Australia’s Education Minister bows to Christian lobby

Now I know a number of you Aussies are still gloating over the fact that your Prime Minister is a non-believer, but I’m sorry to announce to some of you this lack of belief doesn’t seem to be having much of an influence on policy. A few weeks ago, controversy erupted when it was suggested a new “humanism” course should be included in schools as an alternative to religious education. Christians freaked out naturally, and started accusing humanists of being no better than Satanists (I wish I was kidding about that one).

Despite the course being designed and ready to be implemented, Minister Bronwyn Pike rejected the proposal in an obvious attempt to placate powerful Christian lobbies.

There you have it folks: it’s as easy as that to kill secular programs. All you need is an army of rabid, uneducated zombies who insist a secular alternative to their nonsense is unacceptable. So students who “opt out” of the classes will still be stuck with their thumbs up their ass, waiting for their fellow students to be done being taught that an invisible man in the sky created the world for them.

Children who do not attend these sessions are not allowed to be taught anything their classmates might miss out on during this time, so they are often put in another room where they read or play on computers.

That sure sounds like religion’s handy work, right? They prefer students do nothing rather than learn about “…the art of living, the environment, philosophy, science and world citizenship.” With their powerful and influential vote, they’ve managed to shut down this program until someone with fucking balls tells them to keep their retarded, uneducated opinions to themselves. This is a pretty big fail moment, my Aussie friends…

Muslims furious over life conviction for MP stabber

Roshonara Choudhry would still be continuing her studies to become a teacher, if she hadn’t been seduced by Islamic fundamentalism. Instead of living a comfortably being a contributing member of society, she’ll be spending her life in jail for the attempted murder of MP Stephen Timms:

Choudhry stabbed Mr Timms, 55, with a kitchen knife at his constituency surgery. She told officers she had intended to kill him for his support of the Iraq war and would have “kept stabbing him until someone stopped me”.

So why did this otherwise shy girl decide to kill him? Turns out Timms had supported the Iraq War, and Chourdry decided it was time for a little jihad of her own.

The court heard that Choudhry had been radicalised by watching extremist internet videos of Anwar al-Awlaki, wanted over the cargo jet ink bombs.

Awlaki has made several speeches urging followers to do “what they could, when they could, no matter how small,” to help al-Qaida’s campaign of terror.

There was pandemonium as a protest erupted outside, presumably to support actions of Choudhry. One protester even shouted at a Muslim member of the jury, saying “shame on you sister…judging a Muslim sister”.

It seems as though you can’t even fucking convict an obviously deranged fundie without getting other members of this poisonous belief system upset. Yeah, I know there are plenty of Muslims who condemn this type of violence, but can you not see why everyone in Europe is flipping out over similar problems? Your co-religionists are acting insane, and it’s only getting worse. The real protest outside the court should have been against al-Awlaki, not against the government trying to prosecute a criminal.

Ray Comfort gets PWNED

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Ray Comfort gets spanked by Bruce the Atheist. It’s as satisfying as that sounds. Sure, there are some annoying parts where Ray shoots his mouth off with his nonsense, but I’m sure you can power through those parts.

At least these psychos are refreshingly honest

Most mainstream religions tend to forget the relationship between man and God is one of endless servitude and submission. The classic imagery the faithful tend to use is of a shepherd and his flock, but this has always masked the much more accurate metaphor the Bible offers; that we are slaves to the master’s will. That’s why the Morning Star Ministries are a refreshing bunch of nutjobs who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is:

Who then is the faithful and sensible slave whom his master put in charge of his household to give them their food at the proper time?

Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes. To comply with this mandate, we seek to always serve the Master’s household, not be served by it. Our ministry motto is: “We will not use people to build our ministry, but we use our ministry to build people.”

One of the primary ways that we are called to do this is to provide the household of faith with the highest quality spiritual food that is timely, or “meat in due season.” Our goal is to help strengthen the church by helping believers become the strongest Christians possible, and therefore true light and salt in the earth.

Ok, to be fair these guys aren’t actually very honest, especially considering they have an entire section devoted to “covert ministries“. This is to help missionaries who are living in countries “closed” to the message of Christianity figure out how to ultimately witness to people. The instructions given sound a lot like what you might expect a terrorist cell operates like, but when you have people stationed in Saudi Arabia and other similar countries, I can’t say I blame them.

If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out one of their videos on “Marxism”  I included below. Isn’t it funny how much they hate socialism? I’m more frightened by their theocratic aspirations than I am by things like “socialized medicine”, but if you aren’t scared shitless by the thought of Stalin controlling your life, let this “special forces officer” inform you on the true dangers of Marxism in America!

Execution of Sakineh Ashtiani is imminent

You have to love how crazy Iran is sometimes. In 2006 they arrested a woman by the name of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani for having “illicit relationships” with two men after her husband’s death. She was then judiciously tortured, and made to confess she had also been adulterous. This conviction under Sharia Law meant she was to be executed via stoning, although recently it was changed to hanging after all the bad press stoning has been getting recently.

Iran is playing aloof, claiming that Ashtiani will not be executed, but France’s Foreign Minister isn’t convinced. He says her sentence could be carried out any day now.

While I was reading this article on the rag that is the Huffington Post, I noticed an article by a Muslim apologist claiming Sharia Law is compatible with the Bill of Rights, and sensationalism was being used to tarnish it.

The Center for Security Policy wants Americans to think that stoning and amputations are around the corner, but the report can’t quite explain why stonings are so rare and the streets of Saudi Arabia and Iran are not filled with one-armed thieves.

The Qur’an never mentions stoning as a punishment and there are conflicting interpretations of the Prophet’s involvement in implementing it. The most common interpretation is of a woman consumed with guilt over an adulterous affair that resulted in a child. She pestered the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) literally for years for him to wash away her sins with a death sentence. He refused, but when he could no longer find an excuse to send her away, he reluctantly agreed to punish her. What non-Muslim Sharia “experts” fail to mention is that stoning a person who commits adultery requires four eyewitnesses to the actual act of sexual intercourse. This fantastical burden of proof is almost impossible to fulfill. And rightly so. It’s designed as prevention, not an actual punishment.

So I guess this burden of proof was fulfilled in the case of Ashtiani, right? So much for “impossible to fulfill”. This is what angers me about moderate Muslims; they are in complete denial over the fact Sharia Law is actually killing and dismembering people on a regular basis. As far as they are concerned, these are just the actions of rogue Muslims who don’t represent the majority. What the fuck are we supposed to believe here? The author of this article claims Ashtiani’s conviction is in fact not Sharia, but rather simply politics. How are you supposed to make that distinction, lady?

Should we really be surprised moderate Muslims are in denial over the reality of their barbaric religious traditions? Denial of reality is their specialty, people!

(Update: Her sentence was eventually commuted after a 9 year sentence)

Atheists are perverse!

With newfound confidence comes new problems. As atheists, we’re beginning to see a backlash against rationalism from our sectarian counterparts who feel threatened by our lack of faith. They see it as “perverse” and a “threat to society”. That’s according to Italy’s Foreign Minister Franco Frattini who called on Muslims, Jews and Christians to unite against atheism, materialism and relativism.

Christians also must be able to forge an agreement with Muslims on how to fight those aspects which, like all extremisms, threaten society. I refer to atheism, materialism and relativism. Christians, Muslims and Jews can work together to reach this common objective. I believe it’s time for a new humanism in order to struggle against these perverse phenomena, because only the centrality of the human being is an antidote to fanaticism and [sic]intolerance.

So the centrality of the human being helped stop the Inquisition, the Crusades and suicide bombings, right?

You can read a great summary of this nonsense here, and I won’t go into any detail other than to say this kind of behavior and rhetoric is bound to get worse, not better. Religionists are frustrated by the fact they haven’t won an argument since the Dark Ages, and their usual M.O. of torture, intimidation and vilification are the only tactics they’ve ever had success with. If you knew how many people would bring back the “good old days” of the Inquisition, you’d probably never leave your house.

We’re the most despised minority in the world, and as we slowly move out of “the closet”, what do we encounter? Fear, distrust and hatred. As the true scope of non-belief around the world becomes known (we aren’t as small a minority as everyone would lead you to believe), we should be weary of those blowing war trumpets. They are calling for our heads, and we must expose these dangerous bigots as the delusional loons they are.

Abusive father made daughter pray for forgiveness

You know the tired argument that without religion, human beings are incapable of making proper moral judgements? Here’s another great example of just how stupid and wrong this belief is: A New Zealand man was given a 3 year jail sentence for sexually abusing his daughter from the ages of 5 to 11. The really fucked up thing (beyond him not getting a jail sentence at least as long as the abuse) is he would make her pray for forgiveness every time he sexually abused her.

His daughter said she lost all respect for the church, God and the Bible as a result of her father’s offending.

“He was supposed to be Christian but look at all the evil he was doing.” She said he looked like a monster to her. He would make her pray with him for forgiveness after the sexual abuse, but she knew she had not done anything wrong.

“I wanted Dad to say what he had done but he just lied and never took responsibility.” She told the court how her life had deteriorated.

If he did something fucked-up because of religion, then trust me girl, he IS a Christian. They have a long and colored history of abusing women; it was called the Inquisition, and it’s still a gigantic shit-stain on their history they would rather gloss over (it’s not likely to show up in Sunday School discussions). It’s just unfortunate for them the whole thing lasted over 4 centuries. Kinda makes hiding it a bit “tricky”.

What really scares me about religious rubes is how they tend to justify improper or evil actions through their religious convictions. Because he was convinced a God spoke directly to him, who knows what kind of crazy reasoning this man was allowed to conjure up in his own mind. And what’s up with him making his daughter pray for forgiveness? Did he blame her for his temptation, or did he think this was a test from God? Just more proof belief in a higher power has no bearing on morality. Will our sectarian counterparts ever “get it”?

More awesome mail

I got this email from Joel who has been listening for a while and felt “inspired” by some of my “be a dick” rants.

Jake,

I’ve been a loyal listener for a few months now and I’m proud to say I seized a perfect opportunity to “be a dick” today. As I was boarding my subway, headed home from an afternoon in Manhattan, I saw three guys in suits carrying Bibles and pictures of a crucified Jesus. I thought, “here we go.” As soon as the doors shut, the tallest guy started talking and I interrupted him, shouting above him to take his religion away from a public space so we didn’t have to listen to them. This was met with approving glances from other commuters. One of the guys launched into the “the human eye is so complex that it must have been made by God” spiel, which I also rebutted, informing them they knew nothing about evolution. One of them jeered and said “we didn’t come from any monkeys,” to which I responded, “evolution doesn’t say we come from from monkeys, which further proves you don’t know the first thing about it.” These types of exchanges continued. I trotted out all sorts of evil from the Old Testament and the guy to whom I was directly talking said “Oh, that’s the Old Testament, you’re supposed to pay attention to the New Testament. That I forced him to utter that phrase aloud and admit that their brand of christianity picked and chose what to espouse was one of my most satisfying moments of the interaction. Yes, I was loud, yes I peppered my speech with the occasional expletive and even said something about being an intelligent gay atheist. But it was oh so satisfying. As soon as they got off at their stop, more than one person thanked me and said “Thanks, you said what all of us were thinking.” The subway car then returned to peace and quiet and I went back to reading my book.

Thinking about your “be a dick” rants helped inspire me to say something, and once that cork had popped there was no stopping it! Thanks again for the show, the interviews, etc. I’ve enjoyed the free bonus shows this month. it might be time for me to finally subscribe!

Do I love the fact people out there are kicking ass because of something I said? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Astrology drives me crazy

Of all the pervasive superstitious traditions, the most popular has to be astrology; I can’t think of one American or Canadian newspaper that doesn’t have a section devoted to this nonsense. Like an immature religion, astrology makes a series of bold claims which have been shown, time and time again, to be based on nothing more than fantasy. That hasn’t stopped millions of suckers, however, from believing the positions of planets during their birth somehow affects their personalities and lives.

From the moment of its inception, there have been hard nosed skeptics who rightly objected to the fanciful claims of astrology. Muslims scholars in the 11th century rejected it on scientific grounds (lucky bastards). Early objections to this pseudoscience included the very legitimate question of “why don’t twins share the same horoscope”, which has since been “explained” by the ever increasing complexity of this stupid idea. And yet, the one thing that still eludes them is actually attempting to prove astrology has any predictive power.

Enter science, which has put astrology to the test countless times and found it no better than chance at determining any aspects of a person’s personality and future. It turns out there is a well understood phenomenon that explains why some people think their own horoscopes say something specific about them: it’s called the “Forer Effect“. In the late 1940’s, psychologist Bertram Forer gave his students a personality test, asking them to rank how accurate it was on a scale of 0 to 5 (5 being excellent, 0 being poor). Each student was actually given the same generic analysis:

You have a great need for other people to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. Security is one of your major goals in life.

The average rating was 4.26, which does more to explain how astrology works than any idiotic model astrologers purport to use. All the mystery and wonder of this pseudoscience died a long time ago when it was replaced by the science of astronomy. The last true scientist to claim to be both was Kepler, who eventually had to abandon his superstitious beliefs in favor of observational science.

Despite being bitch-slapped by science repeatedly, this bullshit persists. How many times have I heard some ignoramus tell me the alignment of planets was somehow going to affect my life? Astrology is simple enough to debunk, and yet people continue to believe in it. How can we hope to fight the evils of superstition when we can’t even be rid of this kind of nonsense? Did you ever get the feeling sometimes the battle for rationality is already lost? I’m still waiting for my horoscope to say “your futile quest to fight superstition will be met with abject failure”.

Don’t ever change, Bubbles

The Trailer Park Boys know how to deal with obnoxious religionists who can’t keep their dumb beliefs to themselves. If you’ve never watched the show, it’s 14 carat Canadian gold.

Church of Ireland loses millions after collapse of AIB shares

I don’t normally take pleasure in the failures of others, but I’m willing to make an exception when it comes to corrupt institutions. That’s why I cracked a little smile today when I read the Church of Ireland lost over 17 million dollars when the value of their shares in AIB plummeted.

Of course, what sucks here is the near collapse of this bank has ended up costing Irish taxpayers a bundle (since in today’s modern world, we can’t let “banks fail”), but if it’s any comfort, the Church now has less money to pay the pensions of retired priests that raped children. Small comfort, I know, but I try to take joy in the little things…

Chat it up with a Mormon, get a prize!

If you listened to yesterday’s podcast, you may have heard we have 5 memberships to give out for free, and I decided the first contest is to see who can have the best conversation with a Mormon. Since they are working diligently to spread their hilariously dumb message, you can go and have an insta-chat with Mormons right now if it tickles your fancy!

Now, while I can’t win my own prize, I did try to see if I could get some interesting answers out of my Mormon hosts:

Me: what is the most convincing thing about mormonism to you

Merisa: That we know that this is Christ’s true church on the earth once more, restored by a prophet

Me: what do you find is the most solid piece of evidence for your belief.

Merisa: We don’t need evidence. We have faith and prayer and peace and happiness

Me: so prayer is a type of evidence for you?

Merisa: yes

Merisa: We have evidence in the way we feel God’s love in our life and since we are answering your questions will you answer ours?

Me: I want to understand people, what makes them tick, what makes them believe in certain ideas

Merisa: Ok well as missionaries we are here to teach people, so what we would like to do since you are so interested in learning is send local missionaries to help you better understand these things

Me: So far it seems as though there are two main reasons for your own belief: 1) an emotional reaction to premises you’ve accepted as true, and 2) seeing pattern or direct results of your prayer. Is that a good summary?

Merisa: No

Merisa: please come back when you are willing to answer our questions

That’s when they kicked me out of the chat, so I failed at my first attempt to get them to say something interesting, but it doesn’t mean one of you can’t pull it off!

(Update: The service has since been discontinued)

This guy is pleasant

Never heard of A. Whitney Brown before, but I think I’ll check out more of his act. I liked what I saw. It’s twisted in just the right way.

British Humanist Association launches “no religion” campaign

Ok Brits, here’s the deal: a number of you nonbelievers have been filling in “Christian” in your census boxes, and this has to stop. The British Humanist Association has launched a campaign aimed at encouraging atheists and agnostics to fill in “no religion” in order to send a clear message religion is becoming increasingly marginalized in society.

With the growing confidence we’ve been feeling recently, I’m confident the supposed “37 million Christians” will shrink faster than the polar icecaps. And for those of you who think it doesn’t really matter what you fill out, consider the fact your country has thousands of faith schools funded by your taxes, all because of perceived religious needs of Britain.

So do your part and tell the government you have no religious affiliation, and faith schools are a waste of fucking time.