Tag Archives: catholics

Every time you don’t recycle, baby Jesus cries

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Ok, well, maybe baby Jesus doesn’t cry, but that hasn’t stopped the Vatican from including failure to recycle as one of the new deadly sins.

In case you were unaware of what a deadly sin is, it’s a ticket straight to hell for eternity (remember the sins of envy, gluttony, and greed? They’re still there, but there have been some additions) . So, if you threw out your soda can in the garbage rather than the recycle bin, you might be bunkmates with Hitler.

If you need further proof that the Vatican is insane, consider the fact that it isn’t a deadly sin to forbid AIDS-ridden Africans from putting a small rubber sheath on their penis. It also wasn’t a sin, until recently it seems, to molest little boys, although technically, it still isn’t a deadly sin to cover it up.

The hypocrisy of the Catholic Church isn’t a surprise to anyone, especially me. I experienced it firsthand in my small French-Canadian hometown, when at funerals the priest would sing hymns about our greed and selfishness, all the while passing around the collection plate and enjoying his swanky well decorated house. But this latest effort to force people to recycle or face eternal punishment demonstrates just how twisted their view of humanity is. Do I need the threat of Hell to make me care about the environment? No. I do it because the Earth is my home, and unlike my religious, Armageddon wishing neighbor, I don’t expect Jesus to come down from the clouds and fix all my problems.

I’d like to revise the new deadly sins and add my own. Here’s my list:

1. It is a deadly sin to scare people into complacency
2. It is a deadly sin to lie to people about the origins of the Universe, and to suppress information and findings that give us a greater understanding of the Cosmos.
3. It is a deadly sin to allow your narrow religious views to interfere with the well being of others. It is also a sin to make people believe that if they don’t think the way they do, they will burn in a lake of fire forever.

Catholics are strange

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Catholics have always had a strange obsession with their beloved saints. In my own city, the mummified heart of St. Joseph hangs quietly in a corner. It’s usually ignored by tourists who consider it far too macabre to be photographed. This recent stunt in Italy, however, breaks the standard conventions of good taste as the decayed body of St. Padre Pio of Pietreclina is being exhumed and displayed to the general public.

For those of you not in the know, St. Padre Pio was famous back in the day for his reoccurring stigmata; the supposed appearance of wounds similar to those Jesus received while hung up on the cross. It’s a fairly easy scam to perpetuate, especially when your adoring public is more than willing to buy into it.

We’ll ignore the whole stigmata thing for now (I plan on doing a podcast about the subject eventually anyways), and focus on the fact people are actually interested in seeing the half decayed corpse of a man that died over 40 years ago. Here’s an amusing quote that should turn your stomachs:

“Nevertheless, in spite of all of this [the corpse being deemed to be in good condition], we can say that the upper portion, we refer to the face, is partially skeletal, as well as the upper limbs. Though the rest is very visible, the hands are very clear. The technicians have said that a sort of auto-mummification process has begun in some parts of the body.

Wow, and some misguided fools think Disneyland is the place for a good vacation. Where can I sign up to see the half eaten corpse? If it’s any consolation to you die hard skeptics, it seems the body failed to show any signs of stigmata. Hard for something that was never there in the first place to be found, isn’t it?