Creationist Alert!

It’s only been a few days since it’s been up, but already the forums* are lighting up like the fourth of July. One topic that immediately caught my eye came courtesy of user DexM felt too important not to promote:

The Christian club at my high school has invited creationist Bill Morgan from http://www.fishdontwalk.com/ to speak at one of their meetings. Needless to say I’m organizing a rapid response team to kick his ass with words – including trying to get one of my school’s biology teachers in on the action – but I really have no idea on how to go about doing it. There’s no shortage of atheists and skeptics on campus but getting them organized well enough to go toe-to-toe with a seasoned creationist debater is pretty dangerous. Any thoughts or advice?

Taking on a creationist, eh? I like your moxie, kid. Just understand that debating creationists can be a tricky business. Many intelligent individuals have been caught totally off guard in these kinds of debates, and looked foolish as a result. Academics are often unprepared for the kinds of tactics creationists employ to try and win arguments. One of these include what I like to call “The Seed of Doubt”. This strategy usually involves undermining some scientific theory they poorly understand. By focusing on some tiny minutia of a theory that isn’t very well understood, they try to convince the audience that “science doesn’t really know what it’s talking about”. Rather than attempt to construct an argument based on evidence of their own, creationists instead try to exploit uncertainty, masquerading their obvious disdain for scientific discovery as skepticism. And because science invites this process on itself, we must be honest when admitting that there are many unknowns and a great deal of uncertainty when it comes to human knowledge. These are not concepts a religiously minded person like Bill Morgan is willing to accept.

A a quick glance at Bill’s website, hilariously named “Fish don’t Walk” (a quick youtube search easily destroys that false statement) reveals that the guy doesn’t seem to have any real clue as to how evolution actually works. Here he is explaining the supposed difficulty of sexual reproduction in nature:

if the theory of evolution is true, the male and female would have to evolve their reproductive systems at the same TIME. Imagine the female is fully evolved, but the male is not. Does she start hen pecking him by telling him “hurry up and evolve, we are going to be dead in a few years?”…Creationists believe in “instant chickens.” Creationists believe a Creator with a lot of power and intelligence instantly made males and females at the same time, and put them at the same place.

As you can see, he’s got a rather weak grasp on the sexual theory. He’s apparently completely unaware that sex is a relatively recent “invention” in the history of life. So his “bombshells” are really just indicative of poor education on his part, most likely the result of his religious upbringing (surprised?). Remember, Bill’s “dude with a lot of power and smarts” explains everything he doesn’t understand, and that seems to encompass quite a bit.

My prediction is that if he’s shown his ignorance on the matter, he will turn to the remaining scientific mysteries that we haven’t yet solved as a final means of sowing doubt in scientific theories. I wouldn’t attempt to try and explain these. I would merely point out that he’s creating a false dichotomy; he’s attempting to reason that because we don’t know the answer to A, B must be true.

Time is not a scientific explanation, it is blind faith. I call it “the magic wand of time” When I ask an Evolutionist “how did birds evolve from reptiles?” I imagine them waving a magic wand as they say “It took millions of years!”
Believe whatever you want to on Creation vs. Evolution, but base your belief on observation (Science) not blind faith (time).

Translation: I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, so God did it

Finally I would end by trying to make it clear what degree of acceptance in any given theory is acceptable. It should be contingent on how much evidence each one relies on. The more lines of evidence which converge, the more likely it is to be true. Genetics, geology, paleontology and a host of other sciences are all consistent with Evolution. The important thing for people to remember is that science is a set of tools we use to decode the laws of nature. It allows us to construct models to help explain how objective reality behaves. Creationism is merely poor rhetoric meant to substantiate baseless supernatural claims. It has no predictive powers, and any statements it does make about nature contradict all the observations we’ve already made. If this clown is trying to argue that he’s only trying to “make people decide for themselves” what is true and what isn’t, then I would instruct him to continue to educate himself: he’s obviously not done.

(Update: The forums no longer exist)

Who was Cain’s Wife?

Although he’s one of the most infamous characters in fiction, Cain is still a relatively obscure figure. The Bible seems to make him out as a whiner, jealous and petty, so unworthy of any love that he’s blamed for making crops so damn hard to grow. Once he’s given the infamous “mark” for having committed the first murder, he’s told that he will become a nomad, and like any bad-boy, he does exactly the opposite and settles down in the land of Nod (which is about as real a place as that sounds).

The story doesn’t technically end there, depending on who you ask. There are tons of stories outside the bible that attempt to describe Cain and Abel’s relationship in more detail. This kind of material is called pseudepigrapha, texts which are regarded as false or unverifiable works. It’s basically the first century equivalent of fan-fiction. One of these books is called The Book of Jubilees, sometimes referred to as “Lesser Genesis”. It further elaborates on the sexual relationships between Cain and his sister Awan, and between Seth and his sister Azura. It sounds as enjoyable to read as the many erotic adventures of Kirk and Spock

The story of Cain doesn’t end there. Mormons believe that he made a secret pact with the devil to kill Abel. In the Book of Moses, they form a secret alliance, which helps explain why Genesis specifically mentions Cain’s son Lamech murdering one of his enemies (I just think the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree).

Regardless of which particular fairy tale you subscribe to (if you tend to favor this nonsense), Cain’s limited choice of mating partners isn’t a subject most people are comfortable talking about. Incest has largely fallen out of favor, and defending this particular aspect of the dogma is a thankless job. Luckily, Answers in Genesis is always happy to fight the good fight, and they aren’t afraid to try and inject some science in there!

Now it is true that children produced in a union between brother and sister have a greater chance to be deformed. As a matter of fact, the closer the couple are in relationship, the more likely it is that any offspring will be deformed. It is very easy to understand this without going into all the technical details.

Yeah, it’s a good thing they try to avoid the “technical details”, since a gene pool consisting of only two organisms is on the fast track to Extinction-Ville (with a stop-over at Mongoloid-Bay). Don’t let that bother you too much though, since you can always claim some magical mumbo-jumbo helped.

Speaking of mumbo-jumbo, you might like they way they try and explain how these first humans survived the first onslaught of genetic catastrophe: It’s all about sin, you see:

When the first two people were created, they were perfect. Everything God made was “very good” (Genesis 1:31). That means their genes were perfect—no mistakes. But when sin entered the world because of Adam (Genesis 3:6), God cursed the world so that the perfect creation then began to degenerate, that is, suffer death and decay (Romans 8:22). Over a long period of time, this degeneration would have resulted in all sorts of mistakes occurring in the genetic material of living things.

By long they mean around 2,500 years (or about 125 generations), a tiny blip in evolutionary time for such a complex species. Still, you have to admire their attempt to try and maintain their idiotic beliefs in the light of modern genetic evidence. They are sticking with their incest guns, and they are proud of it. “Hell yes, Cain fucked his sister! Didn’t you know that was the thing to do at the time?”

As for all this business about sin being a mechanism of evolutionary pressure, it sounds like a testable theory to me. Under this model of genetic, the more you sin, the crappier your genes. Hey, I wonder what kind of fucked up experimental conditions you would need to test this moronic idea out. I’m laughing just thinking about ’em.

This guy is hilarious

Every once in a while an old article will spring back to life whenever a religious weirdo randomly lands on a page that sends him or her into a wild, nonsensical tirade that gives you but a glimpse into their “unique” minds. Take some choice passages from “Johnathan” who wants to make sure we don’t burn in hell:

Perhaps you should put a nail down, and watch it miraculously spring to life and start “evolving” lol and you claim we’re ignorant?

Not anymore with that kind of logic, I can promise you that!

Little do you know that Satan is firmly steering you.
You so blind you don’t even realize the you have the mark of the beast on you, do you ?

The tattoo dude promised me no one would know about that smurf on my butt cheek… Does this have anything to do with Satan being in the mix?

You know why you atheists don’t believe their is a God? It’s because you haven’t experienced salvation yet. You NEED to be born in spirit to understand things of the spirit.

I agree: a confusing experience really is the only way to gain knowledge about objective reality.

Perhaps you’re not aware that they’ve found remains of the Ark, when the great flood took place? How about the chariots when God destroyed in the dead sea?

That might be because I don’t get my scientific information from a pamphlet.

You are alive but as dead as a door nail. So lost, and it’s sad. Satan was too an accuser of those in heaven just like you lot are.

I think I sound pretty lively for a dude who’s as dead as a door nail.

You have all the fruits the bible states Satan has yet you’re too ignorant to see it. Do you know that the majority of “Christians” have got it wrong today ?

Yeah, I’m aware. Christians can’t stop telling everyone else that other Christians also have it wrong. You all pretend to like each other for our benefit, but we know you secretly loath each other, and we find that hilarious.

The bible teaches us of predestination. And PRAISE GOD Hallelujah that he saved his sheep…Do you know that I’m sent of God ? Do you know that every single one who is TRULY REBORN in JESUS is SENT of Christ ?

I did not know that, although I do have a pretty good idea about where you should be sent next, dude.

Have you ever wondered why you scoff and mock the saints? Hello? What do you get out of it?

Do I wonder why I make fun of guys who dress up in silly costumes, put on pointless rituals and talk to their imaginary friend? Not really something that keeps me up at night…

You see, it’s because you’re still under the authority of your father Satan, who was a liar from the beginning and the father of all lies and deception.

You’ll notice this guy likes to use the word “father” a lot. I have a dad and that’s enough for me, thanks. If you didn’t have one of your own, I might suggest not trying to overcompensate for it.

We that God chose before the foundation of the world, are sent to testify of the mighty and glorious salvation of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, and to testify that the works of the world are evil.

Translation: we’re here to shit on everyone’s good time. Got it.

Are you one of the lost sheep? Call to Jesus! Today is the day of salvation , tomorrow could be too LATE! Some of you say “maybe there is a God”

Are you confused about reality? Are you vulnerable to stupid ideas that have no basis in hard fact? Then grab your phone and give us a call! Operators are standing by, and if you call now, we’ll throw in a lifetime supply of guilt and shame, absolutely free!

Let’s so for yourselves I was wrong, I die and that’s it. But if you’re wrong? God banishes you the eternal fire FOREVER! Where you’ll beg! And plead! And cry for mercy but your soul dear friend WILL be cast into the fire ! You won’t come out there ever! God will no longer have mercy on you because you denied the only begotten Son of God, who died for the lost sheep willingly, and was risen back to life and thus overcame and killed sin out our lives! Amen!

With a God this sadistic and cruel, you need an excessive amount of exclamation marks to make your point!

The bible is not religion, it’s FACT, it’s a history book that accounts for all things, the past, the present and the FUTURE! To things currently taking place today, it’s all in the bible.

I guess with that kind of attitude, you’re pretty much guaranteed never to expand your mind beyond the tiny horizon of faith, aren’t you Johnny? Well, it’s too bad. Who needs to be educated when this book predicts that the world is going to end in a sea of blood? Better to buy a gun and wait for the army of Satan to attack, am I right?

So close, yet so far away

I do like the effort by this priest to ridicule creationism in the light of modern science. But while he ridicules these beliefs, he seems completely oblivious to the stupidity of his own dogma. Hey pal, there are some people who believe that a 2000 year old failed Jewish carpenter is actually a God too, and the rest of us think that’s just stupid. We’re glad that you exposed the utter inanity of creationism, but I can see by that collar on your neck that you still have a lot to learn about objective reality (not to mention the fun stuff you haven’t done yet, like shagging).

The Good Atheist Podcast: EP 212

This week, Ryan joins me as we discuss plans for a new creation museum in Idaho, Oprah as the whore of Babylon, and why I can’t stand crybaby kids.

The Good Atheist
The Good Atheist Podcast: EP 212
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Idaho creationists want their own monument to ignorance

Hey Idaho, were you feeling left out of this whole evolution-creation “debate”? Are you tired of scientists telling you that the earth is 4.5 billion years old instead of only 6000? Well, then you should donate every spare dollar you have to the Northwest Science Museum. Although they have yet to even raise enough money for their pathetic displays, it certainly hasn’t affected their enthusiasm for this project. They want people to donate land, time, resources, anything to make their dream of making Americans less capable of properly understanding the natural world. Their “statements of faith” tell you everything you need to know about them:

No apparent, perceived, or claimed interpretation of evidence in any field, including history and chronology, can be valid if it contradicts the Scriptural record.

The days in Genesis do not correspond to geologic ages, but are six [6] consecutive twenty-four [24] hour days of Creation. Therefore, the earth is a young earth, perhaps about 6000 years old.

The various original life-forms (kinds), including mankind, were made by direct creative acts of God. The living descendants of any of the original kinds (apart from man) may represent more than one species today, reflecting the genetic potential within the original kind. Only limited biological changes (including mutational deterioration) have occurred naturally within each kind since Creation.

We are opposed to the one-sided presentation of evolutionary views in public schools, colleges, and the news media. One of the basic functions of the Museum is to disseminate the abundance of scientific evidence in support of the Biblical account of creation and young earth history.

Yeah, isn’t evolution so “one-sided”? When are scientists going to stop relying on evidence and start relying on a Bronze Age book of fairy tales to tell them about the world? Surely studying the Bible can give you valuable information about the world, like the fact that rather than curve space-time, the Earth rests on pillars. It says so in First Samuel 2:8. You can also forget about such silly things as Kepler’s Law of planetary motion, since First Corinthians 16:30 says that the Earth stands still. Man, life is so simple when you rely on the Bible for everything, isn’t it?

If these clowns get their way, they’ll eventually build a Science Education Center, which they claim will help raise the science scores of American children (which they hilariously admit is deteriorating). Yeah, it’s a real fucking mystery why kids in your country are getting dumber, especially when you have quality museums that teach “No apparent interpretation of evidence of any field can be valid if it contradicts the Scriptural record”. Well, they might run into a problem since the following scientific disciplines all conflict with the Bible:

Geology, Cosmology, Astronomy, Chemistry, Modern Germ Theory, Evolutionary Biology, Embryology, Paleontology, Epidemiology, Physics, Anthropology, etc.

Yep, the future scientific leaders of America are in good hands here! If you don’t believe me, check out their only “research” paper so far (this behemoth is over 4 pages, double-spaced), explaining how DNA is so complex only a magical entity could have created it!

Kent Hovind gets spanked

If you don’t remember Kent Hovind, it might be because you’ve come into the atheism scene a little late. He’s currently in jail for failing to pay taxes on a number of his enterprises, including a religiously themed amusement park called “Dinosaur Adventure Playland“. This bastion to ignorance features not only depictions of humans and dinosaurs co-existing, but also a replica of the Loch Ness Monster. It’s to be expected when your “scientific” claim is these animals lived during the dawn of man some 6 millennia ago, and a few are still alive today.

Kent’s “education” includes a doctorate from a diploma farm that fancies itself a University. His hilariously unoriginal, grammatical nightmare dissertation has been the subject of some scrutiny. When Wikileaks obtained a copy of it from Patriot Bible University, they denied it was the completed version, and since then neither Patriot or Hovind have responded to critics demanding to see his thesis. I suspect some of this zeal may have partially to do with the fact that he insists on being listed as “Dr. Hovind” in the phone book. I imagine it’s insulting to anyone who actually bothered to get the real deal.

If you’re wondering about his conviction, it was a result of his fringe beliefs taxes are unconstitutional and therefore wrong. It didn’t even seem to matter to him that all he needed to do was “play ball” and bother to register as a church, thereby avoiding this pesky tax nonsense. Nope, he chose instead to declare total autonomy from the United States, and when the government came knocking on the door asking where their cut of the bread was, Hovind claimed the various enterprises were the property of God, and therefore exempt. This novel defense would later secure the guy 10 years in jail.

What I find hilarious about the whole thing is even in creationism circles, Hovind is considered a total hack. Answers in Genesis – the same brilliant minds that brought you the Creation Museum – thinks his arguments are so bad they’re actually harmful to “the cause”. It’s a nice reminder that creationism nonsense – mainly fueled by religious evangelicals – still comes loaded with all the divisive trappings of theology. There’s no unity there. Even Ken Ham, who started AIG in the US, was forced out of the parent organization in Australia. These Young-Earth Creationists are similarly vilified by Old-Earth Creationists who feel “the cause” is disservice by such literal interpretations of scripture. See the trend here?

The Parade of Ignorance

What better way to celebrate the majesty of the uber-exploitive parade of vapidity that is the Miss American Pagent than to feature a video with contestants telling people about their “thoughts” on evolution. Most of these airheads tow the “teach the controversy” line, as though “students” deciding between fantasy bullshit and rigorous science isn’t a total waste of time.

Thankfully, a few actually believe, but the general feeling I get is that even those that do probably have no idea why it’s true. So which one of these geniuses does the best job of embarrassing the rest of humanity?

Creationist Pimp Harun Yahya is back

Remember Harun Yahya? He’s the Turkish creationist that published a book called “The Atlas of Creation”, his attempt to “prove” that animals were created spontaneously by his personal God. Most of the pictures in this massive 768 page monstrosity are ripped right off the Internet. One picture of a fly is in fact a metal lure. Yes, he’s that fucking incompetent.

Harun Yahya is the pseudonym of Adnan Oktar, 55, a preacher who keeps secret the sources of the ample funds that allow him and a group of followers to produce hundreds of thousands of slick and simple books on Islam under his pen name.

Harun has a following of young, wealthy religious aristocrats that fund his various schemes. He keeps them in line by filming them having sex with his various private prostitutes, and in exchange for their silence, they fund his various enterprises. Although he claims to have written a dozen books, all have been found to be ghost written, and he’s clearly authored none of them. He’s an opportunist, interested in the money, fame and power that comes from “defending the faith”.

Koran-based creationist views are traditional in the Muslim world. Advised by U.S. creationists, Harun Yahya has developed a series of books that have helped spread this view in recent years beyond the Middle East, including to France, whose five million Muslims make up Europe’s largest Islamic minority.

Right now, he’s on tour in Europe trying to “teach” students how to challenge evolution, which he believes is science’s way of promoting atheism. Is it our fault that evolution by means of natural selection does more to explain our existence than a 7th century book of mythology?

US Rep thinks Einstein would be a creationist

Is this guy for real? You think Albert Einstein would be a creationist? You think this Spinozan would consider your quaint little religion the only true one? What kind of ballooned existence do you experience to say such idiocies? You are either a liar, having fabricated your fictitious idea with the intent on making it stick, or a farcical imbecile who has never bothered to read anything that contradicted his limited world view. I suppose both are probable, but for the sake of humanity, I hope it’s the latter. I really do.

The Evolution Handbook is a joke

Today’s creationist idiot is different from his forebears. For starters, he is far more cognizant of science, and often appropriates very select information that confirms his crackpot theories. He desperately wants the legitimacy of science without actually having to do any.

The latest loon is the author of a “book” entitled “The Evolution Handbook“, written by a young-earth creationist by the name of Vance Ferrell. The majority of it is available online, and you can get an idea from the introduction what he intends to “prove”:

The scientific facts presented here will help insulate you from the desolating effects of evolutionary theory.

Yes, please insulate me from knowledge!

Life evolution is founded on the twin theories of spontaneous generation and Lamarckism (the inheritance of acquired characteristics);—yet, although they remain the basis of biological evolution, both were debunked by scientists over a century ago.

Lamarkism? Is this guy stuck in the 19th century or something? For those of you unfamiliar with this long ago debunked evolutionary idea, it proposed that species would pass on traits that it had developed during its lifetime. In other words, if an animal lived somewhere cold, it would “evolve” a fur coat and pass on this trait to the following generation.*

As for spontaneous generation, I think this fool may have it confused with abiogenesis. Regardless, despite some few hundred pages of absolute drivel, Vance can’t get over the fact that the origins of the Universe are still very mysterious. He seems entirely focused on the fact the Cosmos may have originated from nothing, and then becomes incensed this must somehow mean the Big Bang is impossible. His solution is, of course, far more ludicrous: a bearded entity created everything the way it is less than 10,000 years ago. The proof? Science is wrong, that’s why!

He offers a brief overview of every creationist scientist who agrees with him, and as you might have guessed, most of them perished before your grandparents were even born! That’s when all the good science got done, right?

The most telling chapter of all is one entitled “Evolution, Morality, and Violence” which claims that evolutionary science is ruining modern civilization:

Evolution is nihilistic in regard to morals. First, the clear implication is that people are just animals, so there is no right or wrong. Second, it teaches that all evolutionary progress has been made by some at the expense of others.

Ah yes, I can still remember the good old days before people started to study evolution. Black people lived freely and without fear of lynching. Women were treated with respect and dignity. Minorities were celebrated for their diversity and unique contributions to society. Yes, in my deluded mind all of these wonderful things happened until the wickedness of science destroyed our peaceful utopia.

Enjoy yourself while this complete fuckwad tries to convince you all the best science in the world points to a 10,000 year old earth!

*Interestingly enough, Lamarkism has seen a kind of resurgence with the field of epigenetics (some genes can become dormant or expressed depending on certain environmental conditions, although this theory is still in its infancy). So perhaps there is something to the theory after all!

Bad Creationism debating tactics obliterated

Are you an idiot who wants desperately to continue to believe in a supernatural entity despite no evidence to do so? Are you intimidated by science, and how it conflicts with your supernatural understanding of the world? Are you concerned evolution makes your Cosmogony seem infantile and basic by comparison? Then head on over to Creationtips.com*, where you can learn a whole slew of idiotic talking points, such as.

1. How did the Universe come about?
There is of course no scientific law or demonstrable process that would let something evolve from nothing. If there was nothing in the universe to begin with, obviously nothing could happen to cause anything to appear. [Jake’s Note: You’ll read this whole “there is no scientific law” rhetoric all the time on the site. Evidently these clowns have no real understanding of what scientific laws are all about.]

Translation: Something can’t come from nothing, therefore my Creator God who willed himself into existence did it.

In any case, this question is supposed to confuse non-believers who aren’t super familiar with astrophysics. How can a Universe come from nothing? Well, Laurence Krauss has some good answers to this question, but it’s still an argument I find quickly paints religionists into a corner. If it’s true you can’t get something from nothing, then why does this rule not apply to their Creator God?

2. How could living creatures come from Non-Life?
There are no provable mechanisms for how molecules could increase in complexity without cells to produce and utilize them. For example, you cannot assume proteins before you have the DNA that codes for them.

Translation: There are no provable mechanisms for life, therefore my improvable deity did it!

Creationists are always a little confused as to how non-living materials create living entities. While we cannot yet fully explain how the necessary proteins arranged themselves to create DNA, it’s important to remember this molecule is not “alive” in the same sense that we are. It’s simply a biological mechanism for replication, and there are other non-organic examples of this as well.

Any creationists using the word “DNA” is a fool; if they believe humans are separate from animals, they should choose a different molecule: this one suggests humans share a common ancestor with all animals. It’s a far cry from their Adam and Eve bullshit.

3. How could new genetic information arise?
The theory of evolution teaches that complex life-forms evolved from simple life-forms. There is no natural law known that could allow this to happen. The best that evolutionists can come up with to try to explain how this might have happened is to propose that it happened by mutations and natural selection.

Translation: I’m confused about evolution, therefore God did it.

Creationists are always confused about how evolution works. They have to be, otherwise it kills their little delusion that Earth was spawned by an invisible deity. They always claim you can’t see evolution in action, even though you can with something as mundane as using anti-bacterial soap. It’s even clearly spelled out for you on the label: if they kill 99.9% of all bacteria, the 0.1% that survived have developed a greater resiliency to this particular soap. Over time, these traits make their way into the population and your soap becomes increasingly ineffectual as we slowly train bacterium to resist us through our germophobic habits. Tada!

More sophisticated creationists (Intelligent Design) admit this kind of evolution exists, but somehow these types of changes can’t possibly lead to different traits leading to separate species over long periods of time. Even if evolution were wrong, it would not make their magical-spontaneous-sky-man hypothesis any more correct.

…mutations and natural selection do not show gain in information, just rearrangement or loss of what is already there — therefore there may be beneficial mutations without an increase in genetic information.

There’s a wonderful video explaining how a kind of “loss of information” was responsible for humans branching off into a separate species, and you need to check it out.

4. Where is the proof that apes turned into humans?
Thousands of fossils and fossil fragments of apes and humans have now been found — and they don’t show a steady progression from apes to humans at all. Fossils have been found in the wrong time-frames, put into the wrong categories before all the evidence was in, and what was once thought to be the ape-human family tree now actually has no trunk — just unconnected branches.

Translation: I don’t even understand the notion that human beings ARE apes!

This one makes me the saddest, because it reminds me we’re still a long ways away as a species from admitting what we are. You’d think the fabric of society would collapse like a balloon as soon as we all realized we are animals like any other. The fact that we are offended by the notion of being apes goes to show we have little appreciation for the truth, and even less appreciation for how extraordinarily fortunate we are to be alive.

As for debunking this claim the “fossil record keeps changing”, keep in mind the chance of actually finding human fossils is already a rarity (land species always leave less evidence of their existence, and we haven’t been around for long). Our entire collection of ancient hominid bones could fit in the back of a pickup truck, for God’s sake! But to say there’s no evidence we share a common ancestor with apes is simply a pious lie. The evidence is overwhelming (one of the proofs is in the video I mentioned before), and keep in mind so far, the best alternative explanation these creationists offer is the equivalent of magic. How are they so endlessly impressed with themselves?

*(Update: The site no longer exists)

Illinois school board backs creationism

Illinois’s 95th District school board has just joined a distinguished group of ignoramuses who continue to undermine the educational futures of their progeny. The members of the board are all up for re-election, and all 4 candidates have said they support creationism being taught alongside evolution in science classrooms.

One even claimed it was evolution, and not his stupid Judeo-Christian based belief, that was “just a theory”.

Pietro [one of the candidates] believes creationism should be taught in science class to give students “as much information as possible” about the origins of life.

“I think we can say this is a theory,” he said Thursday. “None of us were here when man was created.”

I guess we can assume from his highly scientific “roundup” he’s the best person to dictate what students should be learning about biology here…

Creationism isn’t a theory. It makes no predictions, has no way of being tested, and is believed DESPITE the evidence. It’s a faith-based belief, and nothing more, and it deserves to be in science class as much as Holocaust denial deserves to be in a history class. Teach the controversy, people!

Think I’m being overly dramatic? If you lower the criteria of “theory” to the point where anyone with a bullshit crackpot idea is allowed to “teach the controversy”, how can we hope the education of our children has any fucking integrity?

Carl Sagan vs creationists

Oh Carl, why did a random mutation in your cells have to lead to your ultimate and early demise? We could certainly use you now to debate the same pathetic arguments that creationists were, and still are using. Where are all the transitional fossils? Where the fuck is the proof of your non-theory?

Creationist teacher will finally get the boot

If you’re a long-time reader of the site, you might remember a guy by the name of John Freshwater. I wrote about him in 2009 after he was facing dismissal for 1) teaching creationism in his science class, 2) telling his students gays are evil sinners, and 3) burning crosses in the arms of some of his students. A shittier science teacher, there is not.

Well, it finally looks like the lengthy process of firing him is almost over. After a bunch of appeals and sporadic hearings, a report issued by the state has recommended Freshwater should be fired:

“(Freshwater) persisted in his attempts to make eighth grade science what he thought it should be – an examination of accepted scientific curriculum with the discerning eye of Christian doctrine,” Shepherd wrote. “He used his classroom as a means of sowing the seeds of doubt and confusion in the minds of impressionable students as they searched for meaning in the subject of science.”

Freshwater had for years asked the school board to consider allowing a curriculum that includes arguments against evolution. Shepherd wrote that after no changes were made, Freshwater took it upon himself to hand out Christian materials and push creationism.

I can see removing shitty teachers who push their ridiculous dogma on others is going to be an uphill battle if each one takes almost 2 years to dismiss. What does a person need to do to get the boot right away if burning a cross with a electrical laboratory instrument doesn’t do it?