Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Super Atheism

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I have to admit this fucking guy confuses the hell out of me. Martin Martinovich (who seems Russian to me) has a religion called “Super Atheism”, a belief that a super advanced alien civilization created man as he exists today (by crossing Chimp DNA with their own “Super Sapien” DNA). He also claims the legend of Atlantis is present all over the world, even though the only mention of it is in Plato’s Republic (guess that doesn’t really matter to him). For him, Atlantis is actually the home planet of our genetic masters in the sky, which orbits the Sirius star. Yep, sure sounds like atheism to me!

This junk is your standard New Age bullshit, except this one tries to use the word “atheism” in it. As an unbeliever, I have to tell you this idiotic and fanciful theory is both extremely childish, stupid, intellectually dishonest, and embarrassing. I can sum it up nicely by quoting a few passages from Martinovich’s own website:

Super Atheism respects and understands the power of RA: a hidden cosmic light as a balance, nature’s low, structure of the Universe and mankind that lives within. Light determines meaning, structure, and purpose of everything: known and unknown. Light has a constant tendency to become a matter.

What the hell does this garbage mean?

Italian atheist suing over Jesus’ existence

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Here’s a bit of weird news: an Italian atheist is suing a parish priest for repeatedly claiming Jesus Christ was a historical figure. Luigi Cascioli is a 72 year old lifelong non-believer who has grown tired of Italians blindly accepting the notion of the literal existence of God, and has decided to involve the courts.

It’s a fairly amusing tactic, but since the burden of proof is on Cascioli to disprove the existence of Jesus, it’s likely he won’t win (just try disproving the existence of fairies why don’t you?). Rev. Enrico Righi has already pulled out the “Josephus and Tacitus” card, claiming these two historians, who lived decades after the supposed death of Jesus, wrote vaguely about a ‘Christus’ figure, therefore somehow proving his existence. As to the supposed God like powers of the guy, there’s no mention of it.

I’ve always argued that although someone may have existed by such a name, it’s unlikely the person identified in the New Testament ever existed at all. The fact none of his supposed miracles are ever mentioned outside the Bible should tell you it’s about as accurate as Homer’s The Odyssey. Is it surprising that people who exaggerate or confabulate stories in order to make it more thrilling? Have you never watched a movie “based on a true story” before? They usually don’t stick very much to the source material, if you know what I mean.

At the same time, I don’t like the idea of courts getting involved here. I admire Luigi’s tenacity and sheer gumption, but I don’t feel it is necessary for a court of law to decide whether or not priests are allowed to make historical claims about their deities. It smacks me as very totalitarian to force conformity through the mechanism of law. It’s best that people come to their own conclusion that all religions are bullshit.

Go to Church, Gays!

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I had a vision the other night. I was reading an article about Christian ecumenism (which means interfaith dialog), and I realized the issue of homosexuality will, in the long run, destroy the progress that various branches of Christianity have made in “getting along”. In a nutshell, ecumenism is a way for different faiths to show respect towards one another, and to have progressive dialogs with one another. Since the common ground of all Christian faiths is belief in Jesus, a greater tolerance has been possible between faiths that used to be openly hostile towards one another.

Of course, the issue of homosexuality is still something the various branches of Christianity have had trouble reconciling with. Some faiths are beginning to show more tolerance, while others are taking a hard stance. Most churches try and take a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy, but as gays begin to make their sexual orientation a matter of public interest, and because of our growing understanding and compassion regarding gay and lesbian issues, parishioners will continue to pressure church authorities to take definitive stances.

In the long run, this can’t be good for Christianity. It will divide them, essentially destroying their interfaith dialog they have worked so hard to create. In other words, the cohesion of Christianity will fall apart and crumble in the face of the issue of homosexuality.

A significant portion of gays are also very religious, as this article points out. This means as gays gain more confidence and pride, and numbers, their churches will have no choice but begin to change their doctrine and beliefs to accommodate this new important demographic. This compromise will in turn make various faiths draw the battle line, and in the end, as the dialog disintegrates, the loser in all of this will be Christianity.

So, I want more gays going to church, and to challenge their fellow parishioners to force their priests to take some sort of stance on homosexuality. With you guys doing all the work, us atheists will be free to just sit back and watch as this storied institution crumbles under the weight of such controversy. It’s gonna be sweet!

Smack them Christians down!

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Ok, so I’ll admit the song is actually kind of lame, but I can dig all the effort they put behind this thing. It’s obviously very tongue-in-cheek, and I’m glad the fat guy from Office Space is still getting work (he played the corrupt minister in the beginning).

The Catholic Church trying to prevent child sex abuse laws in New york

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There’s a bit of legislature floating around that is having a hard time becoming law. It’s called the Child Victim Act, and here is a great article talking about how the New York Catholic Conference, a Christian lobby group,  is pushing to kill the act. The CVA is designed to extend the statute of limitation on child abuse by another five years, thus allowing abuse victims a longer “window” to come forward. Anyone who has ever been abused as a child will tell you how difficult a process this is, and the extra time is designed to accommodate for this difficulty.

Of course, Catholics are crying bloody murder, saying this extension will basically bankrupt the Church because of all the settlement payments they are having to dish out. Even if that was true, why the fuck should we care? Perhaps they should have thought about that before they started shuffling child molesters instead of bringing them to justice. No religion that practically institutionalizes child abuse should be exempt from the laws of the land. The fact the Church is even fighting this goes to show how they really feel about children.

The saddest thing is the collusion of the some of the faithful in vilifying the victims, and accusing them of trying to take the Church’s money. It’s a sad day when people identify more with the abusers than the abused. (thanks Kylyssa for the correction there) I’m not sure any of those people would feel the same if their own children were victims of abuse. Child abuse ruins people’s lives. That the Catholic church is fearful of losing money should concern no-one. If you’ve done the crime, you need to do the time. That’s all there is to it.

Test your Faith vision!

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Blog superstar Pharyngula posted this yesterday, and I thought it was too funny not to show those of you who don’t follow his blog the works of Edward Current. He’s done tons of videos like this. What’s great about them is they tend to fall under Poe’s Law for some, and it’s always funny to read the YouTubers who think he’s actually being serious.

Nigeria is still messed up

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Continuing our coverage of the messed up situation in Nigeria, here is a video care of Unreasonable Faith showing a mob of Christians faithful to Helen Ukpabio disrupting a humanist conference. The main issue they were going to discuss was the huge problem of abused children suspected of “witchcraft”.

The humanists (dressed in white) try in vain to calm everyone down, but in the end they can just sit and watch as these nutjobs yell, scream and jump around like wild animals. At minute 1:26, they attack one of the peaceful humanists, breaking his glasses and stealing a bag containing his camera and cell phone. How Christ-like of them, no?

Children in Nigeria are being tortured and killed over this superstitious nonsense, and meanwhile, monsters like Helen Ukpabio are making a small fortune from their ignorant and violent flock. I admire all of the courageous Nigerian men and women who fight against this terrible religiosity, especially in light of such terrible odds.

APA report says “stop converting gays”

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OK, I’m paraphrasing here, but the APA concluded yesterday that there is no evidence therapies meant to change someone’s sexual orientation are effective or healthy. In fact, their findings showed lasting changes were unlikely, and asked mental health practitioners to stop suggesting this kind of therapy.

The article seems to tap dance around the real reason why these types of therapies exist: Religious conservatives feel homosexuality is a travesty, and a closer relationship with Jesus will somehow make gay men straight. The ‘therapies’ they’ve devised aren’t based on any real scientific understanding, but rather on the spurious reasoning that sexual orientation is a choice rather than an orientation. The APA suggests that people remain ‘creative’ when dealing with this issue, but they seem to ignore the elephant in the room: so long as religious bigots continue to crusade against homosexuality, these types of bullshit therapies won’t go away.

Is this surprising to anyone with half a brain? If you’re heterosexual, how likely is it that a therapy session would convince you to start finding the same sex attractive? In a universe with no God, where human evolution is the product of mutation and change, why is it so surprising that some humans might be born feeling attraction to the same sex? We predictably see this type of behavior in nature (gay penguins anyone?). Hey Christians, stop trying to convert gays and let them get back to giving straight people makeovers or something. That’s what they all do, right?

Tired Christian Claim #4: Atheists are mean and offensive

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In Grand Valley Texas, a group of atheists have been trying unsuccessfully to buy billboard space from a company called Lamar Advertising. It seems the owner finds the ads to be offensive and inappropriate, this despite the fact he’s recently allowed the escort service “MyPlayBunny.com” to broadcast their sleazy (and sexy) service.

The accusation that atheism is insulting and offensive is getting a lot more popular as a defense these days. Whether it’s a bunch of Fox News anchors complaining about how atheists are ruining Christmas, or a BBC special asking the question of Are Atheists Intolerant, I can’t help but feel all of this is because of the growing popularity of the atheist movement. Although we may be winning the debates on the existence of God, the media has decided the most important story is the one about how upset people are when told there is no Supreme Creator.

Atheism is a fairly recent phenomenon; not because humans don’t have a history of doubt (hey, even one of Jesus’ disciples doubted him), but because the punishment for undermining the authority of the Church was usually brutal and swift. Religions don’t tend to prosper very long when apostasy or dissent is tolerated. Atheism is nothing new: the Old Testament acknowledges nonbelievers, calling them fools for refusing to believe in their God. The fact this same book also suggests friends and family members who believe in something different should be stoned to death, makes me believe it was still quite rare for anyone to “come out” of the atheist closet very often. It would have been pretty foolish to tell anyone around you about how you really felt about God, especially if there were large rocks around.

The idea that anyone believing in God would need to defend their beliefs is such a recent phenomenon that many Christians are beginning to feel persecuted. This is not a faith accustomed to challenge. Even internal doctrinal conflicts usually resulted in deadly conflict, and any heretics would face severe punishment or death for even questioning the supremacy of the Church (they only recently pardoned Galileo for his crime of denying the Earth was the center of the universe, so one could say they tend to hold a bit of a grudge).

The fact these now more tolerant Christians are complaining about hurt feelings is a historically meek response when compared to what the reaction would have been if the Atheist Movement (as it exists now) had started a few decades ago. I suppose in this light, being told we are “mean” is such a measured response that we should feel lucky that we haven’t been tortured, burned alive, or killed for debating with these guys. Yet.

Of course, that doesn’t suddenly mean we should accept the accusation we are being intolerant for openly discussing religion. I haven’t met a single atheist who thought religion should be banned, or that anyone should be forced to abandon their most sacred beliefs. Our real dispute is with the religious right and their attempt to undermine scientific progress. It’s already plainly obvious to us most Christians will continue to believe what they do DESPITE any evidence to the contrary. If you want to live in a bubble of delusion, we really couldn’t care less. But when you start making claims we know are false, that’s when we atheists start getting fired up.

So stop trying to play the sympathy card, Christians; you don’t exactly have a history of being very open to discussion and debate. Sure, you may feel uncomfortable being told your beliefs are wrong (it must also burn pretty bad that the smartest guys seem to be on our side), but it doesn’t mean the people debating with you are doing so simply for the sake of hurting your feelings. Christians just have to get used to the fact they aren’t controlling the narrative anymore. Scary, isn’t it?

Who wants to buy a Creationist Theme Park?

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If you’ve never heard of Kent Hovind, then allow me to relieve your ignorance. My friend Jeff practically had an obsession with the guy, and I’ve watched hours of videos of this creationist moron trying to prove the Earth is only a few thousand years old. Kent had a Creationist Amusement park for a while, but he failed to pay any taxes for a decade (he claimed he was employed by God, and therefore exempt from taxes), and as a result, the IRS threw his sorry ass in jail.

After years of limbo, a federal judge has finally cleared the government to seize the property in order to sell it. That means any enterprising person with half a million dollars to spare can become the proud owner of “Dinosaur Adventure Land”. If you’re not sold on the idea, just check out their winning sales pitch taken directly from their site:

DAL is not an amusement park, for “amuse” means “to not think,” and we want people to think. Rather, it is an amazement park. Come and stand amazed at the truths of the Creator and Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.

Yes, clearly there’s a lot of thinking going on in a Creationism theme park, and now you to can own this steaming pile of ignorance for the low price of $430,000, and be intellectually dishonest to children for generations to come!

*(NOTE: The website has since been taken down and is no longer maintained)

The Free Money Movement

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Here’s an interesting new little “movement” that might interest some of you guys. It’s called the “Free Money Movement“, which admittedly is a little less awesome than the name suggests. The idea is to cross out the words “in God We Trust” from all US currency as an act of civil disobedience. As many of you may already know, the addition of this phrase is a relatively new phenomenon; Congress only made the motto “official” in 1956. It’s clearly a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, but the Supreme Court in their infinite wisdom, declared Government recognition of God does not constitute the establishment of a state church. Right, and including it in the pledge of allegiance must also not violate the establishment clause, right?

It’s supposed to be a federal offense to deface money, but from everything I’ve read, no one has ever been arrested for this act of defiance (presumably because of the degree of press it would generate). The debate about the use of God on American Currency needs be re-opened. For a country that prides itself on the separation of church and state, this motto is an insult to your Constitution, to your Founding Fathers, and is generally an embarrassment. There might be more important issues to tackle, but I’m always up for a little social upheaval. Bring on the Sharpies, people!

LDS Church warns against dangers of MMORPGs

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If you are a Mormon, or have ever been one, you know full well the Church is not a live and let live organization. They are involved in every aspect of your life, from dictating what kind of food you put in your mouth, to the choice of underwear. In this article, the Church warns of the dangers of MMORPGs, which they consider to be an idle waste of time.

“One of the ways Satan lessens your effectiveness and weakens your spiritual strength is by encouraging you to spend large blocks of your time doing things that matter very little. I speak of such things as sitting for hours on end watching television or videos, playing video games night in and night out, surfing the Internet, or devoting huge blocks of time to sports, games, or other recreational activities.”

If the Church had it their way, you would be spending your time doing something more “useful”, like praying, thinking about Jesus, or reading the joke they call The Book of Mormon. I could tell you that the real waste of time is bothering to talk to your invisible friend all day instead of learning about the world around you, but who the fuck am I to judge what the hell you do? At the end of the day, anything could be considered a waste of time. So long as it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone else, I really don’t see the harm

Now there will always be people who abuse a good thing, and that’s just a fact of life. You can’t save people from themselves, but like all addictions, people will eventually get bored and try something else. Let’s just hope they don’t turn to a religion that thinks Native Americans descended from the Jews. What a stupid waste of time that is!

Christians burned alive in Pakistan

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A small Christian village was attacked by thousands of angry Muslims in Pakistan, and among the dead was a 7 year old child. Local religious leaders enticed their young Muslim followers to murder after it was reported that an important Christian leader had defiled the Koran. Armed with guns and fire bombs, the group set fire to a number of houses. While many Christians managed to escape, some were caught in the fire and burned to death.

This is perhaps what separates most atheists from our religious counter-parts: this kind of act disgusts us. I may not like Christianity, but what I hate more is the senseless killing of innocent lives, regardless of their creed. We distrust religion because it gives absolute power to the corrupt and vile; preachers and imams who fuel the fires of hatred, and command their flock to murder.

And at the end of the day, what the fuck are these idiots fighting over? It’s obvious that without the strong influence of Enlightenment values, religions still war with another over the most trivial issues. Way to prove that peace and religion are still incompatible! Couldn’t have made a better case myself.

This is what passes for “fair and balanced” at Fox News

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Here Steve Doocy shows us precisely why Fox News is such a bankrupt news organization. According to this moron, putting the word God in your ad signifies that you must believe in him. By that logic, putting up a sign that says there is no Santa somehow secretly acknowledges the existence of the jolly bearded one. Fox’s new slant on the whole controversy of atheism is to constantly remind us that people are “offended” by non-religious individuals who are speaking their minds. Guess what guys, it isn’t a fucking crime to offend anyone (well, not yet at least), so get over yourselves.

Can you recognize the relative success of these ads now? Every time one goes up, the media literally goes bananas. I’m starting to appreciate the subtle genius of this campaign, don’t you?

Indian witchdoctor beheads 5 year old girl

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Superstitious beliefs are deadly. I know most of you in the Western World barely give this a second thought, but in many parts of the world, ancient and deadly rituals are still being practiced. In a small village in India, a 5 year old girl was lured into a field where she was decapitated by the local witchdoctor. He killed poor little Vandana Kumari in order to help a local man produce a male heir. Because a number of young boys had died in early childhood, a human sacrifice was apparently needed to “get rid of these problems”.

In rural parts of India, these kinds of superstitious rituals are still practiced, and the results are always tragic. When will human beings stop believing in the completely absurd? Why the fuck would chopping off a little girl’s head help someone have a male child?

The three men involved have been arrested, so I hope there will be justice for little Vandana’s parents. I would have preferred she lived a healthy productive life, but I guess I’ll have to settle for these douchebags to be in jail for a long time instead.