No real message here, but the music and animation are pretty damn awesome. Hey, the Messiah myth has been with us for thousands of years; way before the story of Jesus. If you haven’t heard of Dionysus, or Buddha, I recommend you check them out too. They used to be hot shit back in the day.
Author Archives: Jacob Fortin
Anti Abortion militants upset over Tiller murder conviction
It appears anti-abortion activists are getting a bit crazier every day. The recent conviction of Scott Roeder, who gunned down Dr. George Tiller just about a year ago, has apparently rallied religious nutjobs who think killing doctors who perform abortions is a heroic act. They are upset he was found guilty, which makes me wonder what connection they have with reality. I’m not sure what they were expecting exactly; did they think his defense (he had no choice but to use deadly force to “save babies”) would work?
What scares me the most is the type of rhetoric anti-choice activists use when talking about abortions. Sure, lots of groups say they distance themselves from violent tactics, but the truth is there’s usually a mixed message coming from these organizations regarding the use of violence. Take Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue saying more violence was inevitable:
“The blood of these babies slain by Tiller is crying for vengeance,”
Is that what a terminated fetus is doing in heaven? Crying for the murder of the doctor who performed operations usually meant to save the life of the mother? For such innocent creatures, they definitely are vengeful! Maybe (just maybe) the only ones crying for violence are religious wackos who have a tenuous grip with reality.
Gotta love the Onion
With all the talk of abortions in the wake of the news, CBS apparently can’t keep their fucking nose out of it, and the Onion comes out with this. Man, I wish I was as funny as them!
UK Home Office provides grant for Christian police
Apparently the Home Office in Great Britain has money to burn, as they’ve given the Christian Police Association £10,000 (or about $16,000) to help their campaign aimed at getting the public to pray to help prevent crime. They are already claiming the program, which they’ve already initiated, is having some major success:
In one particular area, an officer was investigating an incident but he had not been able to apprehend a suspect. He encouraged a church to pray for him and within days a suspect had been arrested and charged.
In another area, an officer encouraged churches to pray about domestic burglary and over the year it came down by 30 per cent. We do not discount good police work, which is why we call it circumstantial evidence.
You have to love the faithful; any time there’s a study done that proves prayer does exactly jack-shit (and Jack left town), they completely ignore it, no matter what the evidence is. It’s plainly obvious to everyone else talking your invisible friend doesn’t do more than bring a sense of comfort for the delusional, let alone “solve crime”. Could the 30 percent reduction in domestic burglary possibly be related to the crime rate falling in the UK for the past few years (the government reports a simultaneous increase in illicit drug use; am I to assume using their logic that using drugs prevents crime?) Where did these clowns graduate from: Police Academy 5?
Is it too much to ask that governments not spend their taxpayer’s hard-earned money on nonsense?
Virginia school bans Anne Frank’s Diary
It’s now official; parents need to stay the fuck out of the educational system. How else are we supposed to react when one of these people gets the expanded version of Anne Frank’s diary banned for containing a short passage making reference to the vagina?
There are little folds of skin all over the place, you can hardly find it. The little hole underneath is so terribly small that I simply can’t imagine how a man can get in there, let alone how a whole baby can get out!
Originally Anne’s father had removed some of her passages from the diary, presumably out of fear that Anne’s frankness (is this considered a tasteless pun?) would be too much for students to handle. I guess he was right, since it took only one complaint for school officials to cave.
Hey, I get it; when you have kids, your brain gets a little bit rattled (in fact, during the late stages of pregnancy, a woman’s brain will temporarily shrink for a little while). It doesn’t help that these defenseless whelps need your constant attention not to die. Eventually, however, you have to accept the fact the wider world is out there for them to explore, and losing your shit every time a sexual organ is being discussed is a serious over-reaction on the part of parents with bigger hearts than brains.
Jim Allen, the director of instruction at Culpeper County public school had this to say about the situation:
“I’m happy when parents get involved with these things because it lets me know that they are really looking and have their kids’ best interest (in mind). And that’s where good parenting and good teaching comes in.”
Does good parenting involve banning books because of innocent references to private parts? How is this good teaching? It’s quite literally the opposite of that, moron.
Three speeches on surviving a religious upbringing
Here is the Center for Inquiry’s lecture held in the latter part of 2009. The speeches start at the 10 minute mark, so if you want to avoid all the “boring” introduction stuff, skip ahead. If you’re at work and can listen to things in the background, there’s no real slideshow, so enjoy it in the background. The speakers are William Lobdell, Rebecca Newberger Goldstein, and Marilyn Mehr.
Left Behind video game aims for major console market
In Daniel Radosh’s funny and memorable book Rapture Ready, the author talks extensively about Christian literature and the willingness of evangelicals to buy their specialty products, no matter how shoddy or terrible they are. Hilariously enough, retailers who cater to Christian pop culture seem to be fully aware of just how tacky and terrible their own products are, so much so they refer to the vast majority of their merchandise as “Jesus Junk”.
On the list of terrible Jesus Junk is the “Left Behind” series: the most successful yet terrible novels to ever grace this green earth. Even reading it out of curiosity is not recommended, although there are quite a few sites that can help you gain a little perspective if you’re fortunate enough never to have read these awful books.
It turns out the success of the series prompted all kinds of ancillary products bearing the Left Behind moniker. Four years ago, the PC world was treated to the video game adaptation of the novel, a steaming pile of bugs and glitches allowing players to help convert unbelievers, thus saving their souls. Some notable “enemies” the player must face are secular college students armed with deadly logic, and rock musicians with saucy lyrics. Now, because evangelical pop culture takes care of their own, the game actually did surprisingly well considering how awful it was, and now the company responsible for this monstrosity wants to make the game available on the console markets. Yep, in a few months you might be able to enjoy saving souls on your very own Xbox 360!
The thought of it sends shivers down my spine.
Dictionary banned in elementary school
Hey parents, may I ask you something? Do you ever fear that the degree to which you wish to protect your children from any kind of harm makes you absolutely batshit insane sometimes? The rest of us childless folks have to wonder what kind of effect having offspring has on your brain, because your behavior can often be described as utterly mental. Take this story involving parents banning the 6th edition of the Merriam-Webster dictionary at Southern California elementary school because it has a definition for “oral sex”.
The disappointing thing here is it took just one parent to complain before the school board freaked out, and you just know it was the parents of the kid who just needed to know what oral sex was. So rather than have to deal honestly with the question, their response was to have the dictionary banned. Now I realize the idiotic things parents do is usually motivated by the love they have for their children, but it doesn’t absolve them from insanity. Can you all chill the fuck out and relax already? Anyone with kids who thinks banning a dictionary will somehow prevent them from learning about the world outside the boundaries they’ve delineated is both naïve and stupid. Can you all stop banning or burning books you think will “warp” their minds? I assure you the only thing you achieve is looking both insane and out of touch with reality.
If you lie or trick your kids about stupid shit (like sex education), how will they ever believe you about stuff that really matters?
Superbowl to air anti-abortion ad starring Tim Tebow
I hate football. I know that’s not a popular opinion to have, especially when about 70% of my visitors are Americans, but considering the average 3 hour game only has a total of about 11 minutes of actual play time, I find it both incredibly dull and utterly pointless. I can’t, however, deny there is something about the way it’s put together. They’ve even managed to make showing commercials something people look forward to (which in an average game accounts for 60 minutes of ads; no wonder it’s “America’s sport”), although CBS’s recent decision to air an anti-abortion commercial starring Florida quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother Pam may change that.
Focus on the Family, the nutjob institution that thinks gays are trying to ruin “traditional marriage”, is going to air the pair in a 30 second advert. You see, back in 1987, Pam Tebow became pregnant, but severe complications threatened both her life and that of the baby, so doctors recommended she terminate the pregnancy. She refused, and later fell into a coma for a while; the pregnancy was so hard she was completely bedridden almost the entire time. She decided to take a huge risk and keep the child, and that baby was Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Now, you can imagine how they want to spin this fucking yarn.
Of course, the fact both Pam and Tim survived and are both healthy is a bit of a rarity, and it definitely sends the wrong message concerning the real risks some women face during difficult pregnancies. The fact that they are both alive is a testament to the power of medical science, not God. I doubt very much that the ad will put much focus on just how serious her medical problems were in the 30 seconds they have to play with. Besides, it’s like trying to prove smoking isn’t harmful by finding a 90 year old who smokes three packs a day. Yes, We EXPECT there will always be a few exceptions out there, but flaunting them is both dishonest and dangerous (read a great summary of the arguments here).
CBS used to have a policy of neutrality when it came to advertising during the Super Bowl, but inexplicably they’ve decided to break this rule. Are they going to leave out the fact Pam had the OPTION not to terminate her pregnancy? I don’t know what the ad will say, but people should be aware Focus on the Family’s real agenda is to make ALL abortions illegal, regardless of the consequences to the mother. When is America finally going to stand by the idea of freedom of choice when it comes to abortion? The fact this is still an issue is an embarrassment to a country that prides itself on being free.
Scientologists arrive in Haiti
Looks like John Travolta is a man of his word; a few days ago he spoke about flying a bunch of his weirdos in yellow shirts to this devastated country, and a news report has surfaced stating a “private donor” has sent 80 volunteers (along with 50 real doctors) down there.
The problem right now is the huge influx of volunteers in the country has actually slowed down aid relief. Some are just showing up without a plan, and simply end up having to leech off aid that would otherwise be going to Haitians. They need money, not volunteers (especially not the proselytizing kind).
Right now the only thing they’ve done is gone around “touching” people, claiming this has healing properties. This bullshit practice is so ludicrously stupid, I’ll have to let one of their zombies describe it for me:
“We’re trained as volunteer ministers, we use a process called ‘assist’ to follow the nervous system to reconnect the main points, to bring back communication,” she said.
“When you get a sudden shock to a part of your body the energy gets stuck, so we re-establish communication within the body by touching people through their clothes, and asking people to feel the touch.”
You know, Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world; the last thing they need is a “religion” that charges exorbitant amount of monies to become “clear” of thetans. The 400,000 it costs to send these clowns there could have been better spent on food and water, honestly. When are people going to learn that sometimes, the best way to help is to get the fuck out of the way?
British military bans useless “bomb detectors”
If you’re not a regular visitor to randi.org (that’s famous skeptic James Randi’s website), you might not know about their fight against dangerous quackery; more specifically, their attempts to expose bogus “bomb detectors” that are nothing more than dowsing devices. The device in question, called the ADE-651, has no electronic components to speak of and has a rather unimpressive looking antenna on it. This didn’t stop the Iraqi military from dishing out a massive $85m dollars on the piece of junk. If you’re wondering how they could spend such an exorbitant amount of cash on a handle with a TV antenna on it, it’s because each device costs about $40,000.
I can’t imagine how many people have died as a result of using this expensive piece of shit. Not only does it fare worse than random chance at detecting anything (the only thing I would venture to say it detects is complete gullibility), it’s based entirely on dowsing “principles”. You might remember dowsers as the old fogies who run around with a stick thinking it leads to water that you used to point at and laugh as a child. Well, laugh no more, as its use has put hundreds and thousands of peoples lives at risk. There’s no telling what kind of damage this thing has done, or how many deaths can literally be attributed to it.
The CEO of ATSC who produces the ADE 651 was recently arrested on suspicion of fraud, but he continues to defend his product, claiming the only reason people don’t like it is it looks crude:
Mr McCormick told The Times that his device was being criticised because of its crude appearance.
He added: “We have been dealing with doubters for ten years. One of the problems we have is that the machine does look a little primitive. We are working on a new model that has flashing lights.”
Is this fucking guy for real? No, we don’t need flashing lights on your piece of junk; we need you to give all the money back, followed immediately by your long incarceration, where I hope you’ll be beaten senseless on an almost daily basis for the terrible pain you’ve inflicted.
Vanity Fair reviews the Creation “Museum”
About 3 years late, the people over at Vanity Fair decided it was time to visit this mausoleum of ignorance, a testament to the strong desire of the faithfully ignorant to have their beliefs strengthened by any means necessary. The pictures in the article, strangely enough, were taken by actor Paul Bettany, the atheist actor who portrayed Charles Darwin in the movie “Creation”. Watching it is on my to-do list, but finding a copy hasn’t exactly been easy, thanks largely to the fact it struggled mightily to find a distributor. That, of course, is it’s own story.
The article in question provides a good overview for those of us disinclined to give Ken Ham and his ilk our hard earned money. He’s not pulling any punches here; he considers the “museum” to be complete and utter cheese. To the author, this gigantic effort to marry the literal interpretation of the Bible into a messy and childish science seems utter insanity, but it may be because he has so little experience actually interacting with these people. If he did, he wouldn’t be so confused; rather he would be horrified with what Ham and Answers in Genesis are doing to young minds curious about ancient things like dinosaurs. The Museum is nothing more than a poisonous mix of ignorance and supreme arrogance; in thinking myth should be translated into reality, they may appeal to their sheep-like and uneducated base, but for the rest of the world they remain a 27 million dollar embarrassment to America.
Anyways, it’s an entertaining read, and if you have some time to kill I strongly urge you to check it out!
Trijicon to remove Bible codes from “Jesus Rifles”
It’s nice to know the American military hasn’t completely lost their minds; they’ve successfully pressured the morons at Trijicon into removing Biblical references on their scopes. I guess the whole “Jesus Rifles” moniker actually caught on, and there was no doubt to everyone with half a brain that this kind of practice would be putting soldier’s lives at risk for no good reason.
Now you just need to remove references of a creator from your fucking money already. Remind me why that’s kosher again?
Steve Doocy thinks “Muslims started it”
So let me get this straight, Doocy; you’re no longer claiming the rifles are merely a private company putting innocent Bible codes on rifle scopes, but rather arguing “Muslims started it”? Yet another reason why religious pandering nutbags at FOX News need to stop yapping on about issues they have no clear understanding of. Do they think this argument will dissuade fundamentalist sympathizers who are arguing this is a religious war? Shut your fucking mouth already, idiot!
Prayer device scares the crap out of airline passengers
I have to admit I got a bit of laugh over this bit of news. Apparently, flight 3079 out of LaGuardia was diverted to Philadelphia after security personnel mistook a Jewish prayer device, called a Tefillin, for some kind of home made bomb. A Tefillin is a set of small leather boxes painted black which contains passages from the Torah, and the leather strap is supposed to go around various parts of your body. It’s another weird and pointless tradition that is supposed to symbolize something important, but ends up merely looking weird and pointless; it’s just crappy sheep leather and bits of fucking paper.
It probably didn’t help that the 17 year old was also praying fairly loudly; people tend to freak out when they see a weird device being strapped on someone’s body by someone praying nervously. I don’t really blame airport security or the FBI for their lack of familiarity with Jewish traditions: with all the crazy shit religionists consider sacred and divine, it’s hard to keep track of it sometimes. The one thing I love from this story is it just goes to show people really aren’t afraid of atheists like you and me. When push comes to shove, it’s the individuals with strong religious convictions that scare the shit out of us, and for good reasons; they’re usually the ones blowing shit up in the name of their imaginary friends, not us.