Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Is religion “hard wired” in our brains?

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It occurs to me we have a strange interpretation of what the word “natural” means. We tend to think anything natural must inherently be good or desirable. How many consumer products try to play that annoying angle? I also find it fairly telling that behaviors or lifestyles are deemed “unnatural” are also considered undesirable and evil. Of course, just because something is natural certainly doesn’t mean it’s any good. The bubonic plague is entirely a product of nature, but I certainly don’t want to contract the disease.

We should keep this fact in mind when considering the latest study by psychologists at the Bristol University which argues religious and superstitious beliefs are hardwired in our brains. I think if any of you have watched the Derren Brown video exposing how easily human beings acquire strange habits when looking for patterns, I think you may be inclined to believe perhaps there is some truth to the claim.

Of course, the claim that superstition is hardwired in our brain is perhaps the weakest conclusion anyone can draw. The study determined that even completely rational individuals will have superstitious reactions to various stimulus (like refusing to wear the cardigan of a known murderer), but the conclusion that people with superstitious behavior are somehow more fit to function in society is a stretch by any measure.

We know from experimentation on pigeons that superstitious belief derives from the need to find meaningful patterns in nature. Whether or not a pattern exists is of secondary importance; it matters more that we feel the need to explain and conceptualize a world that can often be strange and randomly cruel.

At the end of the day, even if religious or superstitious belief is a natural phenomenon, why would anyone think this is desirable? Does anyone think there is a survival advantage in thinking breaking a mirror will cause bad luck for 7 years, or throwing salt over one’s shoulder wards off evil spirits? Sure it may be completely natural. Cyanide is natural too, but you don’t see me guzzling a gallon of the stuff, do you?

**NOTE** It turns out the Times article was complete bullshit, and totally distorted the findings in order to have a more controversial and “newsworthy” topic. The author of the study wrote a response that I think will help clarify the situation. When are journalists going to stop distorting the truth just so they can get a few more eyeballs reading their shitty stories? It’s embarrassing…

Hitchens talks about the Jesus myth

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It wouldn’t be a good morning unless it involves Christopher Hitchens laying the smackdown on the notion that the story of Jesus is anything more than a clever fabrication; an exaggeration and distortion of history.

I gets mail!

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I received this email, and I wanted to share “B”‘s story with everyone (he asked that I not include his name, since he works with the boy Scouts and would like to keep his job).

This past summer I staffed a Boy Scout summer camp. I just wanted to share some of my experiences. Before every meal shift, since a scout is “reverent,” we had a volunteer say a “non-denominational” grace. They usually were just speeches and went like this:

Dear God,
Thank you for letting us come to camp this week.
Thank you for the food which we are about to eat.
Please help us complete all of our merit badges.
Please help us have fun during free time.
Please keep everyone safe this week.
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Amen.

All I got from grace was the impression that Christians are ungrateful. I doubt that anyone thanked their parents for working hard every day to earn enough money for them to come to camp, or thanked their adult leaders for taking a week off from work to spend it with them in the middle of the woods. Very few of them thanked the staff for getting up at 5 AM to unload a food truck, or the kitchen staff who worked all day to prepare it for them. I didn’t feel divinely inspired when I was teaching my class and probably wouldn’t mark off requirements just because God told me to. Most of the scouts took it for granted that we would show up and babysit them for the hour and a half of free time so they could break every possible rule just to have fun. I can’t imagine how many people would have gotten hurt during the week if the staff were godless atheists, except that most of us were. We spent a whole week learning CPR, first aid, and every safety precaution that needed to be taken; God didn’t have anything to do with it. I didn’t know that Hindus, Muslims, or Jews believed in Jesus; so much for non-denominational.

One night two staffers and myself were walking back from campsite visits on a dark trail. One of them remarked, “Aren’t you guys scared, there could be ghosts and stuff.” The other one called him stupid for believing in superstitions; I asked him, “Don’t you believe in God?” Neither of them could figure out what that had to do with anything…

One of my better friends while I was there happened to be a home-schooled Catholic. He is really intelligent, he’s writing a 5 act full orchestra musical while in college, and it made me sad to see such a great mind go to waste. Anyway, he had to fill in for the chaplain’s aid one week and give a chapel service. It was supposed to be non-denominational, but he decided it would be better if he became a preacher. At the end of the week, a group of Hindus complained that they didn’t receive a proper chapel service and that it reflected badly on the camp. The camp director, who I was pretty sure was an atheist, had a talk with him. Afterward, I tried to convince him that it was his fault for giving a denominational church service and he should take the punishment for his actions. He wouldn’t accept the fact that he was wrong and went on a tirade against all religions that weren’t Christianity, pointing out that they weren’t real because only his religion was real.

One week I had a student in my class who was slow. He came in during his free time to finish soldering on his electronics kit. While I was talking to him I learned that he was from a local town and considered eating at Whataburger [Jake’s note: I didn’t know what that was, but now I want one] a rare privilege. His favorite movie was Mary Poppins because that was one of the newest movies they had. Somehow we got onto the topic of religion and he mentioned that he didn’t see how anyone could be an atheist, and didn’t think they counted as people. I asked him why he thought that; the only reason he could come up with was that his pastor told him so. When I asked him if he liked me, he told me I was his favorite counselor. It’s really sad how the church is taking advantage of his disability and economic status by brainwashing him into thinking that his religion can do no wrong and that all the others were an unforgivable sin.

It’s sad, but I’m not entirely surprised. They are accustomed to making anyone who doesn’t believe in their theology the “bad guys”. It’s a shame the Boy Scouts are such a religiously motivated organization, because I actually think learning about survival skills, being in the woods with their peers, and sharing positive experiences with others is a great thing for kids. Considering you have to keep your identity secret, I’m sure you feel the same way.

John Safran tells it like it is

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This scene is from “John Safran vs God“, a television program from Australia. Although his voice may be shrill and annoying, the guy knows how to make good television (I strongly recommend downloading it). Hopefully, I’m one of those guys who’s smart enough to be an atheist, but hey, you never know…

A Double Standard

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Does this cartoon offend you? Personally it’s poorly done, there’s no joke there, and in general it’s insultingly terrible. Still, it’s a fucking cartoon, and should be no big deal, right? Well, not so much. Remember a few years back when a Danish Newspaper published cartoon depicting Mohammed, and the Muslim community basically had a fucking meltdown? Well, it seems as though there was another bit of news going on in the background at the time worth mentioning. The Arab European League published a cartoon during the affair with the intent of offending Jews by denying the Holocaust. Their goal was apparently to show that it’s not only Muslims that get upset over free speech issues, and sure enough it worked; the group is now being prosecuted under Holocaust denial laws.

I’ve always said Holocaust denial laws are both pointless and dangerous; while I am personally repulsed by the notion certain individuals choose to deny the atrocities committed by the Nazis, trying to use the long arm of the law to silence these people has exactly the opposite effect. It demonstrates Europe is incapable of living by the principle of free speech. The truth is when people are allowed to say what they want, occasionally they will say something horrible and offensive; it’s inevitable. How can we blame Muslims for overreacting to simple cartoons when we are prepared to jail people for making a few shitty scribblings?

Muslim actress kidnapped by family for living Western lifestyle

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It amazes me how much people hold on to their religion, even after it makes their lives miserable. Sofia Hayat is an actress singer and model who grew up in an extremely religious family. She was routinely beaten and tortured for having a free spirit, and when she left home, she began to live a life her mother and father disapproved of. They kidnapped her, threatened to kill her, and eventually the police had to be involved.

And despite everything, she still believes the problem is not her religion, but rather the fact her parents never read the Koran properly. If they did, she argues, they would have realized it preaches peace and understanding.

Hardly. Yes, I’m sure some people can interpret the text to mean that, but I think by now it should be plainly obvious that the book merely reinforces what you already believe. She likes Western values, so for her, the Koran reflects these values. For her conservative parents and siblings, the book has a completely different meaning. This is the inherent problem of all religions: because they are all ambiguous, inexact, and deeply reflective of their primitive origins, they are completely out of their depth in our modern age. She can ignore the elephant in the room, but the real problem here is that her religion encourages its followers to be submissive, ignorant, stupid and proud of it. You can try placing the blame somewhere else, but you’ll be hard pressed to find any valid reasons why parents should be so cruel and violent towards their own children. Their first love is God, and everything else takes a back seat.

Mark Sanford thinks God is on his side

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Remember Mark Sanford? He was caught red handed having an affair with a hot Argentine woman he called his “soul mate”, but the weight of the scandal hasn’t deterred him from leaving his post. Presumably, the man doesn’t know how to do anything other than misuse public funds and break his vows of matrimony. It does sound like he’s tailor made for politics, doesn’t it?

Since no one wants to back him up, he’s decided to turn to his only friend: God. After battling Obama’s stimulus plan (which would have been spent primarily on education in his state), he says he wants to stay and fight for “conservative values”, whatever the hell that means. He’s also delusional enough to think that the reason his approval ratings are so low is because of the need to defend himself rather than the fact that taxpayers are frankly tired of Representatives misusing public funds to go fuck their mistresses in Buenos Aires. But I digress.

Mark, no one is on your side, especially not your invisible friend. Have you considered the fact that perhaps it’s time to seek new employment? Maybe it’s time to go and enjoy life with your Latin lover. At the very least, stop hanging around Congress like some half dead zombie no one wants to touch with a ten foot pole. If you still want a career in politics, try laying low for a few years. Maybe then we’ll forget that you’re just a liar who can’t read the writing on the wall. Ok, probably not, but I’m sure you’d make an excellent car salesman or something.

Kentucky gets a little wiser

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After the attacks of 9/11, the US Department of Homeland Security was created to supposedly defend America from terrorist attacks. This very broad mandate has created one of the largest departments in the US government, and considering the frequency of terrorism attacks, I would argue that with an annual budget of roughly 52 billion dollars, they are an utterly useless and pointless organization. Of course, try telling that to Americans petrified by the possibility of another terrorist attack.

Even if terrorists were crashing one Boeing 747 a day, it would still be safer to travel by plane than by car, but that doesn’t stop over 40,000 people from dying on the highway every year (compare that to 120 each year who perish in plane crashes. That makes the odds of dying in a plane roughly 0.00003%). Meanwhile, Americans spend billions of dollars chasing ghosts while more pressing issues are being ignored.

I find the whole organization very suspect, especially in light of the fact that the Bush Administration, already heavily entangled in religion, set it up. I always suspected there were religious undertones to the organization, and this latest story out of Kentucky confirmed some of my fears.

It seems as though some disturbing amendments were added to the state office of Homeland Security when it was created, stressing the “dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth”. American Atheists Inc. and 10 Kentuckians (yes, that is what they call themselves) filed a lawsuit to have the reference to God removed, and to my great surprise, they’ve succeeded!

State Rep. Tom Riner (D-Louisville) added the amendments before anyone was really paying attention, and is disappointed by Judge Thomas Wingate’s ruling that the statement violated the Establishment Clause of the Constitution.

I find it particularly funny Riner seems to think “God is not a religion”, and “God is God”. Hey Riner, what the hell is that supposed to mean, anyways? Don’t you think making reference to an invisible and supposedly all powerful sky god constitutes a religion? Just sayin’.

You so naughty, girl!

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You know that stereotype that all conservative women are really just secret perverts who turn to religion as a doomed way of getting their perversion under control? Well, here’s another story proving that there seems to be a bit of truth to the idea. Kristin Maguire is a religious conservative with an alter ego who writes and publishes pornographic stories online. She was also the chair of the SC state board of education until it was discovered she was also one naughty little girl. Here is some of her work:

Erik’s eyes slid closed on another groan. I could feel his dick swelling up as my swallowing and his hip pumping synched. My mouth watered in anticipation of being filled with his cum. His balls drew up and I knew he was close. I increased the tempo of my swallowing, driving him to his climax. I wanted to finish Erik before Joren finished himself.

That’s the tamest paragraph I could find, and as you can probably tell, this story is about a happy little threesome. You can check out the rest of it here (you better hurry; she’s trying to destroy all evidence of her writing), and as you’ve guessed, it’s obviously not safe for work. It reads right out of a cheesy porn flick, but I actually LIKE porn, so why would I complain? I just feel sorry for Kristin, who seems to have a lot of sexual imagination; something that’s probably creating a lot of internal conflict with her religion.

Hey, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with writing filth. Personally I love this kind of stuff. Still, I always laugh whenever a conservative gets caught doing something they publicly deride. Hey, we’re all human here, and we all love porn. It’s just a shame so many people have to pretend they don’t so they can feel morally superior to others.

Embrace your hedonism Kristin, and keep writing your naughty stories! Just stop telling everyone evolution is wrong, and students should be taught abstinence instead of sex ed. Remember: not everyone is as sexually repressed as you!

Online survey identifies Bible’s worst passages

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If you’ve never read Carl Sagan’s “The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark“, do yourself a favor and pick it up. One of his chapters deals specifically with the Inquisition, and the slaughter of an estimated 100,000 women at the hand of the Church. Although the West has generally stopped prosecuting women for the crime of “witchcraft” (the last person convicted was in 1944), in Africa, the problem is still rampant. The growing influence of Christianity has tragically created a powder keg situation, as ancient superstitions are met with the violent rhetoric of the Old Testament, which states quite plainly witches are to be killed.

I found this article to be both amusing and frustrating; an online survey asked respondents which parts of the Bible they found most disturbing, and Exodus 12: verse 18, which states “Do not allow a sorceress to live” was ranked third. I’m sure no one in the Church would ever imagine removing this verse, or any of the others that command genocide, rape, or infanticide.

Simon Jenkins, editor of shipoffools.com, said: “It doesn’t have to be a textbook of infallible information and unbreakable laws to be God’s book. And it doesn’t have to be one big pile of lies because of its dodgy bits. In Chapter and Worse we are attempting to rescue it from rival takeover bids.”

Simon seems to be under the impression changes to the Bible are possible (and very desirable), but fails to realize as soon as anyone starts messing with it, there will be no end to the editing. If the book really is God’s word, what parts are you supposed to keep and what parts are you going to throw out? Is there even any reason to believe individual Christians would follow a Bible with huge chunks taken out? Jefferson rewrote the Bible with only the ethical elements included, and no one is reading that one. Who decides what God said, and what some dude made up?

I think many Christians naively think people who kill witches, behead homosexuals and justify their cruel and inhumane actions through the “Good Book” are perverting their faiths. The truth is these people are actually fully expressing their beliefs, and using the same book “we” do in the West. This is why tragedies will continue to occur, all in the name of religion. The fact that we don’t kill witches here is historically a fairly recent phenomenon, and there is no reason to believe this trend will continue on forever.

It’s sad that even believers recognize the trouble within their own holy texts, and yet chose to keep such dangerous passages out of the foolish belief that the Bible is the infallible word of God. You can’t edit this volume; it’s a lost cause. We have far better ideological and ethical tools that do not require primitive and stupid mythologies to prove their point. The Bible no longer reflects the way we feel about women, different “races”, and homosexuality. Is there really anything left when you take out the nasty parts anyways? What can a book written by primitive and ignorant desert people really teach us?

Pope blames atheists for environmental problems

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If I had to write an article every time the pontiff opens his mouth and says something stupid, I would honestly never get any rest. Aside from the fact this man considers himself the holy avatar between humanity and God, the institution maintains all popes are immune from error. Catholic dogma states that because they are under the influence of the Holy Spirit, all Popes are immune from even the possibility of error. They call this stupid and obviously wrong assertion: “papal infallibility“.

I can appreciate the efforts made by the Catholic church these days concerning the environment. It’s nice to see they recognize that Jesus isn’t coming down to fix our problems anytime soon (even though that won’t stop them from praying for it), since the alternative is frightening to say the least.

Experiencing the shared responsibility for creation (Cf. 51), the Church is not only committed to the promotion of the defense of the earth, of water and of air, given by the Creator to everyone, but above all is committed to protect man from the destruction of himself. In fact, “when ‘human ecology’ is respected in society, environmental ecology also benefits” (ibid).

We should keep in mind this environmental “revelation” is a fairly recent phenomenon. The Catholic Church, for the most part, has always maintained that Earth and every creature on it was the property of man, put there by God for us to enjoy. Now that global warming is such a huge issue, the Pope is quick to put the blame for our environmental problems on his favorite scapegoats: atheists.

Is it not true that inconsiderate use of creation begins where God is marginalized or also where is existence is denied? If the human creature’s relationship with the Creator weakens, matter is reduced to egoistic possession, man becomes the “final authority,” and the objective of existence is reduced to a feverish race to possess the most possible.

Actually, I would venture to guess that the percentage of atheists who care about the environment is probably much higher than our religious counterparts. We also don’t pray for some magical sky-man to solve our problems for us, so I would say we actually have the advantage there as well.

The Pope can deny reality if he chooses to, but I’m annoyed every time this asshole tries to blame the world’s problem on non-believers. Last time I checked, we weren’t telling people dying of AIDS to avoid using condoms, but hey, I’m sure they could make us look like that bad guys on that one too.

(NOTE: The church has since taken down the article)

Band forced to abandon “evolution of brass” logo

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If you think evolution is controversial, then I’m sorry to inform you that you are an idiot. I can’t say it any other way. If you deny the earth is round, or gravity exists, you’d be getting the same reaction. In every educated country around the world, the fact of evolution isn’t disputed. Why would it be? It’s one of the most rigorously tested scientific theories of all time, with so many converging lines of evidence, including fossils, radiometric dating, and of course, DNA. Every time a new discovery is made, it only strengthens the theory more.

We’re all familiar with the popular image of a monkey slowly “evolving” into a man, and this image alone is enough to send right wing fundies into a frenzy; a band in Sedalia, Missouri was forced to turn in their shirts after parents complained about their logo (see above).

The explanation given by school officials is extremely disappointing and weak (expecting anything less?):

Pollitt said the district is required by law to remain neutral where religion is concerned. “If the shirts had said ‘Brass Resurrections’ and had a picture of Jesus on the cross, we would have done the same thing,” he said.

Too bad evolution isn’t actually a religion, or that would almost have made sense. It would be like banning t-shirts with pictures of the solar system because this conflicts with the view that the Earth is the center of the universe. It’s absolute nonsense to think this is an Establishment Clause issue.

The school needs to reverse this policy, and rational minded individuals who don’t literally believe in fairy tales need to get involved. We can’t keep letting these idiots win like this. When science is undermined, we all lose.

Intelligent Design gets PWNED. Again.

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The hilarious thing about Intelligent Design is it explains absolutely nothing about the natural world. It’s proponents would have us believe nature is so complex that only the power of a God (let’s not beat around the bush here) could possibly account for the existence of even the most basic forms of life. Because this hypothesis is built on the “God in the Gaps” argument, there is no need for any ID proponent to try and seek “proof” of their claims. So long as science can’t answer everything, they will continue to try and erode the public’s confidence in one of the most rigorously tested theories in science: evolution.

Well, it just got a little harder for these idiots to try and undermine science: researchers at Yale University believe they have discovered how Mitochondria (which provides energy to our cells) evolved from a free-living bacteria to one of the most critical components in our bodies. It’s a big step forward for science, and another blow for ID morons trying to pretend they understand the scientific method.

A discovery like this should be the final nail in the Intelligent Design coffin, but since there are still so many things we need to discover, there will always be those who seek to insert God in there somewhere. These poor, desperate fools want their mythology to be true so badly they are willing to try and destroy science to accomplish their goal. They are not harmless fools, but rather enemies of science and reason who seek to return us to the Bronze Age out of the stupid conviction that “scientific naturalism” leads to moral and ethical decay (this despite the fact that war, crime, and conflict is historically at an all time low).

If you want to believe in your precious God, then you’re free to do so; just don’t try to bring him into the laboratory where people are actually trying to get work done, thanks.

Catholic Church health care stance is schizophrenic

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Here’s a great article about the Catholic Church and their attempt to force the Obama administration to exclude any abortion provision to their reform. Despite the fact the Church has been asking the government for decades to provide citizens with Universal health care (I’ll give them props for that one), they are now threatening to withdraw their support because women who have been sexually assaulted or who’s lives may be in danger due to their pregnancy would be able to have an abortion.

I think it’s about time the Catholics drop this issue once and for all. It’s not something they are about to win. In our modern society, we recognize women ultimately have the right to control their own bodies. The fact that the Church is trying to use its influence to potentially kill reform because of abortion proves they are more interested in zygotes than they are in living, breathing human beings.

Some bishops argue that they do care about the poor while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge that poor women have the right to determine the fates of their own bodies. Bishop Murphy of Rockville Centre, N.Y. says, “we strongly oppose inclusion of abortion as part of a national health care benefit.” But he also calls healthcare “not a privilege but a right.” The glaring discrepancy is obvious, but to be fair, spotting neon contradictions and gaping holes in logic are not the Catholic church’s strong suits.

Couldn’t have put it any better myself.

Glenn Beck is annoying

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Glenn Beck needs to stop thinking he’s William Wallace from Braveheart. He always looks like he’s on the edge of tears for absolutely no reason. It must be a sad time to be a Republican if they gravitate towards such a fat and annoying crybaby. Your whinny, desperate speeches only inspire the delusional or stupid, Glenn.