argument that Hitler was an atheist. I’m normally not a fan of videos of that length, but it’s pretty damn complete in terms of an argument, and it’s funny to boot. Enjoy!