I’ll never grow tired of old, conservative gas-bags going on about how atheism is either dead, on it’s way out, or, as this crusty old white dude said, “a joke”. Because he’s convinced only an invisible male patriarchal God is the proper explanation as to the existence of the Universe, columnist William Murchison believes the recent remarks of Stephen Hawking, claiming the Universe did not need a supernatural origin, displays a kind of cosmic ignorance. Yes, a Christian dogmatist is calling Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest scientific minds of the last century, a dolt.

Who is likely to grow mute in the face of a bald claim that the universe more or less invented itself? Was Hawking there with his camera? That would be the first question. Soon other questions would follow. The vast variety of life — that was spontaneous, too? The human organism — the brain, the eye, the ear, the digestive tract — just sort of, you know, happened? The sky, the seas, the seasons, not to mention human reproduction–those things just happened too? And the greatest minds of history failed to catch on, century after God-fearing century? That, or they practiced denial? Uhhhh … yeah.

So this idiot’s first question to Hawking would be, “dude, did you have a camera with you?” Yeah, sounds like an insanely brilliant question. Can the same burden of proof be placed in the hands of Christians who claim Jesus resurrected and was born of a virgin? I guess before the invention of the video camera, we couldn’t actually know anything.

As for the rest of his dimwitted statements, is he trying to suggest  scientists are somehow in “denial” about the case for God? Our species wasn’t in denial regarding our understanding of the natural world; we were, unsurprisingly, simply ignorant and lacked the proper tools to unravel the mysteries of the Cosmos. That tool is science itself, and this marvelous methodology has spoken volumes on the evidence of the age of the Universe, the nature and history of life, and the evolution of things like eyes, ears, brains and digestive tracts. Denial is now a recent phenomenon as human beings, who should know better, still cling to the fanciful and infantile claims of religion. What’s your explanation, moron — that some bearded entity made it all appear in 6 days?

Wait, he’s just getting warmed up:

Many of them are technically intelligent, Hawking is routinely labeled “brilliant”, but they swallow with satisfied smiles the intellectual bilge called atheism.

Well, glad at least we measure high on this guy’s scale of “technically intelligent”. Perhaps if he actually bothered to research exactly WHY Hawking is considered brilliant, he might not be so self-satisfied with his own obviously dwindled mental capacities. Now, I know I might be accused of name calling, but it’s only a consequence of this guy’s incessant need to remind his readers we’re a bunch of unpleasant a-holes. He even throws in Robert Ingersol for good measure, suggesting this man was an unpleasant jerk. Take 5 minutes to educate yourself on this guy and you’ll quickly realize he was precisely the opposite of this. Of course we would all seem like a bunch of annoying douche-bags to him; we’re attempting to show the world what utter superstitious nonsense religion really is. Did you expect in the process a bunch of grumpy old white dudes wouldn’t get a little upset?

The one thing that continually grates me is how casually authors like William Murchison and his ilk do their best to besmirch us. They seem to be unaware that if their speeches were slightly altered, and the word “atheist” was replaced with any other minority, there wouldn’t be one single respectable media outlet that would allow them the opportunity to spew such ludicrous vitriol. Imagine for a moment if this same article had said “I imagine there have been, here and there, pleasant JEWS. If so, one rarely runs across them”. Then again, that does sound like something a Christian would have said a few decades ago, doesn’t it?

In possibly one of the most ironic cases of life imitating art ever, Christians are now saying because Mohammad can’t be made fun of on Comedy Central, Jesus should be off limits too.

A coalition of religious and conservative leaders is trying to stop a proposed Comedy Central cartoon that puts Jesus Christ in a modern-day context – before it even gets started.

The newly formed Citizens Against Religious Bigotry said Thursday that it believes the “JC” series would be offensive. They accuse Comedy Central of a double standard in mocking Christian figures and beliefs while recently refusing to let “South Park” depict the Prophet Muhammad for fear of offending Muslims.

“You don’t have to be a Christian to be offended by this,” said Brent Bozell, head of the watchdog Media Research Center.

Yeah, you really do. Newsflash, retards: every day, people are doing stuff you may not approve of or personally agree with. But they’re still allowed to do it because we live in a free society. Here’s a novel concept for you douchebags: if you don’t like a TV show, then don’t fucking watch it.

I feel sorry for Ted Haggard. After being exposed as a crystal meth smokin’ closeted homo, the church he helped build forced him out of the state, and totally disowned him. With his friends and support network having abandoned him, he’s spent the last few years trying to figure out what to do with his life. Turns out being a preacher doesn’t give you a lot of marketable skills, so he’s gone back to his bread and butter, opening a small church in his home he calls “St. James” (a nod to a Book of James passage that says “faith without works is dead”).

Rather than accept the fact he’s hungry for rock hard man cock, he’s come back to the religious fold to continue preaching a gospel that quite clearly states that these feelings are an abomination. It reminds me how people can often create their own private kind of Hell by refusing to accept reality. If Haggard is deluded enough to think this is the life he wants, he’s forgotten his constant craving for man-sausage will cause him an unbelievable amount of internal conflict and pain.

Why don’t you stop living a fucking lie and just succumb to your biological urge to have sex with other men? There’s really nothing wrong with it; the only reason you feel this way is because of a primitive book that was written long ago by a bunch of primitive, ignorant sheep fuckers who thought the earth was flat and diseases were caused by demons. Do you really want to base your life on their bullshit “insights”?