Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

More sectarian violence in Pakistan

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Imagine a philosophy that regards human life as worthless and cheap, where adherents are told to kill others who do not share their beliefs, and where huge segments of the population are kept ignorant and subservient. Well, you don’t need to use your imagination; this type of philosophy already exists, and it has a colorful name: Islam.

Pakistan was the scene of more violence today as a market in Peshawar was hit with a powerful bomb that killed at least 80 people and injured another 200. It’s one of the worst attacks in the country’s history, and you can guess what bastards were responsible for bombing a market filled with women and children: why it’s the Taliban, of course!

It must be pretty easy to murder innocent women and children when you have the powerful shield of faith. It must be why religion is such a useful tool to enslave the minds of poorly educated idiots; no one has to consider the consequences of their actions when they think God is on their side. Congratulations for murdering so many people for your precious invisible sky-deity; he must be so proud of you!

Also, please fuck off and die. Thanks.

France gives Scientology the finger

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It’s a good day, people. This morning I was flooded with emails and links concerning a French court that found 6 members of the Church of Scientology guilt of fraud. Each member on trial was fined 400,000 euros and  sentenced to no less than two years in prison.

I’m actually pretty surprised they’re sending these guys to jail while still allowing the Church to continue its operation in the country with impunity. I guess they found insufficient evidence that this fraud was perpetuated by the church. These guys played by Scientology’s play book, so why did they not bring the whole scam down once and for all? It’s a shame really. Scientology is a pyramid scheme designed to extort people out of their money, all under the guise of “freeing” a person from fear, doubt, and every other normal human emotion people find unpleasant.

Unfortunately, I doubt this decision is going to do much to slow down the growth of this beast. The Church recently opened up a chapter in Rome, and it attracted well over 6,000 suckers people.

Hey everyone, if you are feeling depressed, unhappy, and generally unfulfilled, try to do something creative and fun rather than get suckered in by a bunch of money hungry fuckfaces. Go for a bike ride, talk to a friend you lost contact with, or better yet, take a drill and shove it deep inside your brain tissue if you even feel slightly compelled to go get audited. Trust me, you’re way better off as a vegetable.

This woman broke my brain

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After having listened to the excellent presentation on the Cosmos of Mr. Lawrence Krauss, listening to this idiot trying to teach something she clearly knows nothing about is almost too painful to bear. If you have a will made of iron, or you’ve already given up on humanity, maybe, just maybe you can make it through this entire video without having a subdural hematoma. Watch this at your own risk, for the stupid, it BUURRRNNNSSS!

Scientologists are so sensitive

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You’ll notice the familiar use of the word “offensive” in this video, and it’s the reason this douchebag walks off during the interview. I’ve been accused of this on multiple occasions by religious people myself, and it’s simply a way for people to mask their stupid or worthless opinions. It’s not like the guy answered the question at all, and hiding behind the shield of “respect my faith” is just more of the same intellectual cowardice I’ve come to expect from highly religious folks. I think in general we all need to stop using the “offensive” card any time we are upset. So someone said something you didn’t like; big fucking deal. If you refuse to answer a question because you think it’s rude, then you’ve proven only that your mind is incapable of being open enough to look past something as trivial as language.

Is being Jewish about “race” or religion?

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I was reading an old article on BBCnews about a Jewish school that was refusing admission to students who had no blood relation to Judaism. The school was trying to defend their stance, arguing that this was a matter of religion, not race. I don’t buy that bullshit for one second.

Consider this: a few months ago, the Israeli government created a series of ads warning Jews not to marry non-Jews after a study found a significant portion of the population was breeding outside their own “tribe”. They fear if the population begins to assimilate into the culture of others, the State of Israel will disappear. This type of xenophobic fear is not only overtly racist, it’s entirely antiquated and wrong.

Mixed marriages are not even recognized in Israel, which seems awfully familiar to anyone who’s ever experienced institutionalized racism. It doesn’t really surprise me that the small tribe of Judaism is afraid they might disappear if they intermarry with other cultures. What angers me is when they are allowed to get away with racist and alarmist rhetoric out of the sick idea that they need to maintain “racial purity” in order for their religion to thrive. Personally, I find this kind of thing sickening. We want to encourage people of different races and cultures to marry and shag one another. This is actually the quickest way to peace; people tend to stop fighting when they start breeding together.

Stop trying to pass off your fucking fascism as some kind of noble religious pursuit. I don’t buy it, and nobody else does.

Majority of Britons want creationism taught in schools

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I’m frustrated this morning. I just finished reading this article, and I have to admit that I’m very disappointed in our Commonwealth Big Brother. A recent poll indicates more than half of Britons support the teaching of both creationism and evolution in schools. That’s actually more than their American counterparts. You guys are officially the new retard on the block.

So feel proud that Egyptians were three times less likely to want this fucking nonsense taught in their science class. So, just what the hell is going on here? Are Brits slowly losing their minds? First, a not-so-small percentage of your population keeps trying to vote for a fascist party (The British National Party, a white only anti-immigration political disaster) and now you want creationism in schools. I’m going to say this as nicely as possible to all you British fans of the site so you don’t get too upset: Get your fucking act together, people!

World Net Daily lambasts Conservative Bible Project

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It’s weird to admit I am in almost complete agreement with Joseph Farah of World Net Daily over the issue of Conservapedia’s attempt to remove the “liberal bias” of the Bible. Their desire to remove Jesus’ supposed “softness” on crime, and disdain for money is particularly telling of their general philosophy. There are plenty of Christians who absolutely hate the whole “easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” passage. Some people really do love money, and it’s quite clear in the New Testament that Jesus really isn’t a big fan of it.

Of course, Farah and I don’t see eye to eye about the relative worth of the King James Version, but I’d rather be stuck with that sadistic filth than a version that’s even less charitable. At least it’s good to know not everybody on the conservative side has totally lost their marbles. Maybe there is hope for these people after all…

Child Abuser too Fat for Jail

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What happens when you abuse a young girl for years, and you eventually get caught? You go to jail, right? Well, not if you’re too fat to fit in the cell! That’s what’s happened with child abuser Church Elder John William McConaghy, 66, who was convicted of all but 1 of the 21 charges against him. After receiving an anemic 12 months in jail, the judge was reluctant to send this fat piece of crap to jail.

His obesity, diabetes, ulcerated legs and MRSA infection were held to be exceptional circumstances.

Luckily, the prison was able to show that they could accommodate the fat fuck, and he was eventually sent to the slammer.

A Universe that Came from Nothing

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If you’ve ever wanted to answer that annoying question, “how could the universe have formed from nothing”, then watch this video. Lawrence Krauss is funny, informative, and if you watch the entire video (it’s over an hour long, so you might need to pause it a few times), he will blow your fucking mind. Lawrence seems like a pretty cool guy. Turns out he wrote a book called “The Physics of Star Trek“. Sounds pretty awesome to me. If you’re a fan of the show, go check it out!

Man runs over daughter over “Western Influence”

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There are some pretty shitty parents out there. If you want to see some hilarious examples of terrible child-rearing, you can always check ParentFail.com to see some truly hilarious examples.

Of course, this guy might actually top them all thanks to his ridiculous religious traditions. Police are looking for Faleh Hassan Almaleki, 48, after he ran over his 20 year daughter who he felt had become “too westernized”.

So, while the police are busy trying to find Faleh to show him his new digs, his daughter is in the hospital with life threatening injuries. I imagine he doesn’t really care if she lives or dies at this point. In Faleh’s mind, he would rather his child die than let her enjoy her own life with modern secular values.

Our Webs are under Attack!

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Australia, be warned! It seems as though the latest efforts of your country’s atheists have attracted the attention of theologically minded hackers. The Global Atheist Convention’s website has been flooded, and the Atheist Foundation of Australia’s site was attacked also.

It’s not known who is doing this exactly, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was some religious nutbag hoping to prevent people from attending this year’s atheist convention. It’s the type of typical, “it’s not wrong if I do it for Jesus” tactic that fundamentalists seem so fond of employing.

As usual this kind of thing only galvanizes people even more, so I imagine this probably won’t stop people from going; if anything, I’m willing to bet the event will be an even bigger success. In your face, religion!

The Bible gets the Robert Crumb treatment

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If you’re unaware of Robert Crumb and his underground cult hit, Frizt the Cat, you might want to read up on this iconic character before proceeding further. Frizt has the distinction of being the most successful independent animated feature of all time, grossing 100 million dollars worldwide, despite the fact it received an X rating in the US (If you’re a Simpson fan, you may recall the Itchy and Scratchy tribute episode).

Crumb’s recently turned his attention to the Bible, specifically the Book of Genesis, and decided to make an illustrated comic book graphically depicting all 50 chapters. So, how long before Christians go apeshit over this? Take it away Mike Judge of the Christian Institute:

“If you are going to publish your own version of the Bible it must be done with a great deal of sensitivity. The Bible is a very important text to many, many people and should be treated with the respect it deserves.

“Representing it in your own way is all very well and good but it must be remembered that it is a matter of people’s faith, their religion.

“Faith is such an important part of people’s lives that one must remember to tread very carefully.”

They want us to walk on eggshells again. Problem is, Crumb hasn’t taken anything out of context. He’s just taking his cues directly from the Bible, and of course people would be offended; it’s a fucking offensive book! Lot getting raped by his daughters, Onan being slaughtered by God for spilling his semen on the floor; the list just goes on. Let’s just say that anyone who reads the Bible as a bedtime story for their children would probably scar them for life.

Personally I’m adding this book as part of my religious collection. I’ve always had a strange fascination with Crumb’s artwork. He seems to have the ability to make everything look dirty and inappropriate. Go check it out!

Texas jury uses the Bible to convict man to death

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The law scares me. It’s not because I think justice is impossible, or I’ll somehow end up victimized by it. However, there is always a moment in our lives when we may run up against it, and if such a moment ever arose for me, I am utterly terrified at the prospect of being judged by a jury of my peers. Reading stories like this one reminds me only a small minority of people actually bother using their logical minds when trying to decide something as important as a man’s fate.

In 1999, Kristian Oliver was found guilty of bludgeoning an elderly man to death during a botched robbery. When it came time for the jury to decide his fate, a number of them decided to consult the Bible (specifically the Book of Numbers) for guidance. One of the jurors, Donna Matheny, had highlighted this passage:

And if he smite him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.

10 years later and Oliver’s lawyer is still trying to get the sentence overturned, arguing the Bible had no place in the jury room during deliberation. But because this is fucking Texas, a judge found insufficient evidence that the Bible significantly influenced the jury’s decision. Of course, this same judge also strictly forbade Oliver’s lawyer from directly asking jurors if the Bible had been used to influence their ruling, so how anything was properly determined, I have no idea.

So if you live in Texas and you don’t believe in God, do everything in your power to avoid being involved in the legal system. You’re likely to get totally fucked over by a bunch of Neanderthals who think the Bible is an instrument of law. This is the same book that commands you stone your children to death if you catch them swearing.  Feeling terrified yet?

I hacks yur Webs!

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I received this comment on one of my posts, and I just had to put it up for you guys to see:

I visited your site to challenge you to learn about ‘contiguous dimensional worlds’ and how they show Christian belief and its command to love to be understandable, logical and evidenced in a technical sense. But your site uses vulgarities and slogans indicative of anger and not of reasonable thinking. ”Techie Worlds’, available at Amazon.com, explains this concept in detail. But some sites like yours are set up to attack the computers of those who wish to comment, so I will hit delete and shut down my system as quickly as possible.
GeorgeRic

I guess George thinks atheists are a bunch of trojan-infested sinners or something. He saw a few “fuck you’s” and assumed TGA was some kind of spam site. This guy was shocked to discover that dissent about religion could get a little colorful, and I guess that puts me in the same corner as those annoying scam websites you occasionally run across..

So to be fair to this guy, I decided to check out “Techie World” on Amazon, and hilariously enough, this book (written by a guy called Dr. George Richer) tries to explain where God is “physically” in the world:

This book explains physically where God is. It explains why you can’t see God. Nor can you see the angels. It explains how they can be right next to you, and can see you and know your every move, while you have no knowledge of their presence. The book outlines a theory, just as Darwin outlined a theory. And just as any scientist supports his theory by checking with physical facts, so this book’s theory about why we can’t see God is tested against the ‘impossible’ ideas of Christianity…. and finds that they support the dimensional hypothesis. So any intelligent, logical materialistic modern thinker can support the Christian teachings about God.

The only person who reviewed the book, “Bob Nelson”, happens to live in the same town and share the same IP address as GeorgeRic (hmm, now I wonder…could be the same person?). So basically this clown comes on the site and recommends his own idiotic book (which he’s the only one to have read and enjoyed thoroughly), trying to pass it off as some sort of explanation for how Christianity is the one true faith. Do these guys ever get tired of their own bullshit?

Man convicted in botched home circumcision of infant son

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There is still a frighteningly large segment of the population that believes the Bible is a useful guide for every day living. Luckily, most of these misguided fools have never actually read the fucking Bible, so for the most part, we’re spared from the ill fate of anyone trying to live by the “Good Book”.

Once in a while, though, you run across a human being who hasn’t quite understood the concept of modern Germ Theory, and attempts to circumcise his 4 year old son on his kitchen floor with a razor blade. In case you want to know just how fantastically STUPID this particular human being is, consider the fact he had already tried it on himself and was admitted to the hospital when his foreskin turned black.

The father had been doing some research online for performing this kind of “surgery” (yes, sometimes the Internet really is shitty). His fundamentalist buddies encouraged him to use a product called Blood Stop, which sounds great until you realize they use this stuff on dogs. This douchebag (who can’t be identified for fear of embarrassing his children to death) couldn’t afford that medicine, so he bought the shit they give to horses instead.

The doctors eventually had to properly circumcise the child, because after a few days of the wound festering, they had to also remove a black, thick tarry substance from the boy’s penis. The dad has his wish, but in reaction the state took away his kids and put them in protective custody. So what does this guy do? He turns around and claims this is religious discrimination. He followed the logic of the Bible, and he wants this to be his constitutional right as a Canadian citizen.

You know what buddy? Fuck you. Seriously, you can’t almost kill your child with a botched attempt at circumcising him and then complain the government is unfair in protecting your other kids, too. You’re obviously not a smart man, and your religious mania places everyone around you at risk. No one stopped you when you fucked up your disaster of a circumcision. If you hate your own penis so much, so be it. The problem we have as a society isn’t how you practice your religion, it’s how you practice it on other people. When you forget about their welfare and place the desires of some invisible deity above those of your children, you’ve failed as a parent. It’s really that simple.