The Dali Lama is Disgusting

What do the words of a child abuser mean to you? How about when that person is a religious leader of an entire faith? Last February, the Dali Lama (aka Tenzin Gyatso) was caught kissing a young Indian boy on the mouth, and asking him to “suck his tongue”. His spokespeople were quick to try and dismiss the act as something quite innocent:

“His holiness often teases people he meets in an innocent and playful way, even in public and before cameras. He regrets the incident.”

Yes, I love it when I’m teased by a sexually repressed human being that has the least healthy relationship with sex of any class of person. We can only guess as to what this man does when the cameras aren’t around. If you still think that this cult leader is anything more than a disguised abuser, then I don’t know what to tell you.

Buddhists are confused about everything

A fan of the site sent me this Buddhist exchange that I had to say something about:

Curious Buddhist:

I have an odd question which was raised by a friend, who was asking me questions about Buddhism. They wanted to know how Buddhism deals with the concept of evolution? Are Buddhists creationists? Our teachings don’t seem to deal with such matters and I was rather at a loss as to how to answer them.

Lama Shenpen:

I suppose one would have to say Buddhists are evolutionists in the sense that they do not think God created everything in seven days.

That’s not really a good start. Creationists don’t all believe in that exact nonsense. Some are far more sophisticated in their stupidity.

The Buddhist view is that everything emanates from the Primordial expanse of Openness Clarity Sensitivity and is illusion-like, never really coming into existence but the illusion is created by infinite intricate connections that are not anywhere and not in time.

Wow, the bullshit train is riding hard right now. Am I to believe that the Universe is an expanse of Sensitivity? I would argue that stars exploding in massive gamma ray bursts might not be entirely too sensitive to the feelings of nearby planets.

Time and space are part of the illusion that is emanating from that Primordial expanse – so it’s all very mysterious. From the Buddhist perspective there is no problem with life on earth having evolved somehow – but evolution is not in itself a full story or full account of life on earth – it leaves quite basic questions left unanswered.

Yes, evolution leaves tons of unanswered questions for Buddhists, such as “how did the first human exist if we’re all reincarnated”, and “how can human beings be so fucking gullible”?

In a way one might want to argue Buddhism is closer to creationism because our world is created by awareness – the awareness of the beings that inhabit it – evolution only gives a kind of history of how that illusion unfolds.

They love their whole “illusion” angle, don’t they. It’s a great way to avoid having to explain anything concrete about your stupid belief system. Hey, how do protons and electrons work? It’s all an elaborate illusion, so don’t bother trying to find out!

Buddhist do indeed share much in common with creationists: for starters, they have no desire to discover the natural world, and rely on tradition and superstition to tell them about the Universe. While they smugly assert that all the Cosmos is Maya (or illusion), this impossible to disprove condition is just another example of the nonsense of religion. If they had their way, scientific progress would end as we know it, in favor of mumbling some shitty prayers and believing that justice is handed out by an invisible force.

Isn’t religion great?

All religions are dumb

Do you sometimes feel like Western religions have a monopoly on idiocy? Well, the good news is all beliefs based on superstition are equally dumb. Buddhist monks in China are currently undertaking a 500-mile pilgrimage that will have them crawling on their knees in prostration to whatever make-believe deity they’ve somehow managed to worship.

“They will crawl and then every third step they will stop and bow as a sign of respect to the goddess”

Here’s a better idea that won’t end up fucking your knees up forever: enjoy the wonders of modern science and take a goddamn chartered bus instead. You’ll get to enjoy the brilliant Chinese countryside without bleeding from your legs!

Thailand Busts Buddhist Monk child sex ring

If you’re a pedophile on the prowl, you’ll find no better haven for your sick and twisted desires than Thailand, where abject poverty and corrupt police allow foreign pederasts to take advantage of abandoned children. The latest scandal involves Buddhist monks who would lure young boys to their lair where his partner would farm them out to sex tourists. The group has been arrested, but this is only one bit of good news in a country that struggles to properly deal with child sex trafficking.

Thailand is trying to take a hard stance against the sexual trafficking of minors, offering up chemical castration and even the death penalty for repeated offenders. Still, the fact that people in places of high authority abuse their positions makes this kind of crime hard to fight; Buddhist monks are among the most trusted members of society, and you have to wonder how many more are using that trust to further the abuse of little children. Congratulations religion for proving once again you have no special monopoly on morality.

Brit Hume is a dick

I guess to some Christians, believing in God is a bit like bargaining for a used car; you want to make sure you’re getting a good deal. Brit Hume, a FOX News regular, seems to think Buddhism offers too little in the way of redemption, and that Tiger Woods needs to convert to Christianity to feel better. It’s this kind of “wheeling and dealing” that I can’t fucking stand about this religion; it’s also why it’s a very popular choice for mobsters, criminals, and other moral deviants who are attracted to the “redemption no matter what terrible shit you’ve done” aspect of the faith. Jesus is the perfect “get out of jail free” card to people who most definitely don’t deserve it.

What Tiger needs to do is lay low and wait until some other celebrity makes an ass out of themselves.

Buddhist lose “reincarnated” boy to real world

When Osel Hita Torres was only 14 months old, his parents took him to see the Dalai Lama, who decreed the boy was the reincarnation of one of their cherished spiritual leaders. He then spent the next 18 years in almost complete isolation, never watching television, and never interacting with other children. The only movie he was allowed to watch was The Golden Child, a shitty Eddie Murphy vehicle about a magical child lama who gets kidnapped. How hilarious is that?

He has since turned his back on the order, and moved to Madrid to study film. He isn’t too happy about how the monks robbed him of his childhood either, saying he suffered a great deal at their hands. If you think monks are just a group of peaceful dudes, you may be surprised to find out Tibet was not exactly paradise under their rule. Native Tibetans were essentially a slave class ruled by a powerful priest order. I’m not saying the Chinese did anyone any favors by invading them, but let’s stop buying into the Dalai Lama’s bullshit story of how the land was a peaceful mecca before; their population was malnourished, undereducated, and enslaved. Sounds swell, doesn’t it?