Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Global Warming denier claims God will protect us

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With the GOP back in power in the House, religious fundies are free to get appointed to important committees they are completely unqualified to run. Here we see Rep. John Shimkus (R-Ill.) as he argues in 2009 humans have nothing to fear from climate change, as God has promised in the Bible not to destroy mankind again (except of course when he comes back down to earth to kill most of us). So what job does this idiot want? To chair the House Energy and Commerce committee, or course!

I can’t imagine a person more suited to help move America into the future with renewable energy than someone who thinks an invisible man in the sky pinky-swore not to kill us all, and will somehow fix all of our problems in the distant future. You fucking voted this idiot into office, America. Congrats!

Christian propaganda against same-sex marriage

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Ok, just to be clear, it’s doubtful most of you guys will be able to stomach the entirety of this video. The video was produced by The Knights of Columbus in conjunction with the Archdioceses of Minnesota. It was distributed shortly before the November 2nd elections happened to scare bigoted old people into voting for Republican candidates who would ensure gays and lesbians would not have the same right to marry as other citizens.

My favorite line in the whole video series is in Part 2, where one guy said:

“If same sex marriage becomes the law, then those who oppose increasinly will be viewed as bigots.”

What exactly do you think the meaning of the word is, moron?

Bigoted Cardinal accuses gays of discrimination

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You have to love Catholics: the more they are exposed as the homophobic, sexual predator harboring bigots they are, the more they go on the offensive, accusing everyone in sight of “discriminating” against them. The Vatican knows a good offense is the best defense (blood libel and the Crusades comes to mind here), and this is just them playing the old “blame game”. It doesn’t matter that the only ones actually discriminating is the Church; this isn’t exactly an organization that gives a shit about annoying things like “the truth”. The latest outrageously ignorant shit coming out of the Catholic Church is a statement by a Cardinal that Christians are being persecuted by gays, and no, this isn’t some kind of sick joke:

Freedom of thought and expression is under threat from the gay rights movement, said Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, the retired archbishop of Bologna, in memoirs that are published on Thursday. And the result is that those people who disagreed with the homosexual agenda are being ostracized by society, he said.

Is it still permitted … to be faithful and consistent disciples of the teaching of Christ … or must we prepare ourselves for a new form of persecution, promoted by homosexual activists, by their ideological accomplices, and even by those whose task it should be to defend the intellectual freedom of all, including Christians?”

Damn the gays and their bullshit agenda to gain the same rights as their hetero counterparts! I mean, Christians should have the intellectual freedom to discriminate against jews, umm, I mean gays without fear of being called antisemitic (sorry, I mean homophobic), am I right?

This whole thing makes me think about an article written by a young gay teen who warns of the psychological impact of being vilified and hated your whole life.

And all of you who don’t have to undergo this horror daily, it’s up to you to help. Don’t stand by and let hatred go on. Don’t sit back and watch your friends be discriminated against. Reach out and help those who might need it.

That article, by the way, was taken down by administrators at his school in Minnesota. You can’t have this kind of gay propaganda floating around the Internet! Why, it might just make suicidal teens think twice about blowing their heads off from all the pain, shame and isolation they feel. Better to let guys like Cardinal Biffi continue to “express” their intellectual freedom unhindered, right?

Or maybe all of this is a call to arms for the rest of us who allow pieces of shit like Biffi to spew his filthy hatred without consequence. Let’s defend our friends and loved ones who have to battle against these fuckfaces, shall we?

James Dobson is a crazy old man

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When you think of today’s Republican party, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Some might say “less government regulation”, or “opposition to homosexuality”. One thing is for sure: few will deny the powerful collusion of the religious right in the policies and decisions the party makes. They know how important that base is, and they cater to it. In fact, if you want a perfect example of this, look no further than John McCain, who went from principled and decent to Christian lapdog in just a few short years.

So you would think everything is hunky-dory over at the major headquarters of Right Wingers, but apparently the GOP isn’t doing enough for some. Enter James Dobson, who for the last few days has dedicated his radio show to various speeches he’s written over the years criticizing Republicans for ignoring basic “moral principles” in order to become elected. Here’s the final portion of his speech:

It’s a lack of conviction that there is a boss to the universe and that there are moral standards that we are held to and we need officials who will stand up and represent them. What that conveys to the constituency I’m talking about is that principle does not matter, it’s party over principle. That there are some things that you stand for whether it is popular or politically astute to do so or not. That’s what that pro-moral community stands for.

And yet it seemed to me that what I heard from the Republicans in Indian Wells was we cannot have power if we stand on principle – please don’t take away our power. What good is it to have power if you don’t use it for good?

The Republican Party was born in the crucible of conviction and courage and moral righteousness, that’s where the Republican Party started. It took a stand against slavery in a day that cost six hundred thousand lives in the Civil War. But they knew is was wrong and they took a stand on it, whether win, lose, or draw, that’s God’s business. They took a stand on what was right.

If the party has left that and it is now going to mouth these two things every two years and then go on to something else, I think we need to look for another. And it would be tragic if that happened. I don’t want that to happen. There are many state houses of government where Republicans will suffer if that happens. It will be a disaster for the country, but somebody said “if you do that, you have no voice at all.” I don’t think we have a voice now. I can’t hear the voice.

Ah yes, the old “The Republican Party fought to end slavery” line. Too bad that the party has since done a complete 180 in terms of its political ideology, otherwise he might actually have a point. In any case, it only brings up the fact that as we speak, Republicans are on the wrong side of history concerning gay marriage and civil rights in general. This, I suspect, is due primarily to the GOP courting the most racist, bigoted segment of American society. Being in bed with these people has fundamentally altered the party, and because of this, Republicans run the risk of alienating future voters as they will continue to be seen as the political party for our embarrassingly out of touch grandparents.

Thank you James, for reminding us who really pulls the strings of the Republican party now.

War on swine reaches UK toy store

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Toy store “Early Learning Center” in the UK has removed the plastic pigs in their children’s toy farm out of fear it might offend Jewish and Muslim parents. Of course, “Happyland” still contains the sty, complete with a button that makes an oinking sign when pressed. Talk about confusing!

Luckily, some people have their heads screwed on right (well, mostly):

Fellow Muslim mum Natasha added: “If you don’t want your kid playing with a pig toy, simply throw it in the bin. Other kids should not have to suffer.” Netmums’ founder Siobhan Freegard said: “Removing pigs from farm sets is like introducing ‘Baa Baa White Sheep’ and calling Christmas ‘The Winter Holiday.’ Please let common sense prevail.”

Sure, 1/5 of the world thinks these animals are unclean, but these same folks also feel the same way about dogs, shrimp, and certain kinds of birds, all because their ignorant make-believe books tell them so! Perhaps one day swine will not be such a mortal enemy that it’s left out of toy farms, but that day has not yet come. Until then, I say destroy the pink ones from the face of this earth!

Christian Internet nanny protects you from the “dark side”

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Are you tired of you and your loved ones having infinite access to the Internet? Are you worried that your children might accidentally encounter the devil and his filthy temptations online? Then Total Net Guard is the Internet service provider you’ve been waiting for!

You might be wondering if this is the right service for you. What kinds of dangers exist online for Christians? Well, the answer may surprise you:

At AFO we currently have over 20 million sites blocked in categories including porn, vulgarity, gambling, violent games, chat rooms. etc. Seven to ten thousand additional sites are added to the filter list each day.

There are currently almost seven thousand Internet Service Providers nationwide and only three hundred offer a filtering of any kind. Some interesting comparisons of Internet site content tells us who “owns” the Internet…The web contains:

  • 7.9 million game sites compared to one million churches
  • 5.7 million adult sites as opposed to 1.9 million ministry sites
  • 3.2 million gay and only a little over 13,000 pro-family sites
  • 179,000 occult sites competing against 47,000 youth groups of any kind
  • 44,500 Howard Stern sites to 11,700 sites for Dr. James Dobson
  • 1 million Madonna (material girl) sites mocking 13,900 for Mother Theresa
  • 305,000 Bill Clinton sites versus 49,000 for Pope John Paul II

It is clear that Satan and the secular humanist world “own” the Internet.

So apparently, we secularists are totally in cahoots with Satan and Bill Clinton (who may in fact be the same person). For an extra 10 bucks a month, you can let Total Net Guard into your life, allowing the company to perpetually narrow the amount of choices you have. In fact, you can even ask the company to block pages they might otherwise allow. Check out some of these powerful testimonials:

“Thank you for your faithfulness in controlling the viewed pages over the Internet. I am behind you all the way.”

“You are doing the Godly thing by blocking these sites. I requested Facebook to be blocked due to a sexual matter and with out hesitation you blocked it for me. Thank you for doing what is right!!!!!!!!!!!”

See how happy people are when choices are taken away? I mean, that last testimonial was from a medical doctor, and he used over 10 exclamation marks. That’s gotta count for something, right?

(Update: The site and service no longer exists)

Are Skeptics feeling left out in the cold?

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The relationship between skepticism and atheism is complicated. For starters, skepticism is a process with which you evaluate information and claims, while atheism is merely the absence of belief in the supernatural claims of various religions in regard to a “higher power”. Despite the fact we all agree that skepticism is more of a “toolkit” to evaluate claims rather than an actual belief, invariably there are bound to be strong correlations between hard-nosed skepticism and disbelief in God.

There are serious skeptics who are religious, and undoubtedly these people are upset skeptic conventions are being dominated entirely by religious discussions. Jeff Wagg feels strongly about the fact Skepticon is being invaded with talks that, while critical of religious belief, may have too little to do with skepticism. He called his article “Are Atheists Delusional”. I’ll answer that question Jeff. No, we really aren’t.

Yes, there are many aspects of skepticism which have nothing to do with religion. I think, however, the biggest issue today is how uncritical, faith based reasoning has allowed the majority of the population of this planet to associate themselves with one religion or another. Their beliefs, unsupported by any evidence, are so sacred that society is expected to tolerate and even celebrate views which are, more often than not, in complete opposition to science and skepticism in general.

I think the bigger problem here is the inclusion of atheism is creating a divide in a community that also has religious believers as members. The perhaps uncomfortable discussion which never seems to take place, namely that faith is in direct opposition to skepticism, is now front and center, and it’s bound to leave a lot of folks angry about the “atheist takeover”.

Jeff claims skepticism is entirely a “scientific endeavor”, and God is an untestable hypothesis beyond the purview of skepticism, but that’s simply untrue. Religions make claims about the physical world that are testable: prayer has an effect, a virgin gave birth to a human, and miracles happen, to name only a few. Sure, the Spinozan God is abstract, impersonal, and untestable, but so is the flying spaghetti monster and we have no qualms about rejecting these kinds of hypothesis. Why does religion and God get a free ride on this skeptic train?

If you’re religious and a skeptic, I’m sorry to say you’re shitty at both. Rejecting the claims of iridology, homeopathy, and acupuncture but accepting a god-man was born of a virgin and resurrected after his physical death, means that you really haven’t been applying the “toolkit of skepticism” to all aspects of your belief. Odds are you compartmentalized that part of your beliefs in order to avoid uncomfortable questions about your own faith. It sucks for those skeptics out there who also have a belief in God, but as a species we can’t keep coddling childish beliefs that enslave minds. You may not like it, but trust me when I say the atheist invasion has just begun. Is it a coincidence that Skepticon is now bigger than TAM and CFI’s conferences?

Hitler the atheist (the quiz show)

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Man, talk about a complete smackdown over the argument that Hitler was an atheist. I’m normally not a fan of videos of that length, but it’s pretty damn complete in terms of an argument, and it’s funny to boot. Enjoy!

100 lashes for pre-marital sex sounds reasonable

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A couple working in The United Arab Emirates were sentenced in a Sharia Court to 100 lashes for having “unlawful sex“. Because these two lovebirds were on a work visa, both will also eventually be deported for their crime. The man, a Bangladeshi Muslim, faces an extra year in jail for the offense of having sex with someone he liked outside of wedlock. Fun times.

How bad is 100 lashes? Well, it could have been a lot worse, considering the fact that the crime of “fornication” (called “Zina” in Arabic) can often mean a death sentence to women having sexual encounters, even if they are raped.

This reminds me of the ridiculous article I read in HuffPo where a Muslim woman was defending Sharia Law, claiming any abuse was actually the result of politics rather than religion. Yeah, cuz you know, the two are very distinct in the Middle East, am I right?

Richard Dawkins answers Reddit questions

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Reddit, that preferred social news website of godless heathens, got members to ask questions and some were answered by Richard Dawkins. How cool is that? If I could have asked a question, it would have been “how often do fine ladies hit on you at conferences?”

Biocentrism is creationism for hippies

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I’m so sick and tired of the argument that because Earth sits in a “Goldilocks” zone, this must somehow mean something significant. What are the odds, some like to speculate, all of this could be the product of chance? The answer, I would argue, is the same as every single hand you’ve ever been dealt in poker. If you try and work backwards to calculate the odds of whatever arbitrary hand you have being dealt in the same order, you would discover the odds are impossibly small. Does that mean you were never playing poker to begin with?

There’s a tendency for human beings to believe our existence means something special. We still think, for some fucking reason, the Universe was tailor made for us, rather than the other way around. I expect this type of fallacy from self centered apes, and yet every time I hear some new crackpot idea about the origin of the Universe involving us in some way, I generally feel embarrassed for humanity. If there is intelligent life out there in the Universe, I don’t want them thinking we all think the Cosmos revolves around our existence.

A recent article in The Huffington Post had me fuming this morning. It was written by Robert Lanza, who pioneered a theory called Biocentrism. If you aren’t familiar with it, in a nutshell, the idea is our consciousness creates the physical reality we see around us. Without someone to observe the Universe, it simply doesn’t exist. What’s used to prove this fucking nonsense? Why, it’s quantum mechanics, of course!

Here’s the deal: if your wacky theory is based on the strangeness of Quantum physics, you’ve already lost the debate. This is a metaphysical black hole where crackpot theories go to die in obscurity. In the tiny world of atoms, subatomic particles often act in surprising, and sometimes counter-intuitive ways. Electrons, for instance, don’t orbit around the nucleus of an atom the same way a planet orbits around a star (that’s just a model we use to visualize it); instead, it exists in a kind of “probability wave”, which collapses whenever it encounters an “observer” (when we try to measure its position and momentum we end up determining both).

This strange and wonderful quality of quantum physics makes the theory open to every would-be theorist. Enter Biocentrism: since we are technically observers, then it must mean the simple act of being conscious “creates” the reality around us. The basic principles are as follows:

1. Reality is the product of our consciousness.
2. Time doesn’t exist outside our own perception
3. The structure of the universe can only be understood through “biocentrism”. The Universe is fine-tuned for our existence, ergo it must have been created through our perception.

Like any good bullshit theory, it offers nothing in the way of falsifiability. Why should it? According to it’s founder, Robert Lanza, it’s far more irrational to think that our existence, and that of the Universe, is due to simple “chance”.

A. africanus, A. garhi, A. sediba, A. aethiopicus, A. robustus, A. boisei, Homo habilis, H. georgicus, and H. erectus — among other hominid species — all went extinct. Even the Neanderthals went extinct. But alas, not us! Indeed, we happen to be the only species of Hominina that made it… The story of evolution reads just like “The Story of the Three Bears,” In the nursery tale, a little girl named Goldilocks enters a home occupied by three bears and tries different bowls of porridge; some are too hot, some are too cold. She also tries different chairs and beds, and every time, the third is “just right.” For 13.7 billion years we, too, have had chronic good luck. Virtually everything has been “just right.”

Well, I don’t think 99% of all the species who have ever existed and got bitch-slapped by evolution would agree with you there Robby. And sure, most other Hominid species have gone extinct, but what’s to say we won’t either? Will anyone care about your dumb ideas when this hairless ape eventually goes the way of the dodo? Will the Universe end because we aren’t in it anymore? I feel like a fucking moron even asking these pointless questions!

A&E support pseudoscience

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I don’t watch cable television. It’s an expensive way to rot and deteriorate your mind, especially when shows like “Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal” make their way to the youtube. The show is set to air on A&E, the same channel which has that awful “Paranormal State” show where morons run around pretending to be scientists while they attempt to scare the crap out of each other.

Speaking of Paranormal State, the main “psychic” on the show is the same latent gay dude who runs around supposedly haunted houses and says spooky things like “someone died in a lot of pain here”. It must take supernatural abilities to know something that amazing, am I right? As you can see from the above video, Chip Coffey is on a mission to “help” these kids deal with their “abilities”. And by helping,  I mean this fraudulent sack of shit is deliberately deceiving people for the purpose of making money (be sure to check out his website. It looks like the 90’s threw up all over it).

If these kids are genuinely hearing voices, the last thing you want is a psychic fraud convincing them the voices they hear are really dead people trying to talk to them. They either need therapy, medication, or maybe both. Instead of actually bothering to care about the well being of these children, A&E has decided this mess makes good television.

It looks like the Skepchicks are trying to start a letter writing campaign, but I don’t see how A&E would change their minds about catering to New Agers who desperately want this kind of fantasy to be real. You can try joining them if you like; I’m just one of those pessimists who realizes the only thing that matters to TV stations are ratings, not integrity. There was a time when specialty channels like A&E, TLC and the Discovery Channel used to try and provide some educational merit, but those efforts were abandoned when it was discovered that you can’t get good ratings that way. Turns out America is full of dummies who hate it when shows make them feel stupid. Keep it dumb, and then no one feels bad about themselves! How else can you explain this kind of garbage TV?

Palestinian Authorities use Facebook to track down blasphemer

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We often joke about the “big brotherism” of Facebook and other social media, but it’s no laughing matter when these websites are used to track down apostates of Islam whose only “crime” is speaking their damn minds. Walid Husayin, a 26 year old barber in the West Bank, has been arrested and faces life imprisonment for insulting Muhammad. His friends and family are shocked he led a double life online, where thanks to his perceived anonymity, he blogged about his frustration over the terrible religion that is Islam.

Husayin used a fake name on his English and Arabic-language blogs and Facebook pages. After his mother discovered articles on atheism on his computer, she canceled his Internet connection in hopes that he would change his mind.

Instead, he began going to an Internet cafe — a move that turned out to be a costly mistake. The owner, Ahmed Abu-Asal, said the blogger aroused suspicion by spending up to seven hours a day in a corner booth. After several months, a café worker supplied captured snapshots of his Facebook pages to Palestinian intelligence officials.

Authorities used Facebook to uncover his identity, and now the local ignorant townsfolk want him “burned to death”. Yes, truly this is a religion of peace, a fucking beacon of tolerance!

What’s hilarious is while Muslims feel as though their faith is being attacked by the West, in truth the barbarism, intolerance to criticism and violent rhetoric of Islam is merely being exposed as a real threat to the civilized world. The problem is Islam cannot stand criticism, no matter how justified it is. It isn’t just fundamentalists who wish to murder apostates (or anyone for that matter who speaks ill of their founder); a significant portion of believers have a murderous commitment to their faith. They are like a petulant child carrying a loaded gun, and their dangerous outrage has no place in the modern world. Despite jailing or obliterating anyone who speaks ill of their religion, this pathetic faith continues to argue that they are a religion of peace. The proof is in the pudding, and they’re serving up Blutwurst, people.

Louisiana dummies shocked that kids are learning Evolution

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Ah, creationism; no matter how you dress it up, it’s still a steaming pile of horse shit. Every year it’s the same thing: a group of ignorant and highly religious parents become upset their children are actually receiving an education as to how life adapts and changes over time, and their reaction is to try and insert their creationist materials (which they hilariously call “intelligent design”) into classrooms. Once they start doing that, it becomes necessary to get the courts involved, and school boards with small budgets spend huge sums of money in the ensuing legal battles (remember the Dover trial? It cost 2 million bucks, and I’m sure lots of schools would be dying for that kind of money).

Now while big states like Texas get all the attention, Louisiana has decided it too wants to join in on all the fun. A number of citizens, backed by the Louisiana Family Forum (hey look, another conservative org with the word “family” in it), are attacking the state’s biology textbooks because they are teaching “too much evolution”.

Darrell White also told the Advocate that the textbooks don’t comply with the anti-evolution law known as the “Louisiana Science Education Act,” which the Family Forum helped write and successfully lobbied for in 2008. The LSEA instructs educators to promote “critical thinking skills, logical analysis, and open and objective discussion of scientific theories being studied including, but not limited to, evolution, the origins of life, global warming, and human cloning.” It also allows teachers and school districts to use “supplemental textbooks,” which are just code words for creationist and pro-intelligent design materials.

The losers in this whole thing are the kids, who as a consequence of all this nonsense end up having a shitty education. While Americans continue to wrestle with the incompatibility of their religion and objective reality, the rest of the world is passing them by at the speed of light. It’s hard to imagine what influence all of this “debate” will have on these students as they enter the global marketplace, but it’s not likely to be very good. How can you survive in a knowledge-based economy when your citizens keep filling their heads with superstitious bullshit?