Category Archives: Blog

The Dali Lama is Disgusting

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What do the words of a child abuser mean to you? How about when that person is a religious leader of an entire faith? Last February, the Dali Lama (aka Tenzin Gyatso) was caught kissing a young Indian boy on the mouth, and asking him to “suck his tongue”. His spokespeople were quick to try and dismiss the act as something quite innocent:

“His holiness often teases people he meets in an innocent and playful way, even in public and before cameras. He regrets the incident.”

Yes, I love it when I’m teased by a sexually repressed human being that has the least healthy relationship with sex of any class of person. We can only guess as to what this man does when the cameras aren’t around. If you still think that this cult leader is anything more than a disguised abuser, then I don’t know what to tell you.

The S.I.S.T. cult

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In the 1970’s, a recent convert to Christianity named Rama Behera moved to the town of Shawano after a “vision” had told him to spread the word of the Lord. Like many grifters and opportunists before him, this mission would require the control over the lives of others. Behera’s targets had been primed with the idea of God, and the belief that to fill their spiritual angst, total submission to “the word”, generously interpreted by him, was required. To gain legitimacy, he needed only to give himself a new name and an impressive title. He chose Dr. Rama Chandra Samanta Roy, and his congregation was called “The Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ”. In a 1970’s disillusioned with the spiritual messaging of the free love generation, which had failed to deliver on it’s promises of spiritual fulfillment, the rigid discipline of an “old fashioned religion” might have appealed to hippies looking for something new.

The world evolved and changed, and Roy was not about to let a chance to rebrand slip by. As the 21st century dawned, the excitement of the future, and the promises of new technology represented a deep well of credibility and gravitas that was ripe for exploitation. Enter the Samantha Roy Institute of Science and Technology. Not content with only changing the name of his organization, Rama eventually followed suit with a brand new moniker, this time to Avraham Cohen. Not only does such a change allow for a brand new start, it also tends to help mask ones activities. The name change also reflected the constant flux of his religious doctrine. Followers have described his theology as “confusing” [2] It also signifies his changing ideology, from a mutated form of Christianity to an unrecognizable Judaism.
Their acronym, which is pronounced “cyst”, has much in common with the medical condition. Like a cancerous growth, when left to its own devices, it can become malignant and dangerous, two words that perfectly describes Mr. Cohen.  There is much about the man that is a mystery, but what is known of him, and his actions, indicate the classic signs of a malignant narcissist.

His grueling prayer meetings, which last sometimes up to 8 hours, are exercises in bladder control. He forbids his members from leaving to go to the bathroom, with some people actually soiling themselves as a result. He frequently enforces long fasts, only to break them with inedible or often spoiled food that he forces his members to eat. It is unclear if this type of torture is meant simply for continued control or for his sick pleasure. Neither answer would surprise me.

Before you think that everyone enraptured by this man is a victim, keep in mind that the man in the video was sentenced to prison for sexually abusing his daughter. He claims that he had long lost control of his actions due to Cohen’s domination, with others testifying on his behalf. He pleaded guilty, but maintained his innocence, blaming group pressure for the abuse. No charges, however, involved anyone but him.

“One of the problems we ran into was the statute of limitations,” said Sheriff’s Department Investigator Randall Giese, who was part of that investigation. “And people involved in the group during the time frame that would put it in the statute of limitations won’t talk to us.”

You’ll find there’s a common thread when hearing the stories of victims of cults; usually they are searching for answers. This vulnerability is something very few of them are aware until they meet with someone charismatic that offers a set of beliefs and behaviors that appear, at first, to fulfill their desires. This is the mechanism these predators employ in order to exert their will upon others.

In Roy’s business dealings, he takes over the businesses of his followers, and withholds the funds they receive, presumably to himself alone. His finances are a mystery, but he’s become the most powerful figure in Shawano.

People do not have ideas. Ideas have people. This is the inherent danger of ideology. It seems that certain ideas have a way of overriding our common sense or even our notions of right and wrong. This is what makes religion so dangerous; it claims divine authority over every aspect of life, and its invented ideology often directly conflict with the needs of the individual, and the proper functioning of society. The tragedy is that people still think that religion is essential for the survival of society. And yet by every available metric, societies that have rejected faith have a higher standard of living. The evidence seems clear.

List of abuses and lawsuits against the group
[1] https://culteducation.com/group/1111-rama-behera.html

Woman being tortured with cattle prod for “not listening” to leader
[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItLKMxnCHZ8

The business dealings of the cult
[3] https://archive.jsonline.com/business/followers-put-their-faith-in-his-hands-8k2b55o-133308973.html/

Even Christians think “God’s not Dead” sucks

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By now, I’m sure you’ve all heard about this movie: God’s Not Dead. It’s the story of a bunch of Christians getting suckered out of their money, saving God from a bunch of super meany atheists. Like most of the cheesy crap they throw on film, this particular Christian movie is like a giant cameo of failed careers. Kevin Sorbo plays a hateful atheist teacher who rejects God when his mother dies of cancer when he’s 12, while his equally underemployed pal Dean Cain plays a man so self-absorbed, he dumps his partner when she finds herself diagnosed with cancer (for failing at not dying of cancer).

Now, I won’t go into detail about the film. Dan Fincke already wrote a behemoth article about it, so if you want to know precisely why the film sucks, you can read his review. I was more interested in how other Christians would respond to it.

A blog called “Gospel Spam” recently reviewed it, and despite a few nice things to say, the reviewer basically took a giant crap all over it:

Christian film writing has been notoriously bad since its beginning. Almost every Christian film you’ve ever seen has followed a template: an emotional story line which is a bit unrealistic using gratuitous tear-jerkers to illicit some gratuitous tears with the obligatory tip of the hat gospel presentation worked in not so subtly to make it clear that this is a Christian film because its aim is to evangelize…

When you have good actors and good technical presentation, this is where bad writing just jumps off the screen and spits in your face.

The rest of the review is fine, until the author gets to the part where – despite being somewhat sympathetic to the fact that atheists were mischaracterized in the movie – displays his own severe lack of understanding about what it means not to believe in fairy-tales:

While I do believe that some atheists are atheists because of personal tragedy and many of them are former Christians, atheists are atheists because they love their sin (Romans 1:18). They suppress the truth they already know in unrighteousness…While atheists deny the God they already know exists, they do so because they hate Him and love sin. For a primer on the condition of man, read Romans 3:10-18.

How is this any fucking better than the bullshit in God’s not Dead? It’s the same mischaracterization, the same ‘demonization’ as the crap on celluloid he’s reviewing. Hey buddy, if you’re going to try and come to the defense of non-believers, how about doing a little fucking research outside of the New Testament, dude?

Ray Comfort calls out Neil deGrasse Tyson

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It’s time to sit back, put on your dirty pair of slippers, and listen carefully as ‘renowned scientist’ Dr. Ray Comfort carefully explains why the new “Cosmos” is wrong, and why the Bible is scien-terrific.

I know most of you won’t make it past the first few minutes, and seeing as though everyone on the show is a failed comedian, I dug into it to extract the juicy little nuggets for ya:

“You know, the word ‘science,’ it’s kind of a magical word, I believe in science. It just means knowledge, that’s all it means. There’s different areas of science, different areas of knowledge. When you say the Bible is not a science book, you’re saying it’s not a knowledge book? It tells us how God created the Earth!”

“It gives us the basis for all creation, and it passes the scientific method. It’s observable – Genesis – and testable. Evolution is not. You can’t observe something 60 million years old, but you can observe what Genesis says.”

My head hurts. I guess to old Ray, the word ‘observe’ is understood in a very literal way: seeing with your eyes. If you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist (I wouldn’t try and take that argument too far, Ray)! Now, I know that you can technically ‘see’ a chapter in the Bible called Genesis, but by that logic, a radioactive spider-bite can give someone the ability to dress up in leotards and throw a few cars at bad guys.

Here’s the thing though: Ray is brilliant at marketing. The only reason he did this video was because of the way these topics are trending online (Cosmos, Neil, and the Noah movie). Releasing his own shitty Noah based show the same day as the blockbuster movie is smart. Crazy smart. And his nicely designed pamphlets and fake dollar bills are collectible worthy promotional materials. This is why he’s successful. So, as terrifying as it sounds, we need to learn from this man.

Just nothing about science, for fuck’s sake!

NOTE: I should mention that near the end, Comfort claims that Neil is a believer, simply because he’s never called himself an atheist, and has typically evaded the issue. I know he hates labels, but when you don’t adopt them, people give one to you anyways. Better to be clear then go into the nuances of one’s beliefs, IMO

This is what a stupid comment looks like

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Every so often, someone visits the site and leaves a comment so frustrating and idiotic, I can’t help but re-post it for all to see. The latest pearl of wisdom comes from a commenter named Connor, who thought I was being unfair in my analysis of the highly dangerous ‘imagine your Lyme disease away’ scam called Advanced Cell Training. Here’s what he had to say:

Good Atheist, I would like to start by acknowledging the fact that I cannot prove God’s existence to you, just as much as you cannot disprove his existence to me. So let us refrain from attacking the spiritual position in this process, seeing as neither of us are qualified to have a position.

I love this ‘you can’t disprove the existence of my deity argument’ that religious rubes throw around as though it means something. I can’t disprove the invisible pink unicorn, or Russell’s celestial teapot, but who cares? The burden of proof is always on those making an extraordinary claim. It isn’t my job to go around trying to disprove the countless invented gods whose attributes conveniently lie outside the realm of natural, testable laws.

Readers, please keep bias in mind. This article was written by an atheist. This means that the moment the author discovered prayer was involved in ACT, his personal belief system rejected everything about it. He mentally cannot cope with the possibility of success in ACT because at its core, it goes against his definition of reality. This discredits his article at its core, because it is not solely an attack on ACT. It is also an attack on religion itself. Part of his thinking process is that since it involves prayer, it must be fraud. Because to him, prayer isn’t real. So when you say your [sic] talking to God, he will laugh in your face.

I might ask you to prove you aren’t just talking to yourself before I laugh, although most of the time, the total ignorance on display usually makes me want to cry. How human beings can still cling to Bronze Age myths in light of the greatest scientific revolution in the history of our species is depressing, not hilarious.

It’s not just my ‘reality’ that praying flies in the face of. Every single study in regards to praying has shown it has absolutely no effect. But this sort of proof is likely to fall on deaf ears accustomed to hearing that comforting thoughts have some form of effect on the natural world. It doesn’t. My lack of belief only makes me less gullible.

How can one be so sure about something he’s never tried? I believe you read other people’s blogs, and made your own decision on whether or not this works. That is fair. However, to read other people’s “beliefs” and to regurgitate them as your own while stating it in such a factual manner only reveals your inability to truly understand the process. This discredits you more than you know, making you simply another “blogger with a position on something he’s never tried.”

It’s fairly easy to judge the merit of so-called ‘medical treatments’ by examining their claims, and then testing them using standard methodologies. If ACT practitioners claim praying and performing superstitiously driven activities improved their health, then we can easily do a double blind test to find if the effects are more significant than a simple placebo. These kinds of tests happen all the time with legitimate medical research, and it’s still the best way to determine if something important is actually going on. ‘Trying it’ is about as scientific as ‘shove your finger in this socket and see what happens!’

So friends, I implore you to use this critical thinking that the “good atheist” talks about. Will you try this risk free, to save a life? Or will you sit here reading this blog post on someone else’s personal opinion. Maybe I am just a leader, but i [sic] prefer making my own judgements [sic] off experience rather than what the general populous has to say.

A leader? In terrible thinking perhaps, but there’s nothing in this entire comment that sounds compelling in the slightest. It’s the same trope religious people offer all the time: just try it, and it’ll change your life! All you need to do is surrender any of your actual critical thinking skills and simply embrace the idea that praying, magical thinking, and the giant bearded anthropomorphized deity in the sky aren’t just stupid constructs of your mind, but actually real! Hey, I wonder if this guy is going to end his useless rant with some kind of annoying Bible quote for good measure…

“Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25) Christians, where is your faith?

In the garbage bin of history, I’d wager; just like the rest of the other pathetic excuses for cosmogonies which have come and gone.

Lamest Anti-Gay ad ever

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It’s getting increasingly difficult to find arguments against marriage equality, and as religious groups get more and more desperate, they continue to try to swing everyone’s opinion back to their homophobic camp.

The latest in this disaster porn is a group called Faith2Action, a typical ‘family values’ group that tries to hide their bigotry under the guise of their religion. They have a ton of videos about how the government is trying to make Christianity illegal by not allowing some of these douchebags to continue to discriminate against same-sex attraction for no other reason than “the Bible wants me to”.

I’ll let the video speak for itself: I don’t think I need to make fun of people this ridiculous, do I?

Homeopathic product recalled for having actual medicine

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I know what you’re thinking: this is some kind of hilarious Onion article. Well, it isn’t. This actually happened. A company in Ferndale, Washington is recalling 56 of its products after FDA tests found traces of penicillin in it:

“FDA has determined that these products have the potential to contain penicillin or derivatives of penicillin, which may be produced during the fermentation process,” the agency said.

So, it turns out that Terra-Medica was accidentally making medicine while manufacturing sugar pills. Sure, it was a total freak accident, but it kind of puts their whole industry in perspective. How many other products, that would otherwise be harmless because of the actual content (a statistically negligible amount of X), have dangerous additives inside simply because the industry is completely unregulated? I bet you never thought consuming a bottle of sugar pills could be dangerous, did you?

Here’s hoping the headline alone will make people realize what a deadly scam fake medicine is; especially when they accidentally put real stuff in there!

Who wants to make 10K from this moron?

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Are you a bored scientist looking to spank a few confused creationists for money? Then why not take up this challenge:

Dr. Joseph Mastropaolo, who says he has set up the contest, the Literal Genesis Trial, in the hope of improving the quality of arguments between creationists and evolutionists, has pledged to put $10,000 of his own money into an escrow account before the debate. His competitor would be expected to do the same. The winner would take the $20,000 balance.

The problem with this minitrial, as you might have already surmised by now, is that a ‘judge’ is supposed to weigh the merits of the argument and rule on whether or not evolution is a scientific theory. If the guy has ever taken antibiotics, then it should be a five minute affair. Fossils, modern genetics, geology, and a host of other disciplines have already proven the reality of evolution to the satisfaction of anyone not already married to a fairy-tale cosmogony. What exactly does this moron thinks constitutes proof, anyway? What kind of vigorous research was he engaged in?

Mastropaolo started making public arguments in favor of creationism about 13 years ago, after reading an article about evolution in the newspaper.

We all know what a great job newspapers do when reporting scientific news. Sounds like this guy probably read a poorly written article about something that (inevitably) conflicted with his “magic man done it” explanation of the world, and he became so passionate about it that he decided to devote his time, energy and money trying to disprove gravity evolution.

Mastropaolo believes that evolution cannot be proved scientifically. “It turns out that there is nothing in the universe [that] is evolving, everything is devolving, everything is going in the opposite direction,” he said.

See, even if that were true (which it isn’t), that would be a mechanism of evolution itself, and not proof of the Bible at all. For this clown to be correct, species would have had to ‘appear’ out of thin air, with no ancestral lines. In fact, it’s not just biological evolution you have to look at: even our own solar system went through its own change, from a giant cloud of gas to a complex solar system with 8 planets, countless moons and an as yet unknown amount of planetoids. According to the Bible, this process was also fairly instantaneous, with light appearing 4 days before the Sun. Are we to expect that he would need to prove his fairy tale bullshit in order to win as well? Somehow, I think not.

This gigantic waste of time – designed once again to try and bring attention to infantile ideas about the mechanism of life – isn’t likely to draw much attention from anyone, nor should it. It’s yet another attempt by creationists to pretend like there is something intellectual about the notion that “God did it”. Maybe we should send Kenneth Miller over there to school their asses? Sure, he has his own share of idiotic beliefs (such as quantum indeterminacy being the mechanism with which God gave the first monkey man a ‘soul’), but there’s no denying the fact he’s got enough experience with creationists that he could knock this one out of the park. What do you say Ken? Want to make a quick ten grand?

For the last time, Atheism is not a religion

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Religious people just don’t get it, do they? They think when we talk about the belief in God we are in fact acknowledging ‘his’ existence, and that our own struggle against the brutalizing influence of religion is itself a kind of faith. It’s enough to make your head want to burst. Especially frustrating are these kind of lazy atheist hit pieces; brave articles that refuse to allow a comment section out of fear that the Internet will rip them a new a-hole.

The latest trashy piece of non-writing is entitled Atheism is a religion, too, a kind of ‘rubber-meets-glue’ trope that has been floating around for quite some time, and shows no sign of letting up.

Atheists are, in fact, some of the most religious people. First, they have a functioning God under whom they are subservient (normally it’s science or rationality, but mainly themselves), and that idea of God informs the way they live and interpret their lives. It informs their biases and determines their values, and governs any sense of morality or ethics they adhere too, or ignore.

I find myself wondering what kind of argument would work on such a confused mind. Should I start by trying to understand if this is an insult or a compliment in their eyes? Isn’t faith a good thing, and if so, why do they ‘accuse’ us of faith if they think that shit is awesome? Should I even bother to explain the difference between a belief supported by evidence and one ‘supported’ by the complete lack of it?

Instead of just ignoring God, or the idea of God, atheist preachers feel somehow compelled to rid the Earth of him; so they argue endlessly that theists can’t prove God exists without confessing that they can’t prove he doesn’t either.

You won’t find a serious atheist who doesn’t wish everyone COULD keep their opinions to themselves, especially when it comes to beliefs about the nature of reality; but the truth is that beliefs – as Sam Harris pointed out – do matter. They influence not just how you see the world and others, but how you treat them as well. When you think the vast majority of the world is doomed to hell-fire, it tends to skew your judgement a little. What I still find fascinating/annoying is just how shocked some religionists are when you tell them their objections on homosexuality, reproductive rights, and women’s role in society is destructive, not just offensive. Aren’t I entitled to my own opinion, they ask? Sure, but only if it means I don’t have to live by it. Such a compromise, however, is not in the cards.

It’s also irritating how religious people have never really understood the idea that anyone making an extraordinary claim is required to provide extraordinary evidence for that claim in the first place. Putting the burden of disproving an idea makes no sense: no one is required to disprove trolls, fairies, or unicorns. They can be dismissed outright even though we can never be 100% sure they don’t exist, because no evidence has ever been presented to prove the idea is true to begin with.

For C.S. Lewis, the iconic British scholar, was himself a convert from the religion of the atheism to the religion of Christianity because, as he later said: “atheism turns out to be too simple.”

The famous Christian philosopher Tertullian made a similar claim; that it was precisely the absurdity of Christianity which led him to believe it must be true. This kind of tortured logic and the desperate need to cling to elaborate myth betrays the poor thinking at work here. Atheism may have seemed too simple for Lewis, but it certainly isn’t a valid argument against it. “Water is wet” may be a simple concept, but it doesn’t mean the physical laws involved aren’t insanely elaborate, complex, and at times, maybe a bit weird. As the mathematician Laplace is said to have answered Napoleon when asked why God was not included in his master work “there is no need for such a hypothesis, Sir.” I echo his statement here.

Marco Rubio doesn’t know what a bigot is

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Lying is thirsty work, don’t you know!

The problem with most bigots is they have no idea what being a bigot entails. When you’re spoon-fed a bunch of bullshit lies your entire life that one can ‘respect’ a human being while still denying them the same rights as you, you’re bound to be confused when everyone is constantly pointing out that the things you say and do are unacceptable. Man, that must get annoying, right?

Take dead-on-arrival presidential ‘candidate’ Marco Rubio’s recent statements to the press expressing his own frustration for being called out as the bigoted piece of shit he is:

I respect people who disagree with me on certain things, but that means they have to respect me too. Just because I believe states should have the right to define marriage in a traditional way does not make me a bigot. Just because we believe that life, all human life, all life, all human life is worthy of protection in every stage of its development doesn’t make you a chauvinist. In fact, the people who are actually close minded in American politics are people who love to preach about the certainty of science in regard to our climate, but ignore the absolute fact that life begins at conception.

There’s a lot to unpack in that one statement: his false equivalency of comparing climate science with anti-choice rhetoric notwithstanding, the notion that denying your fellow human beings the same rights as everyone is a pretty clear sign of bigotry. Just as denying women the right to terminate unwanted pregnancy because of your unscientific view of conception does make you a chauvinist, suddenly claiming climate scientists are close minded and pro-lifers are the open-minded bunch (you know, the same asshats who ‘respectfully’ bomb clinics because they think their imaginary friend wants them to) shows you just how profoundly out of touch with reality this man is. Of course, that’s become the Republican narrative as of late, and these people are still confused as to why the American public is rapidly abandoning them. You know, there was a time when Republicans used to listen to facts, before they started to get too unpleasant…

Rubio can try to use double-speak to his heart’s content: it doesn’t really matter. Just like being over-saturated with ads has made most Americans immune to their influence, the same inoculation is happening against this sort of language tricks. People are becoming tired of the same reality-denying narrative that out of touch, rich white men (and their occasional exotic pets) are trying to shove down our throats. We’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore.

New Pope elected and surprise, he’s a bigot

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After the first day of indecision, an old, antiquated bunch of clowns dressed in silly costumes finally elected their new infallible leader: Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina. His new name, Francis the First, is in honor of St. Francis of Assisi, the guy who renounced wealth in order to feel more connected to the poor. Now you might think it’s a little ironic that a man sitting on 50 billion dollars and eating on gold plates should give himself such a name, but to be fair, Assisi did start out rich, so I’m sure this ‘humble’ servant of God will too, right?

Unsurprisingly, Cardinal Bergoglio is the kind of Pope you would expect a group of repressed, self-hating homosexuals to elect: despite his statements that gays should be treated with respect, he nevertheless is of the opinion that adoption by gay parents is child abuse. This kind of indefatigable respect notwithstanding, it was a brilliant move by the church to finally elect someone who comes from a country where people actually give a shit about Catholicism, and the Pope in general. Survey after survey in industrialized nations have shown no modern Catholic actually gives a flying fuck what the Pope says, since like every other religious believer, they simply pick and choose which parts of the Bible they like and want to follow.

As for the rest, we just need to wait a little longer until some other fucking scandal breaks and more insane news comes out, say, like the church owning one of Europe’s most prominent (and I’m assuming steamiest) bathhouses.

Kansas City atheists barred St. Patrick’s Day Parade

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Normally when you think of St. Patrick’s Day, images of green beer, girls in t-shirts that say “kiss me, I’m Irish”, and drunken revelers usually pop into your head. Over the decades since we’ve been ‘observing’ these liver destroying traditions, the religious elements of the holiday have generally fallen to the wayside, replaced instead with a party to celebrate the fact that Irish people exist. Hey, I’m part Irish, so I totally approve!

What I don’t approve of, however, is this recent story: an atheist group in Kansas City has been denied permission to participate in the parade for the simple reason that they aren’t religious. Here’s the statement they released to the press:

Kansas City’s parade celebrates the Feast Day of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, and the Christian teachings and beliefs that he lived and suffered for. The Atheist Coalition’s published mission is to advance godlessness through activism, and its stated intent regarding the 2013 parade was to carry banners with phrases such as “positively godless” and “morals without mythology.” It was with respect for the legacy of St. Patrick that the parade committee turned down the Atheist Coalition’s application to participate in this year’s procession. “

Is this the new excuse to prevent us from participating in public activities? Out of ‘respect’ for dead saints that have almost nothing to do with the modern, secular version of the holiday? If they somehow have a problem with the fact that St. Patrick was a Christian, why are those Christ-killing Jews allowed to come? I would think St. Patrick would have a pretty big problem with those guys. And what about Protestants? Do they count? Should Italians not be allowed in the parade because ancient Romans enslaved the poor guy?

So, despite assurances from organizers that this isn’t a state sponsored religious event, they seem intent on not allowing any ‘godless’ messages to be seen or heard, and that should tell you all you need to know about whether or not it is a religious celebration to these people.

Here’s hoping the kind of national attention they receive teaches them a lesson about messing with atheists. We own the Internet, bitches!

Another stupid Ark being built, this time in Texas

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They say everything is bigger in Texas: this probably also applies to the insanity of the populace there. How else can you explain this church deciding to build their own version of Noah’s Ark at the cost of a cool 5 million bucks?

You might recall that there’s a similar project out of Florida that’s been trying to get funding from Kickstarter. After almost a month, they’ve managed to snag an impressive $520 through 21 backers, which means to accomplish their financial goals, they only need to make about $37,000 a day for the next 40 days. Looks like someone could sure use a miracle!

The obvious popularity of such a project notwithstanding, the Cornerstone Church in San Antonio – the group responsible for this monument to ignorance – is inviting the public to see just how gullible human beings can be. For those parishioners who perhaps felt like their hard-earned money could have been spent doing something useful, here’s a soundbite that’s sure to ease their fears:

If casinos can build opulent buildings to incentivize gamblers to want to come and enjoy their weekend, how then can you justify not building something that would incentivize people to come and hear about the Word of God?” Hagee said. “I don’t have any problem with somebody saying it’s over the top.”

He’s right: there’s nothing I love more than watching ridiculous human beings waste their money on expensive, useless religious propaganda. Who are they trying to impress with this monstrosity anyway? Other Christians who already buy into this bullshit? Certainly it isn’t anyone with half a brain, or with a working knowledge of biological science.

Here’s hoping that the cost of running this thing becomes a boondoggle that ends up bankrupting their dumb asses.

Office of Religious Freedom: non-believers don’t matter

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As much as we Canadians make fun of Americans (yes, I am a Canuck, people), the truth is that our own country isn’t really that much better when it comes to religious interference in government. With the Conservative party in power, it seems as though they are intent on copying the American model: in other words, they wish to turn this country into a mini-sectarian state in order to please their highly religious base. They’ve tried (rather unsuccessfully I might add) to re-open the abortion debate, until most Canadians flipped out and it was quietly dropped.

Still, it doesn’t mean the government is done trying to spend our valuable tax dollars spinning their wheels for the sake of religion. Enter the newly created “Office of Religious Freedom”, a kind of Orwellian sounding institution with a mandate so foggy, no one is actually sure what the fuck it’s actually supposed to do. Everyone seems to agree, however, that atheists are not invited to the freedom party:

A particularly bizarre media preoccupation was what the ORF would do for atheists. It is an interesting intellectual exercise — like how the minister of sport might serve the aggressively sedentary — but rather beside the point when actual mosques are bombed, or when Christians have to hold midnight Mass in the daytime where it is too dangerous to go to Mass after dark. People are being killed for their faith, Canada’s government is sounding the alarm, and the national media is preoccupied with questions only relevant in the highly secular circles that consider religious liberty akin to the freedom to choose one hobby over another.

In other words, he says if you aren’t into God, you can’t be part of his little reindeer games. Never mind that there are at least 7 countries in the world where being an atheist is a crime punishable by death: Mosques are being bombed, so obviously, non-believers don’t matter! It’s this kind of false dichotomy that makes my blood boil. It’s not as though any non-believers are denying the fact sectarian conflicts occur. In fact, we anticipate they will, given that religions are inherently incompatible with one another and tend to violently disagree about which imaginary friend is the real one.

There’s a pretty strange irony here, to say the least. While the ORF claims its aims are to help protect people who are being persecuted for their religious beliefs, no one seems to be motioning the fact that the persecution is being done primarily by OTHER BELIEVERS! It’s kind of an important point when the purpose of your organization is apparently so focused on religion. Hey, you know what helps people have their own beliefs? Not having the fucking state promoting one particular faith over another!

Religion is playing an increasingly important role in foreign affairs, and the defense of religious liberty will be a critical means for Canada to promote both pluralism and democracy abroad.

Even if that statement were true (which it isn’t), that’s not encouraging. Religion and politics are a dangerous mix, which is why we tend to push so hard to have them separated at all costs. You’ll notice countries where this has occurred have happier, safer citizens than in countries with state sanctioned religions.

Congratulations, Conservative Government, on showing us again why you’re so poorly suited to run this country. Now, if only we could convince all the old farts in this country to stop voting for these assholes, then we’d finally get somewhere.

How to annoy your coworkers, Jesus style

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You know what I love? I love it when I’m at the office, and someone vaguely familiar with their religion decides that it’s their duty to try and convert me to whatever bullshit they believe in at the time. Yes, there’s nothing in this world I love more than watching these people squirm when you start asking them questions their priest never really prepared them for. What’s the deal with Jesus and his intense racism? Why did he say he would return before his followers died, only to be a literal no show for over 2000 years?

Of course, most Christians have never met a guy like me. They’re convinced the message of Jesus is so good, that all you need to do is show up with a smile, a Bible, and a friendly “let me tell you about my pal Jesus” and presto, instant Christian.

How else can you explain this rather trite bit of advice on how to witness to coworkers, courtesy of Focus on the Family. The problem is, the act of proselytizing in the age of information is not an easy task. You see, the Internet is filled with annoying things like facts which tend to contradict fairy tales made up by ancient desert nomads.

Let’s examine just how helpful their advice really is, shall we?

1. Believe that God wants to save your co-workers.

In other words, convince yourself that your meddling in other people’s lives is something your imaginary friend wants, no matter how annoyed and angry they might be.

2. Be a good employee.

Does that count not spreading your nonsense bullshit to coworkers who know a lot more about your own stupid religion than you do? Usually, good workers don’t invite conflict by bringing religion in the fucking workplace, but I digress.

3. Think like a missionary.

In other words, be relentless about your message. Even if you’re on vacation, at work, hanging out with friends. Hell, you should even witness to someone peeing next to you in the urinal, because there’s nowhere Christ doesn’t want you to be pimping his totalitarian message, regardless of the general hostility towards it.

4. Fill in the gaps.

That means witnessing to people during what little time they have to take a break and relax from having to listen to annoying people talking to them all day long about shit they don’t really care about.

5. Put the Gospel to work for you.

Do you wonder why you don’t share the Gospel more than you already do? If every word out of your mouth isn’t serving Jesus, what fucking good are you?

6. Don’t forget to actually share the Gospel.

Yeah, don’t forget to read only the parts that you think they will enjoy, like this one from the Gospel of John:

“He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.”

Who isn’t going to listen to a positive, loving message like that, right?

7. Trust God with the results.

You might get a little discouraged as you continue to alienate your coworkers, but fear not, for you must trust, without any evidence whatsoever, that what you are doing is for their benefit. After all, some guy told you that same shit a long time ago before you really knew any better. These people may not have had the chance to have their minds properly shackled to whatever limited ideology you espouse. Poor them!

That’s it folks; all you need to know to spread ignorance, fear, and submission to authority is contained right there. So, what are you supposed to do when someone throws an uncomfortable fact in your face, like the lack of consistency in the Gospels, the provincialism of their supposedly all powerful deity, or even the fact that their God couldn’t even fucking read or write? Trust that the problem lies with you, and not the fact that a bunch of ignorant sheep fuckers felt it was their divine right to slaughter the indigenous people of ancient Palestine. But hey, the stories make you feel all fuzzy and warm inside, so they must be true, right?