Michigan Satanists Outrage Christians with Invocation

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. This is the lesson that Ottawa, Mich. Christians are beginning to learn. You see, a few months back, the Board of Commissioners was sued by an LGBT group for only allowing Christian prayers before the beginning of meetings. Because of that pesky First Amendment of their own Constitution, the Board was forced to allow other faiths the opportunity to spread their own religion. Enter the Satanic Temple, always there to freak out Christians.

A member call Luis Cypher (I mean, that’s just clever), began his evocation thusly:

“That must be destroyed by truth, should never be spared. It’s demise. It is done. Hail Satan. Thank you very much, we wish everyone a wonderful evening tonight.”

This of course outraged Christians, who still think that followers of the Church of Satan are somehow worshipping the devil. So naturally, they fail to understand that all of this is a reaction to their own unconstitutional practices.

“Tonight you all had failed miserably in your primary responsibility. You have out of the respect for a flawed custom of men allowed worship not only to a false ideal of man’s creation but to the greatest enemy of the all good God who allowed you to fill these positions,” one resident said at the podium while holding a cross.

Obviously that guy watched too many horror movies, thinking that his little torture device does anything at all. It’s the equivalent of clutching your pearls. Honestly, I am always grateful and delighted by the Satanic Church. Who else out there is shoving Christian hypocrisy in their faces like they do? Keep on truckin’, you hedonistic beautiful bastards!

Texas Nuns Defied Vatican over Assets and Lost

If you were ever naïve enough to believe that religion is anything more than a giant money grab, I have a few magic beans I’d love to sell you. When it comes to money, there’s one thing that’s always been consistent with the Catholic Church: they will go to any length to make sure that they get what they want.

In the great state of Texas, a group of nuns fought to retain their independence from the Vatican, and failed spectacularly. It seems as though their property is a bit too lucrative to leave it to a bunch of sexless nuns to run, and so a bunch of allegations magically surfaced about one of them, accusing Rev. Mother Teresa Agnes Gerlach of breaking her vow of chastity by engaging in phone sex. She was forced to leave the church forever for her sin. The priest who engaged in this same activity with her, on the other hand, was given a slap on the wrist.

This smokescreen was all the pretext needed for a hostile takeover. Bishop Michael Olson and other cronies with the “Association of Christ the King”, at the behest of the Vatican, were ordered to take over the monastery. Coincidentally, it just happens to sit on some very sweet real-estate that was being managed by a bunch of girls. This would not stand.

At first, the nuns attempted to take out a restraining order against them, saying that they were operating independently already, and that despite the forced departure of their head nun for having phone sex, they were already governed by a board in any case. They argued that only an order from the Pontiff would change their mind. This was probably due to their naivete, thinking that the Holy See cares for anything other than cold hard cash.

It didn’t take long for the Pope to respond that the nuns should accept the new management, but they tried in vain to keep their independence. The courts told them they had no legal standing, since they were associated with the larger church, and presto, the monastery is now theirs, courtesy of a nice legal loophole that allowed them to pretend than the forceful expulsion of one of their members deserved a complete takeover.

This has all the hallmarks of a 80’s merger and acquisition style movie, with the only difference being that everyone is a sexually repressed weirdo in ridiculous outfits. The comment section in the Catholic Register is filled with angry people pointing out not only the greedy takeover, but also the blatant hypocrisy in the treatment of the nun compared to the priest. What these well meaning fools fail to realize is that this is the intended purpose of their faith. This is not a corruption of the edicts of the church: this is a fulfillment of them. One can only hope that the remaining followers of this powerful and sinister organization will rescind their support. Until then, they will continue to act with impunity and grab more money and power whenever it suits them best.

Florida Pastor Drugged and Abused Young Girl

It seems to me that the headline “Florida Pastor sexually assaults girls” has become so frequent that it should probably be its own subreddit by now. God knows I’ve run out of ways to introduce these vile human beings to you. Still, a job is a job, and something’s got to be done about all these monsters who abuse the power and trust they’ve been given.

Rev. Monte LaVelle Chitty was recently arrested and given severe bail restrictions, as the judge felt that the man was a flight risk. He’s accused of spiking a young girls’ drink, and then assaulting her. He then sent her lude texts admitting to the crime, even claiming that she was not his first victim.

This moron is now in jail, and waiting for a trial date. Prosecutors are certain that there are other victims out there, and are encouraging anyone with information to come forward. Considering how brazen this guy was about this incident, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a litany of other victims out there.

It sounds like an open and shut case for this guy. Hopefully, we’ll see justice be done.

Salem Satanic Temple Attacked with Pipe Bomb

Christians feel persecuted. There is no reason for them to feel this way, but that doesn’t stop them from claiming that other faiths are out to get them. They fear the loss of their power so much that anyone they deem an enemy is fair game.

Take the case of Sean Patrick Palmer, a 49 year old man from Perkins, Oklahoma. He was recently arrested after being captured of film throwing a pipe bomb at a Satanic Temple located in Salem, Mass on April 8th of this year. His intent, it seems, was to destroy “crybaby Satan” with an improvised explosive device.

According to the charging documents, the pipe bomb appeared to have been constructed from a section of plastic pipe covered with metal nails, which were attached to the pipe with tape. The inside of the pipe was filled with a powder-like substance, preliminarily identified as smokeless gunpowder.

He also left a letter, written in all caps, telling Satanists that he was sent by God to first give them a peaceful message to abandon their faith. When that failed, he was then told to “smite” them. The whole thing seems as though it was written by a 5 year old. He certainly has a great deal of mental problems, which were no doubt masked for years under the guise of piety.

DEAR SATANIST
ELOHIM SEND ME 7 MONTHS AGO TO GIVE YOU
PEACEFUL MESSAGE TO HOPE YOU REPENT. YOU SAY
NO, ELOHIM NOW SEND ME TO SMITE SATAN AND I
HAPPY TO OBEY. AND ELOHIM WANT ME TO CONTACT
YOU TO TELL YOU REPENT. TURN FROM SIN. ELOHIM
NO LIKE THIS PLACE AND PLAN TO DESTROY IT. MAYBE SALEM TOO? ELOHIM SEND ME TO FIGHT CRYBABY SATAN, BUT WANT ME TO MAKE HARD EFFORT SO NO ONE DIES. I OBEY.

Palmer was caught because he had posts on social media that matches the clothing of the assailant caught on film. He was also posting weird messages that echoed the hand written note he left at the scene. This jackass now faces up to 20 years in prison. I’m sure he will claim to be yet another religious martyr. It’s easier than facing the truth: that he’s a low IQ arsonist who belongs behind bars.

Florida Book Ban Now Includes Bible

Christians love to ban things. For them, the idea that people should be allowed to make up their own minds is ludicrous. Their god is in charge, and he hates fun things like sex, music, and people who aren’t constantly going on about how amazing he is. This is why they are always trying to make sure that you are as miserable as they are.

In Florida, governor Ron DeSantis has been trying to score points with his religious base for a while. He’s desperate to have the same popularity among evangelicals that his political rival, the giant Orange Turd, benefits from. In a desperate attempt to “be cool”, he’s introduced laws that allow parents to ban books they deem offensive. Since Florida is full of crazies, the broad language of the law does little to clarify what kinds of materials are deemed inappropriate.

Luckily, the Bible is one of the most offensive books ever written. It contains countless examples of rape, genocide, baby killing, human sacrifice, and extreme sexual content that would make any other novel pale in comparison. So much so, in fact that when local agitator and all around amazing named Chaz Stevens started to try and ban the Bible, and even the Thesaurus to point out the absurdity and vagueness of the book banning law, DeSantis declared that the problem was not with his law but with people who abuse the system:

“The idea that someone can use the parents rights and the curriculum transparency to start objecting to every single book to try to make a mockery of this is just wrong,” DeSantis said the day before the bill signing. “That’s performative. That’s political.”

The irony of a career politician accusing someone else of engaging in performative politics is incredible. Sure, Stevens would be the first to admit that he’s a provocateur’s, but his point is to show just how useless and performative DeSantis’ own laws are. So far, he’s doing a bang up job, and it’s driving his governor crazy. He’s a wild idea: why doesn’t Florida just accept that people should be allowed to make their own minds and not try to use the power of the state to impose your own beliefs? It’s something called “freedom”. You should try it!

 

Superstitious Idiot Cancels Autism Awareness in Private School

Christians keep coming up with ways to alienate their own flock. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion. It’s impossible to look away, despite all the carnage.

In Palm Beach County, Florida, there is a school called Trinity Christian Academy. The private school was planning on celebrating World Autism Day by encouraging parents and kids alike to wear the color blue on their person. It could be something as mundane as a pair of socks or a tie. Think St. Patrick’s Day, but no one is pinching you for not participating. There are also no “kiss me I’m on the spectrum” shirts, although this might be because the holiday is still too new for people to figure out how to make money from it.

The planning was then abruptly cancelled by the lead pastor named Matt Baker. He sent out this little gem of an email to parents, many of whom were looking forward to the celebration as a way of making their special needs kids feel included. This was something that Pastor Baker was not going to let slide:

[A]ny philosophy, teaching, or program that teaches our precious children that their identity is found in anything other than Christ is idolatry and demonic. Period.  The world, in its rejection and hatred of Christ, often devises programs such as ‘Autism Awareness’ (and cultural figures like the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, etc.) to get the benefits of His teachings (compassion, kindness, feeling love, and self-worth) without acknowledging Jesus as the ultimate authority and the source of all life.

Please allow me to translate the crazy out of this statement: “Anything that is good and not Jesus is the devil”. Parents like Andrea Gallik were less than impressed. One of her children id autistic, and when she read the email, she was left in tears.

“I’m offended as a Christian because I feel that he is using the Bible for his own interpretation. And his interpretation is offensive. Not just to my son but to any child, adult afflicted with autism… It breaks my heart.”

Newsflash lady: people have been interpreting the Bible to service their own needs ever since it was put into print. That’s the nature of religion. It’s not about truth. It’s about power and control. Simple as that.

Gallik has since pulled her kids from the school. She may not be the only one who leaves because of this fiasco. How many other parents were disgusted at this offensive email? If Christianity is trying to self destruct, then I’m all for it. Keep pushing your own people away, guys! It’s making my job a lot easier!

Eclipse Brings Out the Dummies

April 8th is a special day. If we’re lucky enough, some of us in North America will be able to witness something truly special: a solar eclipse. Now, for most of us, this just means that the moon will cover the sun briefly, giving us a spectacular view of the sun’s corona. For others, it means the end of the world.

Some morons think that eclipses have an effect on how you behave. These idiots are called Astrologers, and 2500 years after this shit was debunked, they are still trying to pretend that the shifting and moving of celestial bodies have something to do with your mood. Rarely has there been such a self absorbed philosophy…oh wait, did I forget something? They certainly aren’t the only game in town.

Christianity, not content with making everyone’s life miserable with their constant hardon for apocalyptic rhetoric, isn’t going to miss this opportunity to scare the living shit out of it’s brainwashed believers. The regular rigmarole of dummies are out there, claiming that the eclipse is a sign of the end time. Of course, just about everything that’s out of the ordinary is a sign, but who’s counting? Certainly not the doomsayers, who have been “predicting” the end of the world ever since the invention of their bullshit religion. April 8th is just one more excuse for secretly wishing that everything would end.

Personally, I’m getting pretty sick and tired of these asshats. It’s one thing to pray to an invisible man in the sky. It’s quite another to openly wish for everyone on Earth to be annihilated. In their desire to see evil gone from the world, they also want all the good destroyed as well. They are so convinced of their own dogma that they think this is a good thing.

I wonder if there’s any money to be made from this. Surely all of these end timers who are convinced that the world is ending in a few days have valuables they no longer need. The cynical part of me wonders if an enterprising person might benefit from this never ending array of idiots. Armageddon insurance maybe? A massive betting pool? Surely those who try and perpetuate this ridiculousness deserve to be punished. Some day, I’ll think of something, I swear.

Iowa Governor Signs New Law Targeting LGBT Groups

Christians have a warped sense of justice. In their eyes, if their favorite religion doesn’t have unilateral control over society, then it means they are being oppressed. It reminds me of a bully that cries fowl the moment someone dares to stand up to them. No content with trying to ram their faith down everyone’s throat, they are now trying to use the legal system to attack groups they dislike.

In Iowa, their governor by the name of Kim Reynolds has signed a new bill in secret during a meeting with a conservative Christian organization, despite the fact that business leaders have vehemently opposed it, afraid that it could spell disaster for the private sector.

A person, corporation, church, foundation or other entity whose exercise of religion has been burdened can go to court to seek damages or other means of redressing the harm against them.

How is a corporation “exercising” their religion? Clearly, this is being done in order for religious groups, upset that they have to treat others with dignity and respect, to be able to sue these groups for money. Many businesses in Iowa will now need to tiptoe around these religious fanatics, lest they be taken to court for offending them.

This kind of unconstitutional law is just another example of religion encroaching on public policy. The first amendment can apparently suck it: so long as people continue to elect these fundamentalist morons, they will continue to create chaos. What person in their right mind would purposefully choose to live there now?

To all my Satanist friends out there, I think it’s time to put this law into effect. Have you been discriminated against because of your love of Baal? I can only imagine the outrage on Christian faces when other faiths start using these laws to sue companies like Hobby Lobby, or Chick-fil-a for discrimination. You know why it’s better for a country to have “no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”? It’s in order for every belief to have an equal footing.

If these guys want to fight dirty, I say we oblige them.

Ghanaian Priest marries 12 year old

When someone tells you that something is part of their traditions, it usually means that you aren’t allowed to question it. Tradition is simply another word for obedience, specifically the kind that involves never questioning where often weird or terrible practices originate, or why they exists at all.

In Ghana, a 63 year old priest named Nuumo Borketey Laweh Tsuru XXXIII is defending his decision to marry a 12 year old girl, saying that Westerners simply don’t understand their traditions. He isn’t the only disgusting creep to do this: roughly 20% of girls below the age of 18 are routinely married off to older men.

Leaders of the Nungua indigenous community, to which both the girl and the priest belong, have condemned the public’s opposition to the marriage, saying the criticism “comes from a point of ignorance”. Nii Bortey Kofi Frankwa II, a local community leader, said on Sunday that the girl’s role as the priest’s wife is “purely tradition and custom”.

That must be why during the ceremony people overheard telling the child to wear perfume in order to be more “prepared” for her wifely duties.

Luckily, there are Ghanaians who are also sickened by the practice, although it’s doubtful that any of them will intervene. Tsuru is a priest, and this makes him practically untouchable. He has tradition to fall back on, and just the power of this word is enough to shut down all opposition. Ghanaian law also recognizes customary marriages, so the whole thing is legal.

So to recap, a tradition dating back centuries that allow old men to rape little girls with zero social consequences continues to be practiced, even in a world where we know this to be wrong. Isn’t religion fun?

Taliban To Resume Stoning Women

Most religions have a deep distrust of the vagina. It’s almost as though the authors of their screeds were the very first incels. That’s not that surprising, really. In the history of mankind, bookish nerds tend not to get the girl, and after a few centuries of this, you can imagine their ire at not getting laid. How else can you explain such deep hatred and distrust of women in the Abrahamic faiths?

It would be difficult to find a more sexually frustrated faith than Islam. This particular group of undersexed, and repressed men have decided that the biggest threat to humanity is the vagina, and the tendency for those who have one of trying to live their own lives. The nerve.

Thanks to the Taliban, the practice of stoning is being revived in Afghanistan.

The Taliban’s supreme leader, Hibatullah Akhundzada, announced at the weekend that the group would begin enforcing its interpretation of sharia law in Afghanistan, including reintroducing the public flogging and stoning of women for adultery.

Over the past few years, over 400 people (mostly men) have been punished by either stoning, lashing, or even Crucifixion (no, I am not making this up). The crimes ranged from drinking alcohol to murder, with the sentences being carried out for the general public to witness. Some even took place in local football fields to ensure maximum visibility, although the use of cameras or other recording equipment is forbidden. Luckily, we know of these because of a few brave souls willing to ignore this edict.

Within the Taliban’s justice system, Sharia punishments are often presented as a religious ceremony, which aligns with the Islamic notion that many of these punishments are considered to be forms of divine justice. One observed pattern, which illustrates the significance of these punishments is the frequent attendance of national and local Taliban officials, judicial staff, police commanders, intelligence staff, religious scholars, ethnic leaders, and residents. The attendance of these figures adds legitimacy to the punishments, providing implicit religious, administrative, and social approval.

All of these public displays were carefully calculated to help make these kinds of punishment seem more and more acceptable. Now, it’s practically become mundane. This has emboldened them to begin to target more women in an effort to undo all of that “western” influence they hate so much, such as the belief in human rights, the idea that torture is unacceptable, and other moral progress that contradicts their favorite little book of horrors, the Koran.

Dallas Man Claimed God told him to Molest Girl

Never trust people who say that they speak with God. For starters, religion is the ultimate expression of ego. It’s a way of trying to justify your personal beliefs by claiming they are divinely mandated. This kind of psychotic view of one’s own understanding of the universe is so common that we totally ignore the fact that millions of people think that an all powerful being believes in exactly the same thing they do.

Christopher Caudill is a 46 year old “man”, who had been abusing a young girl since she was 11 years old, was one such psychopath. News outlets have been very scant with the details. There’s no information about how he chose his victims, or why the abuse was allowed to go on for over 6 years. We do know that he believed his abuse was not only perfectly fine, but was in fact mandated by the all powerful creator of the Universe.

When interviewed by Carrollton police, Caudill admitted he sexually abused the girl and said he abused her because they had a relationship that was “a love like they had in the Bible.”

If you get your concept of “love” from the Bible, then that explains everything. The amount of rape and sexual assault in this book is staggering. Here’s just a few examples:

  • When the Benjamites were told they could kidnap any girl they wanted to rebuild their tribes. Around 600 girls were then raped.
  • Lot’s daughters get their father drunk to rape him.
  • David’s son rapes all of his father’s concubines in front of everyone to prove he’s the new king.
  • God tells Joshua that when the Jews slays their enemies, they can take any virgin who survive as “spoils of war”.

That’s just a few examples, but as you can see, “Biblical Love” is pretty disgusting. The good news is that Caudill was sentenced to life in jail. His sojourn is probably going to be rough, considering what happens to child rapists in jail.

So, remind me again: why should any sane person base their lives on this vile book? I just can’t figure it out.

Prison Justice for Pastor accused of Killing Girl During Exorcism

Prisons have their own form of justice. For those of us not familiar with prison life, we generally think that a building full of criminals must be chaotic, and filled with random violence. It’s far more complicated than that. Inmates have their own code of justice, which can largely be dependent on the state that you are in. This code has a kind of hierarchy of bad, meaning that there are some crimes that are considered “good” (like robbing a bank), and others considered evil (like raping or killing a child). Prisoners will often dispense their own form of punishment, which tends to be deadly.

Now, for the sake of clarity, I must also specify that there is a difference between prison and jail. Prison is where people convicted of a crime go. Jail is the holdover for people suspected of a crime. This is why those in jail still have the presumption of innocence. With that in mind, when former pastor Rene Tigueros Hernandez was booked recently in San Jose over allegations that he killed his 3 year old granddaughter following a botched exorcism, it didn’t take long for one of his neighbors to find out what he had done, and a bunch of them decided to do something about it. Hernandez is 60 years old, so odds are, he didn’t put up much of a fight.

The thing is, the details of the incident are what’s putting his life in danger.

On Monday, a coroner testified that 3-year-old Arely had so many injuries — including blunt force trauma on her face and internal abdominal injuries — that it was impossible to know which injury was “the final blow.” The coroner said she determined Arely’s cause of death was a combination of mechanical asphyxia and smothering

The defense attorney requested that the judge bar the media from publishing or airing “up-to-date-in-court images and video” that make it “easier for hostile inmates in jail to identify and attack him,” Fite wrote.

The thing is, all of this is merely to keep him alive before he can actually go to trial. Once he’s actually in prison, then he’s in big trouble. Prisoners have a way of finding things out about you. Usually this is done on the first day with what is called a “heart check”. A scary looking man approaches you, demands to know for what crimes you are there for, and will often instigate a fight to see if you have any “heart”, and will defend yourself even against a tougher opponent. The worst thing you can be is a child rapist or murderer. These people typically have short stays, followed by a quick trip to the morgue.

Given the extend of the little girl’s injuries, I can’t imagine that his fellow prisoners will give him much leeway. Keep in mind that many of these men are fathers first, and criminals second. No doubt the time away from their loved ones only amplifies their hatred for these types of crimes. Their distorted sense of justice will inevitably lead to more death, perhaps as a way for them to try and atone for their crimes. Such is the primitive nature of prisons. They have their own laws, and codes of justice, and this spells bad news for the Hernandez family.

You see, Hernandez isn’t the only one of the family that was in jail, and the other  members have all said that they’ve been threatened multiple times. Considering the brutality and severity of their victims injuries, I have a feeling that prison life is going to be extremely difficult for them.

All of this tragedy was the result of the fact that Catholics still believe in dangerously stupid shit like demon possession. They think that behavioral problems are the result of satanic forces, and so strong is this belief that the welfare of their own child was less important that their superstitions.

Lutheran Scamming Priest gets 8 months instead of 10 years in Jail

Imagine you steal more than $80,000 from your employer by selling a property and then pocketing the cash. How much time should you be in jail for? A few years maybe? Well, if you’re a religious figure, that number can be brought down to the low low price of only 8 months.

That’s how much time Erin Gullickson, who was the former pastor for the Our Savior Lutheran Church, got: an 8 months in prison handed down by an Illinois court. She’s also been ordered to pay back the 82 grand she stole, with the judge demanding that it be paid back in a year’s time. Unless she joins another church and starts stealing from them, I doubt she’ll be able to make good on it. So far, she’s only agreed to pay back 1000 bucks a month. At this rate, it will take her roughly 7 years to square things off.

Prosecutors were obviously upset that she got the equivalent of a slap on the wrist. A few months in jail and some probation sends a pretty clear message to other would-be scammers: Do the crime, do only a small portion of the time. You see, this is a class B felony, which usually carries a maximum prison sentence of around 10 years. She got less than 10 months.

Feland also disagreed with the notion that Gullickson, who has been in custody since her conviction, should not be subject to further imprisonment. The judge sentenced Gullickson to 10 years in prison but suspended all but time already served and an additional seven months, in addition to three years of supervised probation.

Why is it that the law works differently for religious people? Do they just have to promise that they will do better and are instantly believed? She abused the trust of the people that she ministered to, and literally stole from them. What was the reason for such leniency? If this person had embezzled this money while working at a bank, would she have been given such mercy on her sentence? I highly doubt it.

This shit stinks to high heaven of religious privilege. When will we be free of this special treatment that the faithful get? My guess is never.

Catholic Church Strikes Again

Imagine that you dedicate your whole life to one organization. You give countless hours of your time, and make huge sacrifices to work there. Then, one day, you find out that a coworker of yours has been sexually abusing your own child. Now, can you guess what happened next? Was it a) the organization punished the culprit, b) they apologized to the family and gave some form of compensation, or c) did nothing? Well, if the organization is the catholic church in Lafayette, then you do option d) throw the child rapist a goodbye party, and use your massive wealth to pressure the state’s supreme court to get rid of laws that would give a legal window to allow such institutions to get sued by victims. You can’t make this stuff up.

Michael Guidry, now 78, later pleaded guilty to abusing Oliver Peyton, who was an altar boy. And after Guidry’s church honored him with a goodbye luncheon for which the diocese was forced to apologize, he received a seven-year prison sentence.

That’s not all. When Scott Payton found out about the molestation, he did something most priests refuse to do: he actually bothered to do something about it. First, in 2021, he secured a $350,000 judgement against the Lafayette diocese, a paltry sum for sure, but more than most victims tend to get. Secondly, he actually fought against the churches effort to repeal laws that would allow victims to seek compensation, calling them unconstitutional. As a reward for his hard work, Payton was excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Keep in mind that the Church has never excommunicated any of their members for actually raping kids. That’s forgivable. But going after the Churches money? That’s going too far! We’re non believers, so something as silly as excommunication might seem pretty trivial to us. It is a spiritual death sentence for believers, however. Payton correctly argued that such actions send a chilling message to people who have been abused: talk about it, and we’ll make sure you go to hell.

Now, what find sad in all of this is Payton hasn’t discarded the very beliefs that created the problem in the first place. He still thinks that his belief system can still be redeemed somehow.

“[This] has deeply shaken my faith and trust in the institution to which I have dedicated a significant portion of my life,” Peyton said in his resignation email to Deshotel, which was shared with the Guardian. “This decision is not a rejection of my faith in God or my commitment to living a life guided by Christian principles. Instead, it reflects … a desire to distance myself from an institution that, currently, falls short of the values it professes.”

Falls short? Desires a distance? This guy just admitted that the church does nothing but throw parties for child rapists, and this is considered “falling short”? You have to have your head buried in the sand pretty deep to consider an institution that cast you into the fires of hell for daring to ask for accountability as “falling short”. Does it need to also be engaged in money laundering, or murder to finally get off this dog and pony show? I got news for you: they do that, and much worse, and yet, there are still millions of people convinced that these men are holy. It’s frankly baffling.

So note to self: these guys can rape your own kid, and that still won’t shake your faith in them. Good to know there is no level of depravity low enough for the rest of the world to open their eyes in the face of such fucking evil.

Christians are Crybabies

In an effort to appeal to an increasingly diverse urban population, a UK supermarket chain have angered Christians after they decided to remove the symbol of the cross from their “hot cross buns”. They’ve substituted it with a nike-like swoosh, and this has outraged overly sensitive Christians who believe that unless they have total cultural domination in society, they are somehow “under fire”.

There’s a part of me that wonders if all those early Christian martyrs would be more than a little angry at these hypocrites who pretend that their lives are in danger. Bitch please. These jerks will do everything in their power to suppress other faiths, and then cry like little babies whenever their grip on society starts to slip.