Islamic cleric says women are to blame for earthquakes

Don’t you just love it when religious morons try and explain geological events under the umbrella of their religious beliefs? As far as men like Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi are concerned, women in tight, revealing “coats” (I’m getting all hot just talking about it) are causing all kinds of natural disasters with their “sinning”. By tempting men with their shape, which apparently no normal Muslim is able to resist, the world has become more unstable as God tries to lay down his displeasure.

Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes

Really, how is this different than thinking the Earth quakes because ancient Titans are trapped deep underground, or believing lightning is produced when Zeus is angry? Are these idiots not aware we know why earthquakes occur, and it has nothing to do with the displeasure of an anthropomorphic bearded deity? I feel embarrassed for the human race every time one of these religious douchebags has the audacity to blame disasters on their cause celebre’ (in this case, a masochistic mullah wants women to remain enslaved by social decorum).

Here’s a surprising fact; no, women revealing their shape doesn’t cause earthquakes, and rain isn’t God crying either. Stop trying to blame women for every little problem you have, Islam, and stop treating them like property or cattle.

Spanish Bishop says children at fault for seducing priests

Looks like some priests aren’t content to just blame homosexuality for the rampant abuse of children; Bernardo Álvarez, the Bishop of Tenerife in Spain, had this to say about the recent scandals:

There are 13 year old adolescents who are under age and who are perfectly in agreement with, and what’s more wanting it, and if you are careless they will even provoke you

I think this is called the “Lolita” defense, and it sounds about as convincing as you might imagine. All those kids who were sodomized against their will were really just asking for it, shaking their prepubescent little booties around, wearing tight t-shirts with the Transformer logo, and smelling of bubble gum and candy. The whores! How dare they tempt these poor Holy men of the cloth with their sexy, completely underdeveloped bodies?

So to recap, the people to blame are homosexuals (for spreading their sin around town) and overly sexed kids, who continually tempt priests with their erotic use of the word “dude”. You wouldn’t want to place the blame on pederast pieces of shit who have ruined the lives of thousands of innocent children; why, that would just be wrong and an insult to the memory those poor, downtrodden priests who did nothing more than “give” those horny kids what they were begging for!

Hitchens on Genocide

It’s not a good week unless you’re listening to the delightful Christopher Hitchens talking about genocide, and religious intolerance.

Jesus penis abs causes controversy

It’s hard to draw the human body; take it from me, I should know. If you’re not completely familiar with all the muscles and what they look like, your design might end up looking a little bit off. Take this crucifix, for instance: The artist is clearly drawing on older versions of depictions of Jesus, and at first glance, it would appear rather than having normal abdominal muscles, this skinny Jesus is sporting a massive hard-on. Hey, I’m not the only one who sees an erect penis; lots of people in this Oklahoma church have left the parish because of the design.

Sure, the Bible says not to worship false idols, but where is the fun in that? Surely if there was a God, he would be cool with being depicted as having a massive shlong, am I right?

Christ-like Cruisin’

I generally dislike most hip-hop and R&B (except for my man Greydon Square), but this has to be the worst Christian music I’ve heard in a long while. Like most Jesus-junk, this testament to terrible is a reminder of the general skill level of believing musicians. Feel like making money writing music but lack the raw talent to make it big? Try Christian music instead! No one will tire of your off-key poorly produced record so long as you jerk off your music to lyrics that inspire acid redux in non-believers.

What exactly is “Christ-like cruising” anyways? Does it involve driving around in an overpriced neon monstrosity, while blaring terrible music that shakes people’s houses like they’re on the San Andreas Fault Line?  I guess that’s what cruising around like Jesus is all about; annoying the shit out of nonbelievers who simply want to enjoy their breakfast in peace on a sunny Saturday morning.

Pope Benedict XVI’s Pedobear greeting

Two things about Pope Benedict’s planned visit to Malta have me smiling a bit; (1) the mayor of a small town has asked that a statue which looks like a dick be removed at the local airport for fear of offending the pontiff, and (2) a graffiti artist stenciled a few “pedobears” on the billboard marking his arrival, and the local news people have no idea what it implies. In case you’re hopelessly out of the loop, it’s a classic internet meme that was birthed in the often vile and twisted world of 4chan, and it’s a comedic reference to pedophilia (sometimes you have to laugh in order not to cry). The artist has succeeded in both confusing mainstream news sources while delighting us “hip” internet folks with his civil disobedience.

Thailand Busts Buddhist Monk child sex ring

If you’re a pedophile on the prowl, you’ll find no better haven for your sick and twisted desires than Thailand, where abject poverty and corrupt police allow foreign pederasts to take advantage of abandoned children. The latest scandal involves Buddhist monks who would lure young boys to their lair where his partner would farm them out to sex tourists. The group has been arrested, but this is only one bit of good news in a country that struggles to properly deal with child sex trafficking.

Thailand is trying to take a hard stance against the sexual trafficking of minors, offering up chemical castration and even the death penalty for repeated offenders. Still, the fact that people in places of high authority abuse their positions makes this kind of crime hard to fight; Buddhist monks are among the most trusted members of society, and you have to wonder how many more are using that trust to further the abuse of little children. Congratulations religion for proving once again you have no special monopoly on morality.

5 “challenges” to atheism

Someone sent me a link to a video and wanted me to answer his 5 challenges (the video has since been taken down). Since I’m relatively bored and feeling productive, I though I’d give it a try.

1) Is chance the same as “God in the Gaps” when explaining the origin of life?

If you can’t accept probability and chance, then you can’t accept reality. It would be swell if we lived in a deterministic Universe, but the simple fact is we don’t. Mutations in a organism’s DNA is a random process, and most of the time, these mutations aren’t beneficial at all. But because natural selection tends to favor mutations that provide some slight survival advantage, the element of chance is bred out, with only those mutations providing some benefit being passed on to future generations. So, although this guy would like to think evolution is the product of randomness, it is in fact only a mechanism of change, not selection. And unlike “God in the Gaps” which answers nothing, evolution offers us a model to understand how organisms change and adapt to their environment over time.

2) Why should there be something instead of nothing?

It’s a compelling argument, but the explanation a supernatural entity did it creates more questions than it answers. If everything needs a first cause, then who created God?

He also foolishly believes the Earth was somehow “manufactured” for us to live on it. This is kind of like arguing the reason your nose sticks out of your face is so you can wear glasses. We are suited for this planet because we evolved to adapt to its environment, not the other way around. To claim life bears the mark of “intelligent design” merely illustrates the fact the maker of this video has little or no education in biology.

3) Where do you get your morals from?

This is probably the most frustrating and annoying question religionists ask when they think they are being clever. I’m not going to argue most believers credit their religion for their morality. What I argue against is the truth of this assertion. You can believe something fervently even when it isn’t true. If religion really was the basis for morality, it still doesn’t explain where morals come from, since all modern religions are relatively recent inventions in our history as a species. Did our ancestors, who possessed the same cognitive faculties as us, suffer from a terrible lack of morality? Could they not experience love, suffering, anger and pain like we do? Could they not determine the consequences of their actions, and how those might be interpreted in the future? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that one doesn’t need codified religious laws to act morally.

In any event, it’s a far more serious problem to attribute morality to a supernatural being who apparently does not interact with the natural world in any measurable way. How are we to trust the “words” of such a deity? If God asks us to do something which seems wrong (like killing another desert tribe), then how are we supposed to know if it’s right or wrong? Is it right merely because of his say-so?

4) How did morals evolve?

This isn’t really a challenge for atheists, but rather a question an evolutionary psychologist should answer. Michael Shermer’s book, “The Science of Good and Evil“, and Richard Dawkins “The Selfish Gene” attempt to do just that.

If you want the quick answer to the question, look at other social animals and how they have evolved behavior that allows them to function as a group. It’s not hard to imagine in the struggle for survival, cooperation would be beneficial, and our species would adapt to favor traits that would make us more trustworthy and empathetic towards one another (the more selfish and opportunistic ones presumably dying without passing on their genes).

5) Can nature generate complex organism, in the sense of originating it?

Do you get the sense that this guy would benefit from studying biology a little bit more? He’s not an idiot, but his points center on the fact he doesn’t seem to understand how natural selection works. We have a relatively chauvinistic way of looking at life; we tend to think we are infinitely more complex than other beings simply because we’re intelligent. But if you measure complexity by an organism’s genome, we’re no more complex than a mouse, and a lot less complex than some species of ferns. The point is evolution doesn’t mean improvement, and certainly doesn’t mean “increased complexity”. The e-coli bacteria that makes you sick is just as “evolved” as you are. The difference is the niche we exploit, and that’s it.

If you want to attribute intelligence to the working of some higher power, you’re free to do so. You should, however, realize this “explanation” only offers up more questions (where did God come from, why does he let bad things happen, etc). The insulting thing about the “God in the gaps” argument isn’t only that it’s not an adequate answer to anything; it also shuts down the impulse to find those answers. It’s good to ask questions, but rather than feel proud for asking them, you should seek those answers for yourself!

Strip Clubs safer than church

If you’ve ever wondered if it’s better to attend church Sunday morning to listen to the sermons of some out-of-touch old white dude rather than heading over to the local strip joint to watch some nubile young lady shake her ton-tons, you might be interested to know the latter is not only more enjoyable, it’s also a lot safer. The NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research in Australia recently released a report that showed churchgoers were more likely to get assaulted, robbed, threatened and sexually assaulted than their voyeuristic counterparts.

In other words, the image of churches as “safe havens” is most certainly just a good P.R. campaign, since they can’t seem to stop attendees from committing a whole range of petty crimes. Unlike strip clubs who have muscular bouncers to kick your ass out, the worst thing a preacher can do is throw some holy water at you. So scary!

As a finally note, the “donations” I keep leaving at the strip clubs doesn’t go to help defend priests from prosecution for the rape and abuse of children. Instead, all that money probably going towards a new boob job, and that’s something we can all celebrate, no

Richard Dawkins wants UK to arrest the Pope

It looks like someone is finally taking a stand against Pope Benedict XVI for his role in covering up the abuse of children, and it’s none other than atheist superstar Richard Dawkins. Along with Christopher Hitchens, the pair is trying to see if they can get the UK government to arrest the pontiff when he comes to visit in September to beatify some 19th century theologian no one actually gives a shit about. Since the Vatican isn’t actually recognized by the UN as it’s own state, he wouldn’t be able to claim diplomatic immunity, making his arrest a real possibility. Now all they need to find is a prosecutor with some balls, and then we can all sit back and witness something spectacular; a religious leader actually being held responsible for his actions.

Now before we all get too excited, you have to wonder what the backlash from this is going to be. There are still lots of Catholics willing to defend Benedict no matter how guilty he is for the simple reason they are convinced as an avatar of God, he is quite literally infallible. Luckily, the Vatican seems to be in complete denial over the seriousness of these allegations, so my guess is they won’t even take this threat seriously until it’s too late.

I’m not sure how all of this is going to go down, but with Dawkins on the case, it’s safe to say he isn’t going to let this thing slide that easily. Good luck you beautiful British bastard!

Dog-piss Jesus

If you’re looking for proof the human race is doomed for failure, look no further than this story: for those of you unfamiliar with Spanish, the locals in the video have all crowded to see what they believe is the latest apparition of Jesus; a rather large pee stain left by a dog with a significantly large bladder. As you can see from the footage, some of these confused idiots are praying and even touching the stain, convinced their Savior is trying to send them a message of hope. What kind of a lame ass God needs to communicate through the urine of a canine? Religious people are weird…

Child bride dies of internal bleeding

I’m officially ready to throw up all over the place after reading this story; a 12 year old Yemeni girl recently died of internal injury after her “husband” (a man more than twice her age) decided to consummate their recent marriage. Kids being married to much older men is a pretty serious problem in the country, and the government has been slow to change the legal age of consent due to religious conservatives fighting these measures; it seems the faithful aren’t too happy at thoughts of the government forbidding them to forcefully have sex with little girls. Go figure!

If you think that’s horrifying (which it is), consider the fact the tradition is as old (if not older) than Islam; Mohammed’s favorite wife was 6 years old when he married her, and if it wasn’t for the fact she was sick when they married, he probably would haven’t have waited until she was 9 to make that marriage “official”. Most moderate Muslims don’t really like to talk about Aisha and the disturbing fact their prophet was basically a pedophile, although in countries like Yemen they seem actually proud of the fact they are legally allowed to marry and fuck children.

What a dark and disturbing place the world would be without religion to show us the light, eh?

Bill Donohue does it again!

I dream of the day when I no longer have to say the name Bill Donohue, for every time I do, a little bit of sick makes its way into my mouth. The fact that mainstream media continues to give him a platform to speak proves how shallow and uneducated they are. The latest words out of his poisonous mouth regarding the allegations of priestly sexual abuse (the subsequent attempt to conceal these activities) goes something like this: It wasn’t child rape because the kids were post-pubescent at the time (and were therefore just “sexy” teenagers).

Maybe Bill is a little confused as to the relative age of consent. According to him, if you’re above 12 years of age and a clergyman forcefully shoves his dick in your mouth, it’s in actually consensual gay sex (and silly you for thinking otherwise!). So in Bill’s view, the controversy surrounding the Vatican isn’t about child rape, but homosexuality.

Surely there are Catholics out there who are genuinely disgusted and outraged Bill could say such a thing while representing the interest of their institution. Unfortunately for them, the ones in power have no real interest in seeking justice for the victims; they simply want to avoid having to admit their culpability and end up paying billions of dollars in compensation. They would rather blame everything on gays and atheists rather than take a long hard look at the corruption and rot present in their own church.

Keep being the same old you, Bill. You do more to help atheism than you can possibly imagine.

Phil Pullman: No one has the right to not be offended

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten emails or comments on the site saying I was being needlessly offensive, and I should go out of my way to avoid hurting the feelings of others. These messages have even come from other atheists who disapprove of my use of strong language or mockery. Here, Phillip Pullman (author of “The Golden Compass”) echoes how I usually respond to these accusations: no one has the right to not be offended, and I’ll say what I want to say, regardless of the objection of others. My own right to speak my mind shouldn’t be compromised simply because a few cry baby assholes feel I’m being “mean” or offensive. Religious folks don’t have to read any of our shit if they don’t like it, and can keep on believing in their fairytale bullshit if they so chose. Stop going around crying foul every time someone disagrees with your unsupported and generally childish worldview, morons!

City council fails to change Good Friday to “Spring Holiday”

“Good Friday” is creepy. As a holiday, I’d say it ranks pretty high up on the weirdo-meter (the biggest one in my book is the cryptic and disturbing celebration of Passover, where Jews celebrate God killing the first born children of Egyptians and “passing over” their own kids). For starters, millions of Catholics celebrate the crucifixion of their messiah, as though his supposed torture and eventual death is something to celebrate. The big joke, of course, is that Easter is nothing more than a pagan holiday, but you can’t seem to convince the faithful that their precious celebration is nothing more than a copyright infringement.

In an effort to try and show some degree of neutrality towards religion, the city council of Davenport, Iowa tried to change “Good Friday” on their municipal calendar to simply “Spring Holiday”. As you can guess, religious folks totally lost their shit, and forced city officials to change it back. They now say that the name change was “an error”.

Just another example of tantrum religious people have whenever they aren’t shown any special treatment. They might frame it as a religious rights issue, but I don’t exactly see a lot of Christians fighting for the rights of other religious denominations to have their holidays officially recognized by the government. Bunch of crybabies.